Sexual Relations and Birth Control

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CatherineofA

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With Southern Baptists, sexual relations within marriage is considered a gift from God and there aren’t any restrictions. This includes the use of artificial birth control because procreation is not seen as the only reason for sexual relations.

These are my questions-
  1. How does a Catholic keep their mind free from worry and from being mentally distracted during the marriage act if artificial birth control is prohibited?
  2. How many Catholics do you think actually follow the ban on artificial birth control?
  3. When did this idea start since most artificial methods are less then 100 years old?
 
CatherineofA said:
With Southern Baptists, sexual relations within marriage is considered a gift from God and there aren’t any restrictions. This includes the use of artificial birth control because procreation is not seen as the only reason for sexual relations.

These are my questions-
  1. How does a Catholic keep their mind free from worry and from being mentally distracted during the marriage act if artificial birth control is prohibited?
  2. How many Catholics do you think actually follow the ban on artificial birth control?
  3. When did this idea start since most artificial methods are less then 100 years old?
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Catholics agree that procreation is not the only reason for sexual relations. We believe sex is both unitive and procreative. Artificial contraception separates those two aspects, and that is the problem.
  1. Catholics are allowed to use Natural Family Planning for just cause.
  2. How many Catholics actually follow the ban on lying? On stealing? The fact that people break a moral law doesn’t disprove the moral law. Luckily, the Church isn’t a museum of saints, it’s a hospital for sinners.
  3. Genesis 38:9 recounts the sin of Onan (which is where we get the word onanism), which consisted of separating the unitive and procreative aspects of sex. That’s what artifical contraception does.
Incidentally, no church accepted artificial contracpetion until 1930. The Anglican Church had declared it immoral at its 1920 Lambeth conference, but ten years later, reversed position, becoming the first church to endorse artifical contraception.
 
CatherineofA said:
With Southern Baptists, sexual relations within marriage is considered a gift from God and there aren’t any restrictions. This includes the use of artificial birth control because procreation is not seen as the only reason for sexual relations.
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It’s strange you used the word “restrictions.” Using artificial birth control is indeed a restriction.
CatherineofA said:
These are my questions-
  1. How does a Catholic keep their mind free from worry and from being mentally distracted during the marriage act if artificial birth control is prohibited?
  2. How many Catholics do you think actually follow the ban on artificial birth control?
  3. When did this idea start since most artificial methods are less then 100 years old?
Click to expand...
1. Using artificial contraception would be a restriction in a marriage. So by using it, the mind would not be free from worry. There is something being held back from the marital act. It is not a true union of the two in the act.
The Church is not against using natural means for postponing a pregnancy. With Natural Family Planning there is no chance that a life can be aborted. Using the birth control pill can lead to an early abortion. It also has many side effects that can be bad for our health. Natural Family Planning has a 99.9% accuracy rate. That is better than the pill and no side effects. I don’t see how anyone using the “pill” can keep their mind free from worry. I believe it’s a huge restriction to use any kind of artificial contraception. NFP can also be used to achieve a pregnancy.

2. There are many Catholics who use artificial contraception. Perhaps some of them are not aware that using AC is wrong. Perhaps many of them know it is wrong but tell themselves that they’ll stop “tomorrow” and “tomorrow” never comes. Perhaps some of them do not know about Natural Family Planning and that it is more effective than the “pill” and that it can bring them closer together as a couple in a sacred marriage.

Just because there are many Catholics who use artificial contraception does not make it right. The Church isn’t suddenly going to say, “oh my, since many Catholics are using it, why don’t we just establish that it is now okay to use it.”

3. I don’t quite understand your question. When did the idea of using birth control start? Way back. I mean way waaaayyyy back, in the bible.

Or did you mean, when did the Church say that it was wrong to use artificial contraception? In that case, it was also “way back.” In fact, the Church has said it was wrong since the beginning. God said it was wrong in the bible.

All protestant denominations agreed that artificial contraception was wrong. It wasn’t until 1930 that a protestant denomination said it was okay. The first to be the Anglican church. The domino effect followed with many denominations saying that AC was not wrong. There are many denominations however, that still say it is wrong to use artificial contraception. In fact there are many protestants who use NFP in their marriage.
 
CatherineofA said:
With Southern Baptists, sexual relations within marriage is considered a gift from God and there aren’t any restrictions. This includes the use of artificial birth control because procreation is not seen as the only reason for sexual relations.

These are my questions-
  1. How does a Catholic keep their mind free from worry and from being mentally distracted during the marriage act if artificial birth control is prohibited?
  2. How many Catholics do you think actually follow the ban on artificial birth control?
  3. When did this idea start since most artificial methods are less then 100 years old?
Click to expand...
Question one:

Yeah, it sure does make you feel close to your hubby when you are worried “did I take my pill, what about yesterday, I was so busy - but, I am sure it will be okay. Hang on a minute hubby, let me go put in this big ole huge diaphram, oh wait, we are out of spermacide jelly will you run to the store and by some so we can be intimate? Wait, what was that, did the condom slip off, it feels funny - hang on a second, lets get another”

Artificial things make romance so much more romantic, don’t cha think?

Question two: I don’t ask people about their sins, that is between them and their Priest.

Question three, you may find this article of interest:

nationallifechain.org/Contra.pdf
 
Response to the responses to question #1.

Is it possible to be “free from worry” while thinking, “If I finish up inside of my wife, am I bringing a child into the world that we cannot afford to raise?”
 
Hajnalcsillag said:
Response to the responses to question #1.

Is it possible to be “free from worry” while thinking, “If I finish up inside of my wife, am I bringing a child into the world that we cannot afford to raise?”
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If a couple cannot afford to raise another child, they are free to practice natural family planning.
 
  1. If a baby is a terrible idea right now, such that you would worry during sexual relations, you are supposed to hold off awhile until you’re both OK with a baby. If you’re OK with it but it really is a bad time, financially or physically, so you are still distracted, you practice natural family planning.
    That’s what I’ve picked up from the Family Life forum here.
  2. Around here? I think most are. But in the whole world? IDK. Some say not many, but that doesn’t affect what’s right. It’s not up to a vote. I hope most do.
  3. The Church has always opposed artificial birth control, including withdrawal. Until recent times, so did almost all Protestant denominations, including all the populous ones, and it was illegal in many places in the USA.
 
Hajnalcsillag said:
Response to the responses to question #1.

Is it possible to be “free from worry” while thinking, “If I finish up inside of my wife, am I bringing a child into the world that we cannot afford to raise?”
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If you are honestly worrying about this…why in the world are you risking sex w/ birth control? :rolleyes:

Frequent a non-Catholic site, such as a mommy site online. They all talk about the oopsies.

I was just on a mothering site where people were talking about their birth control oopsies. Some people got pregnant on the pill while using a condom.
 
CatherineofA said:
  1. How does a Catholic keep their mind free from worry and from being mentally distracted during the marriage act if artificial birth control is prohibited?
Click to expand...
Huh? Why would we be “mentally distracted?”
CatherineofA said:
  1. How many Catholics do you think actually follow the ban on artificial birth control?
Click to expand...
As for me and my house, we serve the Lord.

And so do all of my Catholic married friends.
CatherineofA said:
  1. When did this idea start since most artificial methods are less then 100 years old?
Click to expand...
The Church has taught contraception is intrinsically wrong from its beginning. You are incorrect regarding contraceptive methods being around “less than 100 years.” In fact you can find prohibitions of these types described in the bible itself when St. Paul warns against potions, in the Old Testament story of Onan, and in many writings of the early Church Fathers.

Withdrawing, contraceptive sponges with vinegar spermicide, and condoms have been around since Biblical times as have abortifacient drugs. These were all quite common in Rome. In fact, Rome’s decline and fall can be partially attributed to the widespread contraception of its pagan citizens.

Several Emporers attempted to monetarily incentify its citizens to reproduce-- to no avail. Rome had to import labor and military mercenaries-- sounds like history is repeating itself.

All of Christendom-- including Baptists-- taught contraception was immoral up until quite recently. The Reformers taught against it in the 1500s. The first church to start making “exceptions” was the Episcopal Church, only in 1930. Other denominations soon lost their way.

I suggest you read The Bible And Birth Control by Charles Provan (a non-Catholic) for a full treatment of the subject.
 
Q1. How does a Catholic keep their mind free from worry and from being mentally distracted during the marriage act if artificial birth control is prohibited?

A: we have seen very good answers posted here. I just want to add this to the discussion: how did 99-y.o. Abraham and 90-y.o. Sarah keep their minds free from worry when they were intimate, since they were old and there was no guarantee they would be around long enough to take care of their child Isaac? Perhaps they should have been scared as hell and avoided approaching each other, especially after God forewarned Abraham that in 1 year from now, Sarah will be rearing a child! 🙂

Q2. How many Catholics do you think actually follow the ban on artificial birth control?

A: I guess what really counts is not whether they are many or few, but rather that they (Catholics and non-Catholics) will be blessed by God, and will not regret in retrospect that they obeyed this teaching.

Connected to the general principle that answers the questions in this tread, the Catholic teaching on the indissociability of the unitive and procreative acts has yet another “hard” implication: that procreation without the unitive act (sexual intimacy) is also immoral, meaning that it is not OK to fertilize eggs with sperm in a test tube and create human life like that, as is being done with in vitro fertilization (IVF) - whether for the sake of making babies, or for the sake of creating embryos and destroying them during the process of embryonic stem cell research.

I personally find all of these are very hard and restrictive: to refrain from artificial birth control; to be open at all to new life when the stock market is down and the future looks bleak; not to use IVF, etc. Still I have enough confidence in the Magisterium of the Catholic Church and that all these teachings were formulated under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and that nobody who obeys them will regret in the end.
 
Joseph_L_Varga said:
Still I have enough confidence in the Magisterium of the Catholic Church and that all these teachings were formulated under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and that nobody who obeys them will regret in the end.
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I’m personally struggling very deeply with this one.

I’ve been actively involved in positively encouraging young girls to go on the pill to prevent unwanted pregnancies. These same girls may have had abortions that I supported them through previously, because of lack of knowledge about their bodies or they were just drunk/high/whatever and when sexual intercourse took place they couldnt have cared less. I also worked with young girls that were gang banged as part of some initiation or raped by their boyfriends or strangers.

It always seemed the most sensible thing to get these girls on the pill. They were sexually active and were going to stay sexually active and it made no sense these kids bringing kids into the world when they were kids themselves. They couldnt look after themselves never mind a child.

I still cant accept the idea that these girls shouldnt have access to birth control. I still cant get my head around any idea that it would be God’s blessing on these kids to get pregnant if you knew the squalid lifestyle they lived.

I have a lot of work to do within myself. 😦
 
Ag_not said:
I’m personally struggling very deeply with this one.

I’ve been actively involved in positively encouraging young girls to go on the pill to prevent unwanted pregnancies. These same girls may have had abortions that I supported them through previously, because of lack of knowledge about their bodies or they were just drunk/high/whatever and when sexual intercourse took place they couldnt have cared less. I also worked with young girls that were gang banged as part of some initiation or raped by their boyfriends or strangers.

It always seemed the most sensible thing to get these girls on the pill. They were sexually active and were going to stay sexually active and it made no sense these kids bringing kids into the world when they were kids themselves. They couldnt look after themselves never mind a child.

I still cant accept the idea that these girls shouldnt have access to birth control. I still cant get my head around any idea that it would be God’s blessing on these kids to get pregnant if you knew the squalid lifestyle they lived.

I have a lot of work to do within myself. 😦
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I believe emergency contraception is acceptable for rape victims in the first few hours, before the ferrtilization takes place, but that’s from a dimming memory of something that was posted in Moral Theology a year or so ago.
I’m not totally a stranger to that life and I wouldn’t be as scared of life beginning early as of life ending early – in some girls’ cases I’ve seen, actually having a child saved their lives, though of course it’s not the best way to get a wake-up call to get out of the crazy life.😦 I consider someone who has already been raped by someone who is still around her to be battered, rather than active, and in need of much more serious intervention than contraception. If she dies of AIDS or her head is broken she will be just as dead whether she’s on the Pill or not.
 
Ag_not said:
I’m personally struggling very deeply with this one.

(…)

I have a lot of work to do within myself. 😦
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We all do. And I’m encouraged by your journey.

As for the rest… I’m not that articulate but I will try. Contraception and abortion are not good for women; not just spiritually but physically, emotionally and so on.

Can you see how contraception and abortion have hidden the crimes of others? In those cases she has done nothing wrong but everyone expects her to abort. She may not even want to but everyone around her can’t deal with her “shame”. I think of how in certain cultures if a woman is raped she brings dishonor on her family. Sometimes I think we are not that far removed from this mindset.

I understand the quick fix that contraception seems to offer. I can think of several women that have children and probably shouldn’t have. The availabilty of ontraception and abortion perpetuates their lack of self worth (thus contributing to the neglect and abuse of their children) because they make women sexually available without consequences to the jerks that will use them. They are used and discarded over and over.

The longer society relies on contraception and abortion to hide the violence and exploitation against women the longer the violence and exploitation will last. Many don’t seem to see or care about the broken hearts, ruinded reputations or shatterd dreams that sex outside of marriage leaves behind.

It is much more difficult to share the message of chastity in a world that mocks it, in a world that sells women a lie that sex means that she is loved, beautiful, desireable, popular or whatever and then yanks the rug out and she’s left feeling used, ugly and alone. She has to steel herself and not feel so she can go on.

Chastity isn’t always easy and it’s off the charts difficult for many (most?) but it’s the only thing that will perserve the wholeness of the person. When a person is hurt because of sex (due to a one night stand or rape) it hurts her sense of who she is and her value as a person.
 
CatherineofA said:
With Southern Baptists, sexual relations within marriage is considered a gift from God and there aren’t any restrictions. This includes the use of artificial birth control because procreation is not seen as the only reason for sexual relations.

It also seems that, for protestants, sexual relations outside of marriage is an unmitigated right and there seem to be no restrictions at all.

These are my questions-
  1. How does a Catholic keep their mind free from worry and from being mentally distracted during the marriage act if artificial birth control is prohibited?
That is an individual matter. The actual mindset should be the possibility of welcoming a new life into the world rather than a selfhisness based on worry or mental distraction.
  1. How many Catholics do you think actually follow the ban on artificial birth control?
Traditional Catholics and those who practice their Faith and take it seriously are the ones who follow the Church’s teachings on this subject. I can’t speak for the others. Besides, just because many Catholics may choose to use artificial birth control thereby shutting out the cooperating creating act of God certainly does not make the Church’s teaching an untruth.
  1. When did this idea start since most artificial methods are less then 100 years old?
Humankind has been practicing various forms of birth control since they found themselves on earth, especially in degenerate societies.
Click to expand...
 
Ag_not said:
I still cant accept the idea that these girls shouldnt have access to birth control. I still cant get my head around any idea that it would be God’s blessing on these kids to get pregnant if you knew the squalid lifestyle they lived.

I have a lot of work to do within myself. 😦
Click to expand...
This approach treats these girls as objects. It’s utilitarian.

You want to care for them, but you are not caring for their souls. These are children of God with innate dignity. Yet you want to reinforce that they are objects for sexual use. Just get on the Pill and it will be “ok”. Go have all the sex in the world, just don’t get pregnant.

Care for them as *persons *and teach them about their God-given dignity and respect for their sexuality. Teach them in the ways of the Lord.

If they do become pregnant, it’s not a death sentence. There are loving families waiting to adopt, or they can choose to parent if they have support.

There are worse things than becoming pregnant-- the death of a soul is a truly terrible thing.
 
1ke said:
This approach treats these girls as objects. It’s utilitarian.

I agree - a means to an end - at least they not getting preganant was one less thing for them to worry about. That WAS my approach and thinking. Im currently working on changing that.

You want to care for them, but you are not caring for their souls.

Until a few weeks ago I didnt even know we had a soul

These are children of God with innate dignity.

I know that - now!

Yet you want to reinforce that they are objects for sexual use.

You dont know me - Im going to ignore that remark for fear of falling into my old ways !!!

Care for them as *persons *and teach them about their God-given dignity and respect for their sexuality. Teach them in the ways of the Lord.

Im not able to teach anyone yet - Im learning myself - but I will go back to working with these girls in some capacity - only it wont be to support them to have abortions or put them on birth control like I used to do

If they do become pregnant, it’s not a death sentence. There are loving families waiting to adopt, or they can choose to parent if they have support.

I realise that - now!

There are worse things than becoming pregnant-- the death of a soul is a truly terrible thing.

I realise that too - now!
Click to expand...
 
Ag_not said:
I’m personally struggling very deeply with this one.

I’ve been actively involved in positively encouraging young girls to go on the pill to prevent unwanted pregnancies. These same girls may have had abortions that I supported them through previously, because of lack of knowledge about their bodies or they were just drunk/high/whatever and when sexual intercourse took place they couldnt have cared less. I also worked with young girls that were gang banged as part of some initiation or raped by their boyfriends or strangers.

It always seemed the most sensible thing to get these girls on the pill. They were sexually active and were going to stay sexually active and it made no sense these kids bringing kids into the world when they were kids themselves. They couldnt look after themselves never mind a child.

I still cant accept the idea that these girls shouldnt have access to birth control. I still cant get my head around any idea that it would be God’s blessing on these kids to get pregnant if you knew the squalid lifestyle they lived.

I have a lot of work to do within myself. 😦
Click to expand...
You must understand that the Catholic Church is also the one that teaches that married couples with one that is infected with HIV are not to use condoms. Wouldn’t you think that the Catholic Church would understand that the primary purpose of a condom in this case is to save lives? Prolife??

Have you read about Catholic Bishop Kevin Dowling? God Bless this man!
npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5032190

God Bless!
 
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