Sex question

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Terrapin97

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Please help me to better understand something. If my wife and I engage in foreplay that does not lead to an attempt at procreation, is that considered a sin? Is sex with your wife during non- fertile times a sin? I’m not sure what’s allowed / not allowed even in marriage
 
A perfect Christian married couple practices sex only for procreation. And such couple does not have sex during Lents and fasting days. But i am Orthodox, so what do i know about the rules of the Roman-Catholic Church…

To answer your question, i think it is sinful. But if not having sex risks your marriage, then don’t reject sex.
 
For a Catholic theologian’s answer:

The Way of the Lord Jesus
By Germaine Grisez
Volume 2, chapter 9

twotlj.org/G-2-9-S.html

Follow the link to go directly to the chapter on marriage and sexuality. He has a section of reading that lays the groundwork on this topic and then has a Q&A section. I think you will find he addresses your question.
 
Sexual intercourse, or the marital embrace, is not just for the purpose of procreation, but also is to be a holy kind of bonding between husband and wife that is often misconstrued and believed to be merely earthly “fun” and while I suppose it should be fun and nothing is wrong with that, it should never be all about fun, as this objectifies the spouse–in essence making them into a play-thing. (I base such statements on “Theology of the Body” by St. John Paul II.)

As for foreplay, I have read that it is alright if it (intentionally) leads to sexual intercourse–fertility not being mentioned as it is not a requirement, although of course, artificial contraceptives may not be used–and that sexually pleasure is not deliberately allowed to peak during foreplay.
 
I believe you can dissect human relations like a frog. Or you can live your love of your spouse as God would have it… naturally. Is this hug going somewhere and therefore it is licit. Or am I using my wife as a sex toy? For Heavens sake, lighten up!
 
A great resource for you would be “the good news about Sex and marriage” by Christopher West. It can be purchased used for very cheap
 
Harvesting sexual pleasure from your spouse while intentionally & consciously avoiding conjugal union, which is the man climaxing inside his beloved, is gravely sinful and a mutual offense to the dignity of each person, and to God.

Examples would be:

-the man intentionally climaxing outside of his wife’s vagina, “spilling his seed on the ground”, as Onan did (or the woman intentionally having the man do this)
  • the man climaxing inside of his beloved, but intentionally using a contraceptive to deny procreation (or the woman intentionally doing this, or the woman intentionally having the man do this, or the man intentionally having the woman do this)
  • the man sexually pleasuring his woman, while intentionally also not climaxing inside of her in the episode of the lovemaking (or the woman intentionally having the man do this)
Rigorous prayer, study, and meditation will - in time - peel off the perception of this being somehow restrictive on humanity, and reveal an intense beauty & joy to the marital embrace, such that illicit sexual practices will not only be rightly perceived as sinful, but also (as with all sin) undesirable. Orthodox Catholics enjoy the highest degree of intimacy & joy between the male and female person. “Theology of the Body Explained” by Richard Hogan, is a good book I am finishing up which treats the subject of the dignity of the human body, though it is more expansive than exclusively the question of what is holy sexuality.
 
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