"Sexual" Thoughts During Intercourse

[Oblaidon]

DO you… or HAVE you use your imagination during the Marital Act to enhance the physically pleasura
YES
NO
It’s only a sin for MEN
It’s only a sin for WOMEN
This is NOT a sin

Your poll doesn’t make sense to me. First you ask “Do you or have you use your imagination…”

Then you also giving answers to check if it is a sin or not.

You don’t specify how you use your imagination.

Answer. Uhhh, no I never use my imagination. That part of my brain has been turned off.

Why would something be a sin for men but not for women and vice versa?

Plesura? Your poll needs a little work IMHO.

 

[The_Otaku]

I’m a single, virgin, 26 year old male, but I can honestly admit that if I was having intercourse with my wife, and that particular night of love making isn’t turning out to be as pleasurable or as unitive as we would both like it to be (ie- something’s just off, not enough that we don’t want to make love, but enough that the sync isn’t there or something has confused our senses that night, whatever), then I think that in order to get the juices flowing and the lukewarm passion of the evening heated again, that it is ok to fantasize about your husband or wife, provided that the fantasy is in keeping with their actual personality and doesn’t have them doing something awful or against their nature.

If a wife would get more into the sex by imaging her husband kissing her body in ways he would normally do on a great night of love making, then that seems fine to have it. Likewise, if the wife does this thing for her husband that really turns him on, but it’s not happening this night, he might fantasize of her doing what she’d normally do. I don’t personally see a problem with imagining your spouse doing something they already would do because it’s not physically happening yet. If after the fantasies you both get more into it and things start happening like they normally do, then common sense would say you don’t need the fantasy anymore, since you’re getting the real thing.

Of course, others here have given different circumstances (like your spouse being a burn victim or extremely overweight). In cases like this, if it’s so bad that you NEVER want to have intercourse with your spouse, then I don’t think you’re obligated to even if fantasizing would be considered ok no matter what in order to make the act happen.

There’s another danger here in having sex when you don’t want to- you rob your spouse of their dignity. They know that you know you’re only having sex with them with the aid of fantasies and imagination. To have their body used in this way is just as damaging than simply not having the sex to begin with would be. You’re darned if you do and you’re darned if you don’t. If you don’t have sex, he or she feels unattractive and unworthy. If you do have sex and you’re repulsed at having to do it, then they feel the same- my husband/wife is only doing this out of pity and to try and keep the marriage bed together, but it’s just a show…they don’t want to do this and they’re forcing themselves.

It’s sad either way, but I don’t think imagination solves or answers the question, it just creates more questions. I’m not sure how to answer this any further.

 

[Island_Oak]

The “world” screams the exact opposite. The number of breast augmentations performed these days is evidence of an extremely sick and shallow society. Men who ask their wifes to have this done are jackasses and the women who comply truly pathetic in their ignorance. It is all very sad what modern culture has done to the whole God given idea of romantic intimacy. So I hear what you are saying, but not everyone at your level of spiritual maturity…

WOW…where’s all THAT hostility from? People undergo cosmetic procedures for a variety and range of reasons. Women also wear make-up, false nails, certain clothing, high heels, etc. to make themselves appear more attractive or appealing and/or to enhance what they have naturally. How one presents themselves to the world, much less one’s intimate partner is a very personal decision which is no one else’s business nor should it be uncharitably presumed that folks who chose this avenue are spiritually bankrupt.

 

[TLM08]

WOW…where’s all THAT hostility from? People undergo cosmetic procedures for a variety and range of reasons. Women also wear make-up, false nails, certain clothing, high heels, etc. to make themselves appear more attractive or appealing and/or to enhance what they have naturally. How one presents themselves to the world, much less one’s intimate partner is a very personal decision which is no one else’s business nor should it be uncharitably presumed that folks who chose this avenue are spiritually bankrupt.

Reconstructive cosmetic surgery or repairing a birth defect is perfectly fine. Make up, nails, nice hair are all fine! Even the woman who is completely flat chested might be justified in seeking an “enhancement”. My comment was directed mainly at the chimpanzees who prod their beautiful bride to the butcher’s table because her “B” or “C” cups aren’t enough for him.

This is all an outgrowth of the porn mentality that this culture has embraced. It’s sickening. As a red blooded American middle aged male, there is absolutely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight and touch of a natural woman. The morning sunrise or most spectacular sunset doesn’t even come close. It breaks my heart to see radiant young girls, middle aged single women and housewives who look wonderful just as God created them feeling like they need to turn themselves into real live blow-up dolls in order to feel valued.

 

[Island_Oak]

…This is all an outgrowth of the porn ,mentality that this culture has embraced. It’s sickening. As a red blooded American middle aged male, there is absolutely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight and touch of a natural woman. The morning sunrise or most spectacular sunset doesn’t even come close. It breaks my heart to see radiant young girls, middle aged single women and housewives who look wonderful just as God created them feeling like they need to turn themselves into real live blow-up dolls in order to feel valued.

All well, good and mildly interesting. But who exactly died and appointed you Beauty Czar? Where do you get off assuming women do this only at the beckoning of men and not for their own reasons? A confident woman has no problem stating what she wants or finding the means to get it. Does it occur to you that “porn” has far less to do with the desireability and accessibility of cosmetic surgery than the dramatic advancements in the field over the past 30 years? Is it meaningful at all that a large percentage of practitioners are now themselves women? As for your broken heart…spare yourself and us the dramatics. Those of us who have no issue chosing to utilize this field of medicine to maintain or enhance our appearance aren’t looking for sympathy~we look far too good to be pitied!!

 

[fbl9]

regarding the question of HAVING to use imagination to acheive pleasure…what in the case (ultra rare so i am told) that the man’s wife is done and the man still has lots of energy,he knows his wife just really isn’t inerested any more so he sfhifts into thinking of thing s they have done that they enjoyed mutually to help speed him up.

 

[TLM08]

regarding the question of HAVING to use imagination to acheive pleasure…what in the case (ultra rare so i am told) that the man’s wife is done and the man still has lots of energy,he knows his wife just really isn’t inerested any more so he sfhifts into thinking of thing s they have done that they enjoyed mutually to help speed him up.

I’ve been married for 25 years and I still haven’t got the foggiest idea.

 

[TLM08]

All well, good and mildly interesting. But who exactly died and appointed you Beauty Czar? Where do you get off assuming women do this only at the beckoning of men and not for their own reasons? A confident woman has no problem stating what she wants or finding the means to get it. Does it occur to you that “porn” has far less to do with the desireability and accessibility of cosmetic surgery than the dramatic advancements in the field over the past 30 years? Is it meaningful at all that a large percentage of practitioners are now themselves women? As for your broken heart…spare yourself and us the dramatics. Those of us who have no issue chosing to utilize this field of medicine to maintain or enhance our appearance aren’t looking for sympathy~we look far too good to be pitied!!

It’s with deep sadness and shame that I have lived the vast majority of my life in perpetual state of mortal sin due to lust. It has only been in recent years that I have come to understand that female beauty can be soaked in and appreciated just like the most beautiful things that make up God’s magnificent creation without having it lead into sin. Rejecting the culture’s “junk food” mentality toward female beauty provided the moment of clarity that opened the door of my heart to accept God’s grace to heal these weaknesses within myself.

There is no peace in presenting a false image of oneself simply to win the approval of others. More often is the case that men will become attracted to the false image that is being projected and many women will be provoked toward gossip, backbiting and envy.

Nobody really appointed me to anything, I am just a product of the sexual revolution from decades past and as I start to feel my age, things are becoming just a little bit more clear. I wish you peace and happiness wherever you may be seeking it.
God Bless.

 

[RichT]

It’s with deep sadness and shame that I have lived the vast majority of my life in perpetual state of mortal sin due to lust. It has only been in recent years that I have come to understand that female beauty can be soaked in and appreciated just like the most beautiful things that make up God’s magnificent creation without having it lead into sin. Rejecting the culture’s “junk food” mentality toward female beauty provided the moment of clarity that opened the door of my heart to accept God’s grace to heal these weaknesses within myself.

There is no peace in presenting a false image of oneself simply to win the approval of others. More often is the case that men will become attracted to the false image that is being projected and many women will be provoked toward gossip, backbiting and envy.

Nobody really appointed me to anything, I am just a product of the sexual revolution from decades past and as I start to feel my age, things are becoming just a little bit more clear. I wish you peace and happiness wherever you may be seeking it.
God Bless.

I to come from a similar background. I can’t even begin to tell you how many women I know who felt they had to change their bodies in order to compete with the other Barbie Doll looking women. It’s really sad to be honest. Now, that doesn’t mean I am judging them for doing this, I just hate to see women making these changes out of our society pressuring them. Take a look at the checkout stands at the grocery stores. What do you see? Cosmo, and many other magazines with the perfect bodies on the covers. Our young girls are being bombarded with this stuff and they grow up believing they need to look a certain way in order to be loved. And this applies to men as well as women. How many men use steroids so they can look a certain way? How many of them have implants to enhance their abs or biceps?

I think that there are places for plastic surgery, such as burn victims, of surviviors of breast cancer, accidents, etc… But for the life of me, why do men and women feel the need to change what God has made perfect?

Now before someone jumps on me for feeling this way, save yourself the trouble. As I said, I am not judging those of you who choose to do this, only stating my feelings on this subject.

As far as the original question, I am more concerned about my wife and her response during the marital act. I tend to focus more on her and making sure she is fulfilled and satisfied, not some fake impression of what she would look like if she sent under the knife.

 

[TLM08]

I to come from a similar background. I can’t even begin to tell you how many women I know who felt they had to change their bodies in order to compete with the other Barbie Doll looking women. It’s really sad to be honest. Now, that doesn’t mean I am judging them for doing this, I just hate to see women making these changes out of our society pressuring them. Take a look at the checkout stands at the grocery stores. What do you see? Cosmo, and many other magazines with the perfect bodies on the covers. Our young girls are being bombarded with this stuff and they grow up believing they need to look a certain way in order to be loved. And this applies to men as well as women. How many men use steroids so they can look a certain way? How many of them have implants to enhance their abs or biceps?

I think that there are places for plastic surgery, such as burn victims, of surviviors of breast cancer, accidents, etc… But for the life of me, why do men and women feel the need to change what God has made perfect?

Now before someone jumps on me for feeling this way, save yourself the trouble. As I said, I am not judging those of you who choose to do this, only stating my feelings on this subject.

As far as the original question, I am more concerned about my wife and her response during the marital act. I tend to focus more on her and making sure she is fulfilled and satisfied, not some fake impression of what she would look like if she sent under the knife.

Good post… One visit through the magazine counter proves that
we are in the midst of a culture that in highly involved in the “worship of man”.