Sexual Impurification

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jart
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Jart

Guest
I recently stumbled on these forums the other day because I needed some advice. I am a 17 y/o male and I feel like I am addicted to “sexually impurifing myself.” I want and really try to stop doing this. I pray and pray for strength to stop but it doesn’t seem to be working. I just really want to quit this because I know it is wrong but the temptations are too strong. I don’t know what to do… 😦
 
Have hope, you are not alone in this struggle and there are many people here who have good advice for you. My suggestion would be to read the thread at the top of the moral theology section that says “List of sites for battling Impurity”. There are many good suggestions there.
 
I recently stumbled on these forums the other day because I needed some advice. I am a 17 y/o male and I feel like I am addicted to “sexually impurifing myself.” I want and really try to stop doing this. I pray and pray for strength to stop but it doesn’t seem to be working. I just really want to quit this because I know it is wrong but the temptations are too strong. I don’t know what to do… 😦
God bless you for posting and asking 🙂

Here are some tips:
You will need to pray for, and receive the Lord’s Grace.
Use the sacraments:
Go to confession and go receive communion.
then, make a point of going to frequent (Dailny) Mass.

Then firmly resolve to quit. Pray the act of contrition again, meaning it when you say that “I’ll aviod all occasions that lead me to sin”
And then…here’s the important part.

Choose a confessor and stick with him. Confess to the same priest every time. Preferrably someone you know, and that can recognise your voice, if you are not doing face-to face confessions already. This is very important

And resolve to go to confession as soon as possible after you stumbled.
This is always a good practice to follow…to go to confession the very next morning, even on the way to work so as not to walk around with that stain of mortal sin on your soul.

You have just promised the Lord, but it is quite difficult to keep that promise in itself, since we cannot see God, so there is not that physical reminder.
But if you know that you’ll have to go to the same priest in the morning and he will be disappointed in you, you will remember how it felt confessing the same thing last time…that feeling of guilt and shame will start to preceed the act and keep you from it.
If that is not enough, get an “accountability Partner” that you have to tell or report to daily.
This is crucial.
Sexual sins are usually done in secret, so there is no accountability, make yourself responsible to someone else.

Pray and use the Sacraments!

PM
 
Thank you for the responses! PM that is some great advice and I am going to start doing that right away. It’s going to be hard but I’m going to try my best. 😃 Thank you!
 
Thank you for the responses! PM that is some great advice and I am going to start doing that right away. It’s going to be hard but I’m going to try my best. 😃 Thank you!
You are very welcome! I’ll be praying for you.

Remember - Acconutability, responsibility, love for God. These things will help you turn it around.

Oh, I forgot to add:

Also try to remove the occasions to sin from your surroundings…be it that you have to cancel your cable subscription, put blockers onto your computer’s web browser, do whatever it takes, be ruthless with yourself and be brutally honest.

You have to be looking at yourself very honestly when you start this road, and when you put these measures in place.
You need to find that little place deep down where, when you install the blocker, or take the steps, the voice says" We can always do this and this to get around that". Find that voice, and take steps to eliminate that back door.
You have to be ruthless.

It’s going to take a while, keep working at it, don’t loose hope! There are countless men that has defeated the addiction!

Take care and good luck!

PM.
 
I was just thinking you are probably living at home with your family still. Is there any chance you could open up to your father or mother about this?

My husband had this same addiction and he only overcame it through complete honesty to himself and others. He came clean to me and also told his family about his “addiction”. Because he was honest with me I was able to help him by making our home a very pure environment. Before I knew about how these things tempted him I wasn’t as careful about what movies we rented, what magazines were left around ext…
As a woman, these things just didn’t affect me in the same way.

Once I realized how these things affected him we cancelled our cable, put internet blocker on the computer and threw away any flyers or magazines that might be temptations. When we rent movies we always look them up on a christian site first so we know which ones are suitable to rent.

Anyway, I only suggest telling someone in your family because then they could support you in your efforts to keep your home free of temptation. I realize this wouldn’t be easy, it was very difficult for my husband. It did however help him a lot.
 
Anyway, I only suggest telling someone in your family because then they could support you in your efforts to keep your home free of temptation. I realize this wouldn’t be easy, it was very difficult for my husband. It did however help him a lot.
Great idea! 👍

It is a very hard step to take tough, but it’s such great help and support 🙂

PM
 
Yeah I still live with my parents. Telling them that would be reaally hard for me. If I told my Dad he would probably tell me it was OK to do that. These tempations happen very often. Like you mentioned about magazines and TV we have magazines EVERYWHERE. The tv is always on and I leave the room but I can still hear it from across the house. There’s always something sexual on TV I see from time to time even if it’s just kissing and touching. My grandma is staying in my room so I sleep in the living room so I have no where to hide from all this. I can’t wait until I move out and not have to deal with all this ****. I don’t know what my mom would do if I tried to throw her hundreds of magazines away. I’ve tried. Also I am not close enough to anyone who knows a lot about their faith. I say that because my mom for example found porn in my brothers room. It didn’t bother her. My Dad doesn’t even understand what a mortal sin is. That’s why I thought PM’s idea about going to the same Priest regulary was such a good idea.
 
Yeah I still live with my parents. Telling them that would be reaally hard for me. If I told my Dad he would probably tell me it was OK to do that. These tempations happen very often. Like you mentioned about magazines and TV we have magazines EVERYWHERE. The tv is always on and I leave the room but I can still hear it from across the house. There’s always something sexual on TV I see from time to time even if it’s just kissing and touching. My grandma is staying in my room so I sleep in the living room so I have no where to hide from all this. I can’t wait until I move out and not have to deal with all this ****. I don’t know what my mom would do if I tried to throw her hundreds of magazines away. I’ve tried. Also I am not close enough to anyone who knows a lot about their faith. I say that because my mom for example found porn in my brothers room. It didn’t bother her. My Dad doesn’t even understand what a mortal sin is. That’s why I thought PM’s idea about going to the same Priest regulary was such a good idea.
That is really too bad. I’m sad to hear that your family doesn’t take sexual purity very seriously, but at the same time you should be so proud that you are trying to overcome this anyway.

There are books on sexual addiction, I’d have to ask my husband if he could reccomend one, but perhaps you could do some reading and ask your Mom to do so as well.If she knew more about the seriousness of this type of addiction maybe she would be willing to throw out magazines ext… Alot of people in our society, especially women, don’t know how serious this addiction can be and how common it is becoming.

I certainly had no idea before my husband came clean with me. I always thought pornograghy was gross and knew it was wrong but it was only when I saw how it had injured my husband and how it threatened our family life and marriage that I realized just how evil it was.I also read books written by the wives of sexual addicts. This made me realize the horrible affects that our society’s poor view of sexuality is having on families.

Your Mom, especially if your Dad isn’t a Catholic, probably just doesn’t know how to deal with this stuff. If you let her know that this stuff really bothers you, even if you can’t tell her the whole story, she might listen. You might even be a really good influence on your brother or father.

I know my husband’s addiction, although it was very hurtfull to deal with, has resulted in a deepening of our faith. I definately understand and value the virtues of chastity and purity much more now.

If you can’t change your environment or let your family know, don’t give up. Make a firm resolve not to take the first step toward sinning. Don’t even touch magazines or flyers. Just say I’m not even going to take a chance by picking that up. If there are immodest pictures on the front, try flipping the mag over or putting something on top of it.

With TV, try to watch as little as possible. My husband found exercise really helpfull. Instead of watching TV, resolve to start running or weight lifting or playing a sport. Fight the desire for what isn’t good for you, with doing something that is.

I was thinking that you could ask the priest if he knows anyone who could be an accountability partner for you. He may know a man in your church who could give you support and understand your temptations.

Anyway, one step at time. Like I said earlier, have hope. The longer my husband stays free from sin, the easier it has become for him. Where as once he was in the habit of always looking, he is now in the habit of always looking away and most importantly taking it day by day and asking for Jesus’ strength instead of depending on his own.

We will pray for you and your family.
 
I just have to say that it really impresses me that you are working so hard to be pure when your family and friends aren’t on the same boat. That’s a hard cross to carry! It’s obvious Jesus is at your side helping you with this burden, and He is desiring to pour even more graces upon you. God bless you!
 
I just have to say that it really impresses me that you are working so hard to be pure when your family and friends aren’t on the same boat. That’s a hard cross to carry! It’s obvious Jesus is at your side helping you with this burden, and He is desiring to pour even more graces upon you. God bless you!
👍
 
Yes, I do believe Jesus is at my side. I have to say a few years ago I wasn’t like this. I was a HUGE sinner and didn’t care. Addicted to porn, black clothes and heavy metal (No longer like that). It was like that until I started praying. Now I get depressed when I sin and know that I hurt God. That would be great if you could recommend a book Hopefull Mom. I am thinking on getting a book about it and also Theology of the Body I believe is the name by Pope John Paul II. Something interesting happened yesterday… I asked for God to tell me something he wanted me to know and I opened my Bible. First page I opened it up to was Leviticus 22:4 but I didn’t know what it meant:
  1. Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying,
  2. "Tell Aaron and his sons to be careful with the holy gifts of the sons of Israel, which they dedicate to Me, so as not to profane My holy name; I am the LORD.
  3. "Say to them, `If any man among all your descendants throughout your generations approaches the holy gifts which the sons of Israel dedicate to the LORD, while he has an uncleanness, that person shall be cut off from before Me; I am the LORD.
  4. `No man of the descendants of Aaron, who is a leper or who has a discharge, may eat of the holy gifts until he is clean. And if one touches anything made unclean by a corpse or if a man has a seminal emission,
  5. or if a man touches any teeming things by which he is made unclean, or any man by whom he is made unclean, whatever his uncleanness;
  6. a person who touches any such shall be unclean until evening, and shall not eat of the holy gifts unless he has bathed his body in water.
I’m still confused.
 
Try and not be too scrupulous. Yes you have to overcome these temptations which result in sin. But always know that God is on your side. He doesn’t want us to fall. He’s constantly cheering you on and knows your struggles better than you do. He loves you because He ***is ***love. Keep up in confession and don’t despair over this. Many, if not almost all, men struggle with this at some point in their lives. Just pray, receive the Sacraments and relax, even when you fail. I can see your hurt and perseverance. Imagine how much more infinitely God can…Pray for me as I will for you…🙂
 
Yes, I do believe Jesus is at my side. I have to say a few years ago I wasn’t like this. I was a HUGE sinner and didn’t care. Addicted to porn, black clothes and heavy metal (No longer like that). It was like that until I started praying. Now I get depressed when I sin and know that I hurt God. That would be great if you could recommend a book Hopefull Mom. I am thinking on getting a book about it and also Theology of the Body I believe is the name by Pope John Paul II. Something interesting happened yesterday… I asked for God to tell me something he wanted me to know and I opened my Bible. First page I opened it up to was Leviticus 22:4 but I didn’t know what it meant:
  1. Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying,
  2. "Tell Aaron and his sons to be careful with the holy gifts of the sons of Israel, which they dedicate to Me, so as not to profane My holy name; I am the LORD.
  3. "Say to them, `If any man among all your descendants throughout your generations approaches the holy gifts which the sons of Israel dedicate to the LORD, while he has an uncleanness, that person shall be cut off from before Me; I am the LORD.
  4. `No man of the descendants of Aaron, who is a leper or who has a discharge, may eat of the holy gifts until he is clean. And if one touches anything made unclean by a corpse or if a man has a seminal emission,
  5. or if a man touches any teeming things by which he is made unclean, or any man by whom he is made unclean, whatever his uncleanness;
  6. a person who touches any such shall be unclean until evening, and shall not eat of the holy gifts unless he has bathed his body in water.
I’m still confused.
Well, you would have to ask a priest to enterpret that for you. I don’t know what it means either. The Old Testiment is very complicated and hard to understand. I think it requires background knowledge to really get the full meaning. I suppose most books are difficult to read if you just pick a section in the middle and read it. My guess is this has to do with Mosaic law, but more than that I do not know.

As far as reading Theology of the Body, you may want to start with an introductory type book. I have never read the actual text myself, but was told it is heavy reading. Christopher West writes simplified books on the topic, though, which are very good and easy to read. Here is a link to his site.

christopherwest.com/

If you click on store and then books, the books he has written will pop up. Also if you click on articles there are lots of great articles you can read to get a feel for what is in his books.

You may have looked at this already but if you read through this thread there is good advice and a lot of resources/links ext…

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=55427
 
And if one touches anything made unclean by a corpse or if a man has a seminal emission,

I’m still confused.
Remember that the Book of Leviticus is a part of the Torah or the Books of the Law. If what you have highlighted qbove was to be taken literally as an offense to God then no relations between a husband and wife could ever take place. Know what the Church teaches about human sexuality and its proper context but be careful when using Scripture because if it’s taken out of context it can be very misleading and removes the true message of God. Jesus came to fulfill these laws and His is the law of love. Jesus loves you and all of your faults. He died for you because you are not perfect. Ask for forgiveness and rest assured in His mercy.’’’’'God Bless
 
I recommend Love and Responsibility. It was written by Pope JP II before he became pope.
 
I recently stumbled on these forums the other day because I needed some advice. I am a 17 y/o male and I feel like I am addicted to “sexually impurifing myself.” I want and really try to stop doing this. I pray and pray for strength to stop but it doesn’t seem to be working. I just really want to quit this because I know it is wrong but the temptations are too strong. I don’t know what to do… 😦
 
I’ve taken some advice here and have been trying to go to daily mass. I confessed and fell. I confessed again…and fell. I think this may have to do with my age and hormones but I’m being tempted most of my day. It is always on my mind. It takes very little of anything to remind me of sex to get me in the mood. I’ll admit even men… especially the ones I admire and want to look like when I am older. And when I say it’s on my mind most of the day, I mean about 60-70% of the day. I tried exercising a little more but that energy is still there afterword… Basically what I am trying to say is that sexual energy is always there and I frequently “leak” if I don’t “release.” My question is this because of my age and hormones and will it slow down as I get a little older? I heard that it should have slowed down by age 17 but I am almost 18 now.
 
I’m not male, and I’m not 17, but I do know the feeling. It does sound like your hormones are going crazy, though, so I don’t think you should be too hard on yourself. God knows your heart, and that you’re trying to follow His commands. If you give in, know that He loves you and will forgive you as soon as you ask for it in confession.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top