Sex, Pregnancy, and Marriage

  • Thread starter Thread starter snpm
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

snpm

Guest
I honestly do not know if I am putting this question in the correct category or not, but please feel free to help me!

I just got married in September and we are expecting a baby the end of June. Sex was never wonderful to me, but now that I am pregnant I have NO desire what so ever for sex and it is not comfortable for me!

What is wrong with me???
 
Well, there is likely nothing wrong with you.

Have you talked to your doctor about your concerns and issues?
 
Yes and no. I plan to talk to her again on Monday. I wanted to go see a counselor, but worried to see one that is not catholic based. There just aren’t any closer than an hour from me. Do you think just any counselor is ok?
 
snpm said:
I honestly do not know if I am putting this question in the correct category or not, but please feel free to help me!

I just got married in September and we are expecting a baby the end of June. Sex was never wonderful to me, but now that I am pregnant I have NO desire what so ever for sex and it is not comfortable for me!

What is wrong with me???
Click to expand...
:hug: Oh darling this is totally normal!! From what I understand you’re starting your 2nd trimester?
This is when your body is going into hormonal over-drive.
It makes total sense that your sex drive is low - your body is bulking up on so many hormones to help the baby, not to mention if you’ve got morning sickness; that it takes precedence over your sex-drive.

And I have to say…wait a month or so.
Women tend to get a little…uh…randy, during the end of the 2nd tri and into their 3rd, not to mention generally experiencing crazy extreme…“O”'s. (lol!)
It’s all the normal decrease and fluctuation of your hormones. 🙂

Don’t worry or stress about this. Things will even themselves out again.

Peace,
~ PetiteFoi
 
Thank You PetiteFoi! I just hate how it is hurting my relationship with my husband and I just don’t know how to explain it to him. All I do is tell him no not now or “just do it and be done”
 
snpm said:
Thank You PetiteFoi! I just hate how it is hurting my relationship with my husband and I just don’t know how to explain it to him. All I do is tell him no not now or “just do it and be done”
Click to expand...
Okay, see that may become a problem.
When you’re pregnant and especially when your little one comes along - mommy-mode goes into overdrive.
Most husbands tend to actually feel “left out.”
My husband sure did! I was all about baby and newborns are so helpless and needy - not only that, you’re baby will be all about mommy, especially if you’re nursing,
Daddy tends to be a bit “put at the way-side” the first few months of babies life; and that really can hurt your husbands feelings.
The odds are he won’t say too much about it, he’ll probably realize that it makes sense that you’re all about baby and baby is all about you, but still…

I know you’re not feeling ‘it’ right now; (though like I said, it may come back with a literal passion!) but in the meantime, explain how you’re feeling; and if you do decide to be intimate, don’t make him feel like you’re ‘taking one for the team’ - (most) Men need sex to feel intimate, women need intimacy to enjoy sex.

So I know you’re feeling probably not the greatest right now; but offer some romantic alternatives.
Most men would love a foot/back massage
or a bath together (if you can both fit! LOL!)

Make sure he knows that he’s still special and #1 in your heart, or he’s could really start feeling like a third-wheel when baby shows up.

:hug3:

Peace,
~ PetiteFoi
 
I hope there’s nothing wrong with you because I’m in the same boat. Well, actually, it’s not that the drive isn’t there, but I’ve got really awful cramps and have had since the begining. I’m told the cramps may diminish soon so I’m sure we are both looking forward to that.
 
PetiteFoi said:
Okay, see that may become a problem.
When you’re pregnant and especially when your little one comes along - mommy-mode goes into overdrive.
Most husbands tend to actually feel “left out.”
My husband sure did! I was all about baby and newborns are so helpless and needy - not only that, you’re baby will be all about mommy, especially if you’re nursing,
Daddy tends to be a bit “put at the way-side” the first few months of babies life; and that really can hurt your husbands feelings.
The odds are he won’t say too much about it, he’ll probably realize that it makes sense that you’re all about baby and baby is all about you, but still…

I know you’re not feeling ‘it’ right now; (though like I said, it may come back with a literal passion!) but in the meantime, explain how you’re feeling; and if you do decide to be intimate, don’t make him feel like you’re ‘taking one for the team’ - (most) Men need sex to feel intimate, women need intimacy to enjoy sex.

So I know you’re feeling probably not the greatest right now; but offer some romantic alternatives.
Most men would love a foot/back massage
or a bath together (if you can both fit! LOL!)

Make sure he knows that he’s still special and #1 in your heart, or he’s could really start feeling like a third-wheel when baby shows up.

:hug3:

Peace,
~ PetiteFoi
Click to expand...
👍
 
PetiteFoi said:
Okay, see that may become a problem.
When you’re pregnant and especially when your little one comes along - mommy-mode goes into overdrive.
Most husbands tend to actually feel “left out.”
My husband sure did! I was all about baby and newborns are so helpless and needy - not only that, you’re baby will be all about mommy, especially if you’re nursing,
Daddy tends to be a bit “put at the way-side” the first few months of babies life; and that really can hurt your husbands feelings.
The odds are he won’t say too much about it, he’ll probably realize that it makes sense that you’re all about baby and baby is all about you, but still…

I know you’re not feeling ‘it’ right now; (though like I said, it may come back with a literal passion!) but in the meantime, explain how you’re feeling; and if you do decide to be intimate, don’t make him feel like you’re ‘taking one for the team’ - (most) Men need sex to feel intimate, women need intimacy to enjoy sex.

So I know you’re feeling probably not the greatest right now; but offer some romantic alternatives.
Most men would love a foot/back massage
or a bath together (if you can both fit! LOL!)

Make sure he knows that he’s still special and #1 in your heart, or he’s could really start feeling like a third-wheel when baby shows up.

:hug3:

Peace,
~ PetiteFoi
Click to expand...
I have heard that so many times it nauseates me. It is so horribly publicized as to make men feel and look shallow. Look, your husband doesn’t need sex to feel intimate. He needs to know you respect him and his role as the baby’s father. Many women just see men as an expendable appendage and most guys know this! If mom isn’t such a “its all about me and the baby” type men would bond with children just fine and develop the daddy brain. I understand a baby needs to feed but baby’s have other needs too that a father can tend to like holding them and giving them attention.

greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_astonishing_science_of_father_involvement
greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_daddy_brain
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top