Sex question

[Mirror_Mirror]

Ricofall I think that you have done a great job of explaining the art of self mastery and that of giving 100% and expecting 0. You are in the same place that I am on this topic. As a father of 5 I know that this becomes an issue as it relates to planning a family. But I, like you, had to learn that respect of my wife and change my view of sex. Reading The Good News About Sex and Marriage as well as Holy Sex were instrumental to me in learning what the tru meaning of the marital embrace is with my wife.
We do have to, as men, learn how to be the ones that love and respect our wives no matter what. If the time is not right to bring a child into your family and you both want to share in the marital embrace you have to make a conscious decision as to what is important to you at that time. I that decision is to wait and you have to put off the marital embrace it is the generous and loving thing to do to maintain that self mastery and self control, respecting each other to wait lovingly until you can come together as husband and wife.
Jesus never said it would be easy, only worth it.

 

[stewstew03]

That is something that you will have to figure out. Since I do not know what motivates you, I would not know what works. For me, it biggest push was when my first daughter was born. I know that she will choose a possible husband years from now (hopefully after 30ish…), but she will compare him to me. I will be her standard so I must be the highest standard I can be. Some of that means her Mom (my wife of course) is more important than me and my needs. That is were I get my strength from. That is what love is. It is the selfless act of giving yourself to another and not expecting anything in return. She is not their to satisfy my needs, I am there to fill her needs, whether it is physical or emotional.

For Example: My wife is currently pregnant we cannot engage in normal relations because of it. Do I still have urges? Yes! But I control them now. I do not let them tell me what I want. She usually says no, I do not ask for a reason, I just cuddle and let her know I love her no matter what. I do not get mad, I do not get “sexually frustrated”. If I do, I know that I have sinned against her and even against God. It is not her fault, it is mine.

Excellent post ricofall. I struggled with this as well, and one day I realized that my two young sons would at some point (hopefully) look to me for advice in their marriages. I pictured myself giving them “husbandly” advice twenty-plus years from now with regard to marriage, sex, etc. Preparing myself to be able to offer Godly advice to them has been a strong motivation for me to keep my sexual urges in check (including abstaining from masturbation, prurient images, etc.). Marriage is not about me and satisfying all my urges, it’s first and foremost about sacrifice and putting your spouse’s wants/needs first (as Christ loved the Church). It’s not easy, but it’s a process and I believe that’s the way God intended it…

 

[divinefaith]

If OP asked this question, it doesnt mean he can’t control his urges. Maybe his wife also wants to engage in intercourse over those few days and she is concerned that it could be sinful

 

[ricofall]

If OP asked this question, it doesnt mean he can’t control his urges. Maybe his wife also wants to engage in intercourse over those few days and she is concerned that it could be sinful

Post #10 is where he states the abstaining from sex is the issue.