Sexual acts within marriage during pregnancy

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First off I apologize if this has already been answered elsewhere, I have been searching for answers for months now and am really to embarrassed to go and ask my priest any of these questions. Second, I also apologize if I offend anybody with my wording, I like to just come out and say things instead of trying to beat around the bush 🙂 So here goes.
A little background: I have a very high sex drive and my husband doesn’t. Most of the time this doesn’t bother me as I’ve always been able to orgasm during intercourse if not every time we have sex at least enough times to where I feel somewhat satisfied. During pregnancy however this changes for me. My drive gets kicked into overdrive, and things get swollen “down there” and it makes it harder to achieve orgasm through anything but direct clitoral stimulation. What makes things even harder for me is that before deciding to become Catholic I used to masturbate a lot to take the edge off my desires so I wasn’t constantly begging my husband for sex and always feeling like I was being rejected because he didn’t feel like it. I know that sex is meant to be procreative. I get that, I do. My questions all stem now from the fact that I’m pregnant. It’s not like I can get pregnant while pregnant, so it would seem to me that certain sexual acts (like oral sex to completion for him, and manual stimulation for me) that are normally illicit because they block the life-bringing aspects of sex, would be permissible during this period, because like I said, it’s not like I can get pregnant again while I’m already pregnant lol. Any insight into this would be extremely helpful. TIA 🙂
 
Your natural state of fertility has no bearing on what sexual acts are permissible or not. The sex act is what it is, so when you engage in relations with your husband, you should both at least attempt to have intercourse even if you do other things first (which is often necessary so things CAN get that to that point, especially when men and women get older.)

Neither you nor your husband should make a habit of refusing the other when they request sex.
 
jessica_mars said:
First off I apologize if this has already been answered elsewhere, I have been searching for answers for months now and am really to embarrassed to go and ask my priest any of these questions. Second, I also apologize if I offend anybody with my wording, I like to just come out and say things instead of trying to beat around the bush 🙂 So here goes.
A little background: I have a very high sex drive and my husband doesn’t. Most of the time this doesn’t bother me as I’ve always been able to orgasm during intercourse if not every time we have sex at least enough times to where I feel somewhat satisfied. During pregnancy however this changes for me. My drive gets kicked into overdrive, and things get swollen “down there” and it makes it harder to achieve orgasm through anything but direct clitoral stimulation. What makes things even harder for me is that before deciding to become Catholic I used to masturbate a lot to take the edge off my desires so I wasn’t constantly begging my husband for sex and always feeling like I was being rejected because he didn’t feel like it. I know that sex is meant to be procreative. I get that, I do. My questions all stem now from the fact that I’m pregnant. It’s not like I can get pregnant while pregnant, so it would seem to me that certain sexual acts (like oral sex to completion for him, and manual stimulation for me) that are normally illicit because they block the life-bringing aspects of sex, would be permissible during this period, because like I said, it’s not like I can get pregnant again while I’m already pregnant lol. Any insight into this would be extremely helpful. TIA 🙂
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It is licit for your husband to do manual stimulation during, before and after your lovemaking.
 
Thanks guys 🙂 Just wanted to make sure. I like to know every part of something, it helps me to truly understand something. And I think my husband would think that there was something seriously wrong with me if I ever refused him sex lol. The only time I have ever done that is during the 6 week postpartum period when you can’t have sex until cleared by your OB. He’s the one who refuses me 😦
 
jessica_mars said:
First off I apologize if this has already been answered elsewhere, I have been searching for answers for months now and am really to embarrassed to go and ask my priest any of these questions. Second, I also apologize if I offend anybody with my wording, I like to just come out and say things instead of trying to beat around the bush 🙂 So here goes.
A little background: I have a very high sex drive and my husband doesn’t. Most of the time this doesn’t bother me as I’ve always been able to orgasm during intercourse if not every time we have sex at least enough times to where I feel somewhat satisfied. During pregnancy however this changes for me. My drive gets kicked into overdrive, and things get swollen “down there” and it makes it harder to achieve orgasm through anything but direct clitoral stimulation. What makes things even harder for me is that before deciding to become Catholic I used to masturbate a lot to take the edge off my desires so I wasn’t constantly begging my husband for sex and always feeling like I was being rejected because he didn’t feel like it. I know that sex is meant to be procreative. I get that, I do. My questions all stem now from the fact that I’m pregnant. It’s not like I can get pregnant while pregnant, so it would seem to me that certain sexual acts (like oral sex to completion for him, and manual stimulation for me) that are normally illicit because they block the life-bringing aspects of sex, would be permissible during this period, because like I said, it’s not like I can get pregnant again while I’m already pregnant lol. Any insight into this would be extremely helpful. TIA 🙂
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My wife experienced the same “urges” as you’ve described during her two pregnancies. It’s not easy being Catholic and sometimes what we’re asked to bear seem unfair but we are asked to bear them nonetheless. I will pray for you and your husband. Please remember, the conjugal act is an expression of love (a gift) God gave us so that we may continue in His Creation process; bear children and bring them up as good Christians/Catholics. To use His gift in any other way is to profane the gift as well as the Giver. God Bless you.
 
We are asked to obstain because it is a selfish act. In love we are called to learn to give and recieve in an ongoing manner. In marriage we are called to be drawn out of ourselves. It is in this that we can learn to give and recieve. In this quest you will need to include your husband more therby getting him out of his comfort Zone and learn to rely on him more. It is a great practice to how you will need to raise your hold that grows in your womb. You may be tempted to exclude your husband, when in fact you need to learn to include your husband more … Starting with biological sexual needs that fluctuate during hormonal increases.
 
First, congratulations on your pregnancy! 😃

Second, you are such a lucky duck being one of the few and far between women who can achieve climax during sex (and not need to have a lot of help to before or after ;))

Finally, your husband still has to finish inside you and you still can only finish right before, during or after sex. Sorry!:o
 
Welcome to the Catholic Faith Communiy. We’re glad to have you.
 
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