I don’t think we should be too quick to dismiss this verse as not reflecting a universal truth about raising daughters. I am not at all an expert at interpreting ancient languages, but I can find an English translation through the USCCB website at
usccb.org/bible/sirach/42 .
To the entire section 42:9-14 is added the subtitle, “A Father’s Care for His Daughter”:
9
A daughter is a treasure that keeps her father wakeful,
and worry over her drives away sleep:e
Lest in her youth she remain unmarried,
or when she is married, lest she be childless;
10
While unmarried, lest she be defiled,
or in her husband’s house, lest she prove unfaithful;
Lest she become pregnant in her father’s house,
or be sterile in that of her husband.
11
My son, keep a close watch on your daughter,
lest she make you a laughingstock for your enemies,
A byword in the city and the assembly of the people,
an object of derision in public gatherings.f
See that there is no lattice in her room,
or spot that overlooks the approaches to the house.
12
Do not let her reveal her beauty to any male,g
or spend her time with married women;
13
For just as moths come from garments,
so a woman’s wickedness comes from a woman.
14
Better a man’s harshness than a woman’s indulgence,
a frightened daughter than any disgrace.
It may be true that the literal translation of the Greek word is closer to “goodness” than the “indulgence” shown here, but based on the context, I doubt that it was the message that the Biblical author intended to convey. Remember that words such as “evil” and “hate” in the Old Testament, often attributed to God Himself, have very different meanings than we would use for them today, simply because our language has evolved and become more refined such that we have a much larger vocabulary than the ancients did.
Is there any doubt what the author is writing about there though? Masculine authority and strict discipline is the best way to raise a daughter, and feminine authority is often not up to the task, because married women will often young women and passively allow them to act and dress inappropriately. Many will actually encourage flirty behavior because older women will seek to live vicariously through the younger women. The increased promiscuity of women raised by single mothers, and their willingness to engage in degrading sexual behavior, is so well known that it has become a common social joke and locker room cliche.
True, there are some very tough women out there, and old school nuns have an infamous reputation for weeding out inappropriate behavior, but then again, this can hardly be construed as “niceness” as the author intended. Those nuns are mean for a reason!
Thus, I tend to believe that Sirach 42:14 is indeed pointing us toward a universal truth about the preference for strict male discipline (rather than maternal positivity and indulgence) to raise daughters in a proper way such that bringing shame upon themselves and the whole family is avoided. I know that’s not what the current culture wants us to believe, but I think it’s true.