Sexual fetishes

[Rence]

So me, in all my hyper-nerd glory, just had to look it up on webster.com. Here it is:

FETISH

So the meaning really is something that is immoral. Especially the sexuality side

Thank you for looking that up I wonder if the OP knows that definition? Where are you Traditional1? Are we helping you any or making it more confusing?

But IMOHO, you still have to take it in context. I’d be hard pressed to believe that if a man cannot achieve sexual gratification unless his wife is wearing 5 inch spiked heels, that it is “immoral”. He may need to talk to a counseler about the problem of not being able to achieve sexual gratification without his wife wearing 5 inch spiked heels, but I don’t think it’s immoral or evil. But everyone is entitled to their opinion and taking everyone’s opinion together gives the OP more to work with and think about so he can sort out his problem. A Priest would probably be the final authority though and if not, can direct him to someone in the diocese that can. Especially since we don’t know what his fetish is, in addition to the fact that in general, people use the word casually and not clinically - at least in MY particular life experiences they do. He might think he has a fetish, when in fact, he just obtains arousal by what he thinks is his “fetish”.

Traditional1, please talk to your priest so that you have the opportunity to fully disclose your situation, and get the counseling you need.

 

[Rence]

I’ve got to stop trying to multitask… sorry about that!

In any case a preference that becomes a fetish is indeed disordered, and a preference exercised outside the marital act, or within the marital act in a manner that is not respectful of one’s spouse, is sinful.

Actually like homosexuality it isn’t the fetish that’s sinful, but it’s acting upon it.

Absolutely I agree with that.

 

[OraLabora]

Thank you for looking that up I wonder if the OP knows that definition? Where are you Traditional1? Are we helping you any or making it more confusing?

But IMOHO, you still have to take it in context. I’d be hard pressed to believe that if a man cannot achieve sexual gratification unless his wife is wearing 5 inch spiked heels, that it is “immoral”. He may need to talk to a counseler about the problem of not being able to achieve sexual gratification without his wife wearing 5 inch spiked heels, but I don’t think it’s immoral or evil. But everyone is entitled to their opinion and taking everyone’s opinion together gives the OP more to work with and think about so he can sort out his problem. A Priest would probably be the final authority though and if not, can direct him to someone in the diocese that can. Especially since we don’t know what his fetish is, in addition to the fact that in general, people use the word casually and not clinically - at least in MY particular life experiences they do. He might think he has a fetish, when in fact, he just obtains arousal by what he thinks is his “fetish”.

Traditional1, please talk to your priest so that you have the opportunity to fully disclose your situation, and get the counseling you need.

I think if the 5 inch spiked heels are needed to complete the marital act in the normal manner, and his wife is cooperative, it’s a grey area, I would say, a functional impairment but not one that is necessarily a mortal sin.

If the fetish though, only allows gratification outside of the marital act, that’s clearly a serious problem.

However, I’m not so sure that these are “sins” as much as psychological difficulties. Or rather the psychological difficulties may mitigate the degree of culpability.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

What is the Catholic Teaching regarding different sexual fetishes and those who practice it? Is it a sin to have one or many?

I have a question regarding a specific sexual fetish.

I have had an arousal of a sexual nature for plush toys and have given up this “fetish” recently. I know other people with the same “fetish” and talk regularly to them.

As I don’t need my collection anymore, I was thinking of destroying them but some items are rare collector’s items and are valued highly.

My question is that would it be moral to give my toys to my friends who are still in practice of this “fetish” (and then I would support them in committing sin)? Or should I rather destroy my collection?

Thank you!

I think he said his fetish is plush toys.

Sounds like that isn’t really an appropriate means of sexual gratification.

I think that there are two seperate “fetish” questions inside of this thread.

@traditional 1 - I think that with a sexual fetish you need to look at the what the fetish. If you have a fetish for a particular part of the body (feet, ears, etc) and this is a part of the marital act that is not offensive to either party and does not objectify either party, I think that it could be safe. But, you really must be aware of the intent with the fetish and how this fetish relates to your spouse and your sexual relationship.

@grabowski - “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off… If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out…” (parts taken from Mt 5:29&30)

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Everything posted so far on this thread, is so MILD, that I think a discussion of scrupulosity is in order.

A fetish, to be a REAL fetish would probably need to be “engaged in” as a three-some or something similar. Or part of a “self-abuse” ritual.

These examples presented here could easily be used by the wife to … enhance … the foreplay, teasing, part of their marriage. Unless the OP believes that husband and wife should be fully dressed in order to engage in “marital relations”.

Lighten up.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

So preferring your spouse in lace (hopefully preferring your wife in lace )

http://bestsmileys.com/lol/18.gif

 

[Monte_RCMS]

http://bestsmileys.com/lol/18.gif

Oh, phooey, the quote didn’t make it through.

BUT, yes, the lace and the 5" heels and maybe a few other things as well.

Very amusing; creates smiles; and enthusiasm.

[Better let it stay with that and not take it any farther.]

 

[The_Otaku]

I have a question regarding a specific sexual fetish.

I have had an arousal of a sexual nature for plush toys and have given up this “fetish” recently. I know other people with the same “fetish” and talk regularly to them.

As I don’t need my collection anymore, I was thinking of destroying them but some items are rare collector’s items and are valued highly.

My question is that would it be moral to give my toys to my friends who are still in practice of this “fetish” (and then I would support them in committing sin)? Or should I rather destroy my collection?

Thank you!

Hello. I don’t know who you’re asking this question to, but I’ll assume for the sake of trying to help you here that it was open to anyone to answer.

First, if you didn’t read my posts above, please do so. I know they are long winded (and have thus far been avoided since no one has commented on them), but I have alot of experience with this, and my insights may help you, as they come from someone with a fetish.

Second, to answer your question, I would say that NO, it is not moral, because you are giving them to people whom you know would use them for sexual gratification of some kind or other. You’re providing them with an occasion of sin. I would say destroy them, just so you can go through the process of mentally releasing yourself from them. If you can’t do this, and you kept the plushies in good condition and they’re worth money, then perhaps you could sell them and then give the money to charity or to the collection at the next mass.

That’s what I would do.

Third, congrats on overcoming your fetish. I feel that people that are still responding to this thread since your original bump are not getting it and are taking shots in the dark, though some of them are closer than others. I say this not to be superior, but I don’t feel they can truly ‘get it’, beyond a mere definition until they have one (a fetish) and know what it feels like to have one and have to deal with it. Making light of the topic is proof it is not understood or appreciated. Congrats on the achievement, and I hope you find an answer to your concern.

God bless.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

I did some internet research and plush toys did not appear on any of the descriptions of fetishes.

I think you are pulling our legs. Figuratively speaking.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

I did some internet research and plush toys did not appear on any of the descriptions of fetishes.

I think you are pulling our legs. Figuratively speaking.

uh…google?

from associatedcontent.com/article/703251/top_10_weird_sexual_fetishes_and_paraphilias.html

Plushophilia

Perhaps liking one of your stuffed animals a little too much as a child can lead to this fetish. It is being sexually attracted to stuffed animals or people dressed in animal costumes. Some plushophiles like to masturbate using small stuffed animals, and some like to dress up in costumes and have sex with others wearing costumes. Someone who is into bestiality, but doesn’t want to actually have sex with animals could also enjoy this fetish.

It’s real.

 

[OraLabora]

uh…google?

from associatedcontent.com/article/703251/top_10_weird_sexual_fetishes_and_paraphilias.html

It’s real.

I’d heard of it before too.

Amazing what turns some people on.

And here I was thinking a little lace on my wife was kinky

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

I’d heard of it before too.

Amazing what turns some people on.

And here I was thinking a little lace on my wife was kinky

hahaha. I read this article on oddee a while back that listed a top 10 thing. There was one with people who lofe the feel of wool. They make whole body suits that cover even their head with wool.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

[furby costumes for H & W???]
:blushing:

 

[Andry]

Dear all i am sorry to disappoint you but my catholic indoctrination has led me to a serious sense of guilt and low esteem that are resulting in serious need of fetishes in order to be able to procreate with my wife.

I will try to raise my children aware of their sex and all the different possibilities it may lead them to. Wether they will be gay or not, in order to never feel inadequate or wrong at the eyes of God. This is the way i will love them (still too young now) and i am sure that this will perfectly fit in the plan of God.

I hope that all of you who’ll read this, will take it as consideration, no matter what your local priests says. Think of your children, don’t let them grow inadequate.

 

[SMGS127]

Dear all i am sorry to disappoint you but my catholic indoctrination has led me to a serious sense of guilt and low esteem that are resulting in serious need of fetishes in order to be able to procreate with my wife.

I will try to raise my children aware of their sex and all the different possibilities it may lead them to. Wether they will be gay or not, in order to never feel inadequate or wrong at the eyes of God. This is the way i will love them (still too young now) and i am sure that this will perfectly fit in the plan of God.

I hope that all of you who’ll read this, will take it as consideration, no matter what your local priests says. Think of your children, don’t let them grow inadequate.

Are you suggesting as a Catholic that you will raise your kids in the belief that homosexual behavior is okay? Certainly you can teach them that if they have same-sex attractions, that is normal, but don’t normalize something that is clearly sinful .

With that said, teaching your kids about sex in general is your prerogative and responsibility as a parent; I cannot stand in your way. Just know that the Catholic idea of sex isn’t “it’s bad” as many people (including, it sounds like, you) tend to think of it. Teach your kids that it’ll be okay to explore their sexuality in the context of their marriage when that day comes . Teaching chastity does not mean teaching that sex is bad at all times, even during marriage.

 

[andrewstx]

A little lace on the other hand…

Aha, now I finally understand the preference some traditionalists have for what I call neglige (sp) surplices and albs. They are nearly nothing but lace!

Relax I am just kidding

 

[Andry]

Are you suggesting as a Catholic that you will raise your kids in the belief that homosexual behavior is okay? Certainly you can teach them that if they have same-sex attractions, that is normal, but don’t normalize something that is clearly sinful .

I do not think that sex is wrong and i will teach my kids how love and sex function.

What is sure is that i will never be so presumptuous to teach my kids that being gay is sinful. I will let the judgment only in the hands of God and will raise open minded kids. It is in fact sinful to judge people and not to love all of our brothers wether they are gay or not.

Homosexuality exists and i may not promise that my kids will not be. I am ready for that and i would not act as many, unfortunately, friends of mine have done with their kids, turning their life into hell when facing their homosexuality.

God has given us the chance of choosing our path and only once we will be standing in front of him we will pay for our sins. Our faith comes to a hard proof when we need to face gay marriage for example. This proof will strenghten our faith, infact i do not agree with all governments who forbid gay marriage.

It’s a sick attitude that pretends to substitute the will of God and makes us his competitors. The Church shall not influence governments, it can, though, help all of those who feel threatened by gay marriage, who need help because apparently they are weak believers.

I enjoy sex with my wife and i am thankful to her to be loving and caring, able to love me also in the unconventional ways and i asked her to.

 

[jimmy]

I’ve got to stop trying to multitask… sorry about that!

In any case a preference that becomes a fetish is indeed disordered, and a preference exercised outside the marital act, or within the marital act in a manner that is not respectful of one’s spouse, is sinful.

Actually like homosexuality it isn’t the fetish that’s sinful, but it’s acting upon it.

Is there any room for play, or is it strict business? If a preference that becomes a fetish is disordered, where is there room for freedom and play? Does a couple follow a strict set of rules on how to do it? A strict position? A strict tempo? It must be done at the pace of a slow waltz?

I understand and agree that sadomasochism is disgusting and evil, but is it really disordered to play dressup? There are certain things that shouldn’t be done, no matter what. But there are also many things that are neutral.