Sexual Attatchment

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punisherthunder

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This is somewhat embarrassing, but I’m kinda at my wits end with it sometimes. I have a certain clothing fetish. Whenever I see a particular woman wear this kind of clothing, it excites me sexually. I don’t really think about them in a sexual way, it’s just that this fetish seems to bring it out. Anyone have advice or comment on this?
 
Sometimes it helps just to rationalize it and think through your fetish, why it might be that you feel this way whenever you see a particular item of clothing. You might find that you have no justification or that your arousal is purely arbitrary. Such realizations might dissuade you.

However, assuming that doesn’t help, try realizing that sexual arousal outside of a relationship for that purpose, aka – marriage, is very disordered. One should not be aroused by the sight of a woman walking down the street, much less a non-human thing. In other words, you are very much wrong for being aroused like you are.

Honestly, just forget about it. Your arousal by such a petty thing has no sigifnifance in your life and in everyway it is shameful and hurtful. To be honest, your arousal might be intensified by the feelings of shame. So if all else fails, just don’t worry about it and let it go.
 
punisherthunder said:
This is somewhat embarrassing, but I’m kinda at my wits end with it sometimes. I have a certain clothing fetish. Whenever I see a particular woman wear this kind of clothing, it excites me sexually. I don’t really think about them in a sexual way, it’s just that this fetish seems to bring it out. Anyone have advice or comment on this?
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I’m in the same boat with you. It is a constant battle and has been for me for at least eight years. I just pray often and try to stay busy doing other things. I still fall, but I get back up and keep moving. Good luck.
 
Congratulations, you are a man.

Seriously, we wouldn’t need a savior if we didn’t have flaws. Be Peter instead of Judas. Keep asking forgiveness and seeking sanctification, don’t despair.
 
punisherthunder said:
This is somewhat embarrassing, but I’m kinda at my wits end with it sometimes. I have a certain clothing fetish. Whenever I see a particular woman wear this kind of clothing, it excites me sexually. I don’t really think about them in a sexual way, it’s just that this fetish seems to bring it out. Anyone have advice or comment on this?
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All fetishes are a form of classical conditioning. At some point in the past you were aroused or had an orgasm in the presence of this object and that association (i.e., pleasure paired with neutral object) resulted in arousal upon future sightings of the object. Theoretically, you can eliminate that arousal response with extinction (don’t pair arousal or orgasm with a sighting of the object) or you can pair a sighting of the object with something that is aversive or unpleasant. If you’re consistent, eventually your arousal response will subside and extinguish…but, you really need to be completely consistent because if you slip up, then you can actually strengthen the arousal response (in behavior jargon it’s called intermittent reinforcement). Oh, and by the way, prayer can never hurt.
 
Zahmir: You can not assume that he is “very much wrong” for being aroused. Yes it is disordered, but temptation itself is not a sin. It is only the sin of lust if he willfully and knowingly entertains the notion.
 
twf said:
Zahmir: You can not assume that he is “very much wrong” for being aroused. Yes it is disordered, but temptation itself is not a sin. It is only the sin of lust if he willfully and knowingly entertains the notion.
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No no. I’m not saying he’s morally culpable, but that the attachment is very wrong. Sometimes it helps just to hear those words: “You are wrong for feeling that way.”

Let me explain. For a while, I couldn’t help but look at girls and think of how “hot” they were. I would grow envious if I couldn’t be around them and I would try to impress them.

I knew this is wrong, but I didn’t stop until I heard the words, “That attraction is wrong.” As in, according to the former Pope in Love and Responsibility, the only context for appropriate sexual attraction is in a marriage context, or at least, one to whom you give your love in anticipation of marriage.

Case in point, the fetish is disordered beyond all my understanding. It is a gross impoverishment of the sexuality which God gave us, and it directs our sexual efforts away from the person, and even the body, and towards a thing!!! An article of clothing!

I sympathize with the OP, and I sincerely want to help him achieve a more full appreciation of his sexuality. However, crucial to this understanding is that there is more than one’s shame that should deter one from refraining from an action or feeling. In other words, one’s shame should not be the sole reason to convert into the person God wants us to be, although this can be a good sign of something that is wrong. Rather, the reason to convert should be the appreciation of our sexuality and the determination to respect it fully throughout all vocations.

OP, if you read this, I hope this helps more. A fetish is wrong, it is disordered, and while you may not be morally responsible for the fetish itself, certainly searching out ways to appeal to your fetish or encouraging the experiences of sexual arousal would be sinful. While you may already know this, I ask that you reflect on it and make it a part of yourself. What does it mean to respect one’s sexuality? What would Christ want me to do with my body? How would Christ want me to use my sexuality?
 
Ban sexual attachment with saltpeter–that is the way to go!!
 
JimG said:
What is this fetish with potassium nitrate? It’s useless as an anaphrodisiac and the side effects are terrible.
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Least it’ll make sex nuts think twice bout sexual attatchment, so much, the better.
 
punisherthunder said:
This is somewhat embarrassing, but I’m kinda at my wits end with it sometimes. I have a certain clothing fetish. Whenever I see a particular woman wear this kind of clothing, it excites me sexually. I don’t really think about them in a sexual way, it’s just that this fetish seems to bring it out. Anyone have advice or comment on this?
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Finding a woman attractive is not sinful.

It is not a ‘fetish’ just because they are wearing some kind of jumper or something.

But, you must fight the feeling to become aroused, because it is rooted in lust.

Sex is the ultimate giving between a man and wife. Thus to find something arousing can be an occasin of sin if it should lead you ‘further’ because it does not have a good intention behind it.

Keep praying and ask God to get you through it.

Peace and God Bless.
 
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