sexual tension

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spiritblows

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Since this is anonymous I guess it’s a good place to bring up this embarrassing subject. It seems like I have a lot of innate sexual tension, with no outlet since everything is forbidden for single people and I want to obey the Church. I think it makes me sort of tense and pent up. My sexual tension isn’t neccessarily connected with lustful thoughts, but it’s physical. I think I would be calmer and more balanced if I had a satisfying sex life with a release of this tension and I think I would be nicer to my family.
 
I know where you’re coming from. It’s not always easy to be chaste. That’s why it’s a sacrifice, of course.
I find that exercise helps, or a round of enthusiastic housecleaning.
One can offer up one’s frustration, as in anything else, in reparation. There is so much misuse of this gift that reparation is always a good idea.
 
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Viki59:
I know where you’re coming from. It’s not always easy to be chaste. That’s why it’s a sacrifice, of course.
I find that exercise helps, or a round of enthusiastic housecleaning.
One can offer up one’s frustration, as in anything else, in reparation. There is so much misuse of this gift that reparation is always a good idea.
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I exercise quite a bit. Yesterday I went on a 6 mile run. Occasionally I have orgasms in my sleep I think and it seems to help. I just feel tense alot and I’m sick of no relief. My husband has been dead for 8 years. I think it’s starting to get to me.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband is alive, but unable.

Could you be suffering from a bit of depression, as well? Sounds like you have considerable responsibilities but few rewards.
Sometimes getting out with a friend cheers me up no end.
But there is a time in one’s life when Nature seems intent on pushing us to create babies whether we think it’s a good idea or not.
Later in life it cools down quite a bit. That’s no consolation, I know!
 
Actually, I think I’m starting menopause. But, I’m a lusty woman and it think it’s adding to my stress. I have a lot of kids. I really think it’s starting to affect me emotionally and mentally. I started taking St Johns Wort because I think I was a little depressed this summer. Anyways, I’m sick of being so repressed. I need physical intimacy with an attractive man or I’m going to lose it.
 
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spiritblows:
Actually, I think I’m starting menopause. But, I’m a lusty woman and it think it’s adding to my stress. I have a lot of kids. I really think it’s starting to affect me emotionally and mentally. I started taking St Johns Wort because I think I was a little depressed this summer. Anyways, I’m sick of being so repressed. I need physical intimacy with an attractive man or I’m going to lose it./QUOTE]

By being chaste you may lose your mind, but you won’t lose your soul. Please don’t give up. Do you say a daily rosary? I know many people who’ve found this to be tremendously helpful.
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The thing of it is that all this tension makes me nervous and cranky sometimes I think. I feel all pent up. It’s a physical thing, even without sinful thoughts. I wonder if there’s an herbal remedy for this? I think I would be a calmer, more patient person if I had an outlet for sexual tension. No, I haven’t been praying the rosary daily. I pray it once or twice a week.

I also wonder if I adopt a certain diet if that would calm my passions. For instance, I read a long time ago that certain Hindu masters advocate a meatless diet, no spicy foods, no stimulants such as tea or coffee. I wonder if that would help? I love my morning coffee.
 
SPiritblows, I can relate. I, too, have a high libido. In discussion with my female friends, I am always the odd person out. Many women my age-late thirties-seem indifferent to sex, I certainly am not.

My hubby is thankfully not dead, but he is occasionally sent away by the military. So, I have had periods when I went without sex. It is sooo difficult.

This might seem silly but do you have a creative outlet? I have found that drawing and writing provides me with a means to put some of that sexual energy to work.
 
Dear Deb,
I’m a highly creative person. I play music and do a multitude of projects require high levels of skill and creativity. It’s just that I feel so pent up. I can’t handle the stress of it right now, in addition to other things going on. Masturbation is out of the question, it’s a serious sin, and pretty gross anyways. I would feel too guilty about it. After I was widowed I did succumb to that temptation sometimes, but I really don’t want to go down that road again because I really do think it’s disordered. But, on the other hand, it does help a person blow off a little steam, so I can see why people think it’s acceptable.
 
I suggest you find an adoration chapel (or if there is one, a church will do- but see about finding an adoration chapel- or getting a parish to have adoration), and spend an hour praying before the Sacrament. Self-denial can be difficult at times, but Jesus said we are to deny ourselves and take up our crosses.
 
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spiritblows:
Actually, I think I’m starting menopause. But, I’m a lusty woman and it think it’s adding to my stress. I have a lot of kids. I really think it’s starting to affect me emotionally and mentally. I started taking St Johns Wort because I think I was a little depressed this summer. Anyways, I’m sick of being so repressed. I need physical intimacy with an attractive man or I’m going to lose it.
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I typically only use St Johnswort to get over the initial depression hump. It tends to give me umm…vivid dreams. I’m sure it doesn not have that effect on everyone, but, just in case, it could be part of the problem.
 
Siena said:
2 words-

Daily Mass!!!
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I do go as often as I can make it. It’s not offered regularly here, at most only on Wed, Thurs, Fri. I really got out of sync this summer because our priest was gone a lot and I really depend on daily Mass for spiritual strength. I agree, it’s very helpful. I went twice this week.
 
My heart goes out to you.

I don’t know how old you are or if you are in pre-menopause or what, but it is possible that your hormones are going through some big changes - especially if it’s during the change of life.
Some women lose much or all desire for sex - and some women experience a huge jump in libido! Husbands don’t know what hit em’! 👍
A trip to your doctor to have your hormone levels checked - and if out of balance then corrected - could be a great help.

Just a thought.

God Bless you!
 
Buy a gun and start shooting. best next best stress relief ever.

It’s so rewarding to see little orange puffs when you nail a pigeon or blow up milk jugs.
 
Hold on for just a little while longer. With menopause and loss of hormones comes the loss of sex drive. Sex will be the last thing on your mind. I know from experience. 😦
 
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Celeste88:
Hold on for just a little while longer. With menopause and loss of hormones comes the loss of sex drive. Sex will be the last thing on your mind. I know from experience. 😦
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:whistle: According to my grandma, who was in her seventies when I asked, this is not always true. She assured me that she not only thought of sex but didn’t really feel like she was older then 17 inside. I am hoping to emulate her.😃
 
You didn’t answer the question about daily Rosary. If you’re not praying the Rosary every day already, you should start. You might also consider formally consecrating yourself to Jesus through Mary, using the formula of St. Louis de Montfort.
 
You could call into Greg and Lisa Popcaks show, “Heart, Mind and Strength”. He’s a psychotherapist and they run www.exceptionalmarriages.com and they have a lot of decent advice for this kind of thing. They are on Mon-Fri. 2-3 Eastern. Their number to call in is 877-573-7825. You don’t have to be able to listen to their show to call in but if you do want to listen it is at www.avemariaradio.net . Give them a try.
 
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