Sexual questions

[lookoutlt]

I have several questions concerning the sexual relationship between husband and wife. I have attempted to speak with a priest in the past however, he himself admitted that he was not well versed in this area. These are very embarresing questions and I have searched for answers from several sources and some either do not clarify enough for me or they do not answer at all. I would like to know 1) is a sin to have marital relations while the woman is menstrating 2) is it a sin to utilize “toys” in the marital sexual relationship and 3) is oral sex a sin even if it does not lead to the marital act of sex. My husband is not Catholic and is younger than I, we are unfortunatly unable to have children unless the Lord does see fit to bless us, but I am so confussed on some of these topics and I just want plain answers that I can understand. Please help me to understand more clearly the churchs teaching on these issues.

Thank you and God Bless

 

[DexUK]

I have several questions concerning the sexual relationship between husband and wife. I have attempted to speak with a priest in the past however, he himself admitted that he was not well versed in this area. These are very embarresing questions and I have searched for answers from several sources and some either do not clarify enough for me or they do not answer at all. I would like to know 1) is a sin to have marital relations while the woman is menstrating 2) is it a sin to utilize “toys” in the marital sexual relationship and 3) is oral sex a sin even if it does not lead to the marital act of sex. My husband is not Catholic and is younger than I, we are unfortunatly unable to have children unless the Lord does see fit to bless us, but I am so confussed on some of these topics and I just want plain answers that I can understand. Please help me to understand more clearly the churchs teaching on these issues.

Thank you and God Bless

1. No, not sinful. The act is ordered towards the creation of children. Who knows exactly what will happen. Menstruation isn’t totally predictable, so as long as the married couple are willing to risk the consequence - pregnancy, childbirth, etc - and will love and nurture any child that does result, then no problem.
2. Depends. Where it is to the detriment or replacement of the marital act, then probably not advisable. Where it augments and increases the pleasure and the love within an act that ends up in being open to procreation, then probably not a problem, unless there is an unhealthy obsession with the means rather than the ends.
3. As with toys, oral sex as foreplay leading to the procreative act, then that’s ok. As a replacement deliberately designed to avoid the procreative act - i.e as defacto contraception, then probably not so much…

Basically, so long as you’re open to the possibility of children and your bedroom endeavours do not, ultimately, get in the way of that then relax, have fun, love each other, and let the Lord work within the both of you to increase the love you have for one another and give thanks to Him for that love.

 

[prstoessel]

1. No, not sinful. The act is ordered towards the creation of children. Who knows exactly what will happen. Menstruation isn’t totally predictable, so as long as the married couple are willing to risk the consequence - pregnancy, childbirth, etc - and will love and nurture any child that does result, then no problem.
2. Depends. Where it is to the detriment or replacement of the marital act, then probably not advisable. Where it augments and increases the pleasure and the love within an act that ends up in being open to procreation, then probably not a problem, unless there is an unhealthy obsession with the means rather than the ends.
3. As with toys, oral sex as foreplay leading to the procreative act, then that’s ok. As a replacement deliberately designed to avoid the procreative act - i.e as defacto contraception, then probably not so much…

Basically, so long as you’re open to the possibility of children and your bedroom endeavours do not, ultimately, get in the way of that then relax, have fun, love each other, and let the Lord work within the both of you to increase the love you have for one another and give thanks to Him for that love.

After that answer, the thread just needs to be closed. Excellent.

 

[OrangeOwl]

1. No, not sinful. The act is ordered towards the creation of children. Who knows exactly what will happen. Menstruation isn’t totally predictable, so as long as the married couple are willing to risk the consequence - pregnancy, childbirth, etc - and will love and nurture any child that does result, then no problem.
2. Depends. Where it is to the detriment or replacement of the marital act, then probably not advisable. Where it augments and increases the pleasure and the love within an act that ends up in being open to procreation, then probably not a problem, unless there is an unhealthy obsession with the means rather than the ends.
3. As with toys, oral sex as foreplay leading to the procreative act, then that’s ok. As a replacement deliberately designed to avoid the procreative act - i.e as defacto contraception, then probably not so much…

Basically, so long as you’re open to the possibility of children and your bedroom endeavours do not, ultimately, get in the way of that then relax, have fun, love each other, and let the Lord work within the both of you to increase the love you have for one another and give thanks to Him for that love.

Well, I was under the impression that oral sex (and toys?) was only permissible as foreplay prior to the actual marital embrace, in which completion of the act occurred. Not simply that it wasn’t “advisable.” The actual terminology and sequencing… I’ll leave to those more versed in Theology of the Body than I.

I would also think that you’d have to ask yourself if these “toys” took away from dignity of the husband or wife, and treated him/her more like an object for gratification. Again terminology, I’ll leave to others.

 

[lookoutlt]

Thanks everyone for the great answers, I truely have been wondering about some of these things and though I love my husband he can sometimes make it tough on me to answer his questions, especially when I can’t find answers. These were not topics covered in our marriage encounter weekend. Thank you again, it has all been very helpful and I feel much better now. :thankyou: