Short answer: “all’s well that ends well.” That is to say, if it ends in a way that is open to life, good, otherwise, don’t do it.
I could make a list of things people do that don’t fit in that category, but I don’t think that’s really necessary. That simple rule pretty much covers it. Almost anything is allowed as foreplay, but the completed act has to end in the right place, if you know what I mean.
Also, everything you do has to be okay with both spouses, obviously.
I agree with the last Statement here, I think before you propose, you need to talk to her about what you both would be comfortable with for a lifetime, if conflict or misunderstandings arise, please confide in a clergy-person who is known for their counseling in these matters, and who is extremely helpful with it, too.
Present popular culture pressures, the adult film industry, and the Kama Sutra(all evil arguments that have ruined the possibility of my finding anyone appropriate enough for me), had ruined what I thought marriage was about…, the two are vastly different, however, I never have and I will NOT do much of anything anyone in their perversions tries to suggest I must do to “keep a man.” I am utterly disgusted that I am suggested to conform to these ideals because of this, that, and the other(yes I am being vague, but if you want specifics, just ask).
I think, from what I understand so far about TOB(Theology of the body), that foreplay is allowable, but that has its limits, it is like the fine line between buying a car for $8K within your budget and keeping you content, and buying a $80K vehicle well out of your plans, in debt, and more confrontation with family/people about the necessities of this car.
Now if you both do not have much or any experience, I would say to try it in your marriage, and if it is not what you thought it was, know that it will be enough for the both of you to live without because you love and support each other very much at this point. Just remember a marriage with a good healthy sex life with the perks of children, stability, and reciprocation, is by far, much better than basing it only on those efforts in bed. You do not need to always be concerned with this, however you are at a tender age and you have more hormones than you can deal with, so I can understand and commend your focus and responsibility thus far. Try to think of more ways to be romantic and thoughtful, because those sweet moments are the memories you keep in your mind in the good and the bad of times, that is support, that is hope, and that is love!
Blessings to you and your girlfriend!
-Hope
