Sexual Attraction

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Honestly, I thought of Adam.
His thinking had to be impaired.
Then he blames her - right to God !
She had to be thee most perfect woman ever -
Someone told me she was a blonde and Adam was a red head.
 
Thanks Jim. I am aware of that trap, but it can be hard to sort out in the individual instances.
 
If you’re into porn, you will most likely eventually lose your attraction and drive for your wife no matter what she looks like. Humans just can’t compete.
 
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I would not say that I am ‘into’ porn, I would say that I am struggling with it. And yes, if I don’t stop that is a very real danger I am facing.

P.S. Prayers would be much appreciated.
 
I will say I think it’s perfectly healthy to marry a woman you are sexually attracted to. Just make sure you are wonderful friends, first. And that’s not just being able to carry conversation and have fun with her. It means you honor and respect her as a brother.
 
I aspire to and agree with all of that, except the brother part. It would be deeper than a fraternal relationship
 
I would say the majority of adults seeking a spouse .
The way you wrote your preferences made it sound like a faceless woman with big breasts ,it was kind of funny sorry…
I will pray and my advive would be to get professional help for starters G .Your future wife will apreciate that very much .God bless.
 
I see. That was not my intention. I had a lot of thoughts to get out.

And I very much appreciate the advice and the prayers!
 
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Grond21 said:
. I am attracted to women’s breasts, specifically larger ones. And I would like to marry a woman like that.
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Word of advice to you: If you focus too much on how a woman looks or if she has those big breasts you like chances are you will be single for a long time. I know many guys in their late 30s who were very picky and now they are very single.
And don’t blame your porn addiction on “our culture”, take some responsibility.
 
I wish I didn’t know this, but my grandfather courted my grandmother because she was ample. Turns out that wasn’t such a good reason to get married.

If you are looking at porn you have to know that most women in it are fake. And a shocking number of women even outside of porn have had augmentation. A lot of your attraction is to fraud.

As a younger man I would have found myself particularly attracted like you are. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that what is most attractive about a woman is her personality and character.
 
I do not want to do that to myself, that is for sure. And I want a rightly balanced perspective on her. It just really hard to know where my bad perspective ends and my good sexual desire begins.
 
I am sorry that was his attitude. I have no intention of choosing or pursuing a woman just because of that. And character and heart are what is most attractive to me. My struggle is that the breast size is also important, just not as important. But that desire is still very present to me.

I also want a real woman, inside and out.
 
Being celibate or chaste is so difficult! Avoid all porn like the plague. A smart man does NOT throw gas on a fire…!

A speaker from the Chastity project website advises men to immediately turn to prayer when a woman’s beauty impacts us. He suggests, “How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord”, and going from there to thanking God for creating beauty, and then pray for her, that God would bless her and lead her into his best for her. There are some good resources at chastity project. Strive for holiness in this area and you’ll end up SO blessed.
 
Thank you, that is great advice! Is that Jason Evert who said that?
 
I don’t know that was his only reason for choosing my grandmother to marry, but it was what first attracted him. I mean he didn’t find her attractive based on her personality as he talked to her after church.

I certainly understand the desire. I’d say try meditating on what makes a successful marriage. Ultimately looks has nothing to do with it. I say that because as said elsewhere when you marry you marry for life even if the person is horribly disfigured. Looks may attract you to someone and it is great to be attracted to your spouse. But it really has nothing to do with a good marriage.
 
“A smart man does not throw gas on the fire!” That’s good advice and so is the idea about personality and character being more important, physical attraction may get you talking but character stops you walking…out!

For lifelong marriage to work the character of your spouse is what gets you over the finish line no doubt about it. Looks fade, gravity plus muscle depletion are a powerful duo.
God bless.
 
Focus on how the person makes you feel. Let your big head lead your little one instead of the other way around 😉

As I’ve experienced it, there are two types of attraction. There is the “WOW!” kind of attraction that hits you between the eyes and makes you feel like you have to be with that person. This is strong, has the tendency to lead us by the nose, but is usually fleeting when taken in the context of a fifty, sixty year marriage. There is also an attraction that builds slowly, based on shared values, laughter, experiences/struggles. It tends to grow stronger with time, not weaker. Sometimes, both types of love are present in the relationship, sometimes just one.

They both are great; they both feel good. If I had to choose, I’d go with the slow kind…100%
 
My 2 cents:
All of us, men and women, would prefer to marry somebody we find physically attractive, and that usually includes sexually attractive. It’s not uncommon for both men and women to be attracted to some physical characteristic of the other person, especially initially.

However, when you are looking to marry someone, you had better love them for more than just their body, because they could lose that body. The woman whose big breasts you love could get breast cancer and need a mastectomy. Or pregnancy or age could cause changes in her shape. You will need to love her just the same if she no longer has big, beautiful breasts.

Most of us end up falling in love with the person, and that’s how we continue to love the other person when their looks change due to age, health and a lot of other bodily conditions.

In addition, I’ve known a lot of women with big breasts (including myself) and most of them (including myself) would be very turned off by a guy who seemed to be seeing us primarily as a pair of breasts, rather than as a person, who might happen to have nice breasts.
 
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