Sexual thoughts within marriage?

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Shondee

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I know we’re called to be pure minded, and to avoid sinning in our thoughts, and inapproprite thought, but where does this line all within marriage? is it morally ok to fantasize sexually about ones spouse? Or does that push the line to lut?
 
If you are talking about thinking about your spouse in a healthy sexual way, then no problem. If you start looking at your spouse solely as a means to pleasure or if you objectify him/her, then you are crossing the line into lust.
 
How can you know the difference? Is it lust to, for example and trying not to be detailed, imagine what you might want to do with your husband when he gets home? Or is it too lustful to actually er…play through things, mentally, and better to just imagine and think about the intimacy only, rather than the physical aspects, since sex is bothemotional and physical?
 
Shondee said:
How can you know the difference? Is it lust to, for example and trying not to be detailed, imagine what you might want to do with your husband when he gets home? Or is it too lustful to actually er…play through things, mentally, and better to just imagine and think about the intimacy only, rather than the physical aspects, since sex is bothemotional and physical?
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It becomes a problem if you obsess with it. It also becomes a problem if you think of it in order to get sexual pleasure yourself, and not to follow through. Being drawn to your spouse is a good and healthy thing. As long as it’s not just about you, but about both of you giving pleasure to one another. If you find yourself doing it so much that you can’t function, then you know it’s a problem. It’s one thing to daydream from time to time, it’s another to spend almost all day thinking about ‘sex’.
 
Shondee said:
How can you know the difference? Is it lust to, for example and trying not to be detailed, imagine what you might want to do with your husband when he gets home? Or is it too lustful to actually er…play through things, mentally, and better to just imagine and think about the intimacy only, rather than the physical aspects, since sex is bothemotional and physical?
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If you’re looking for a rule book, I think you’re not going to find it. Use your best judgment. Avoid excess: I think it’s OK to desire your wife but don’t allow yourself to be excited to inordinate lust, especially if it might cloud your judgment. By all means “plan” but do not allow your mind to wander into perversion. That sort of thing.
 
My confessor told me to pray for the Holy Spirit’s grace of wisdom. It will guide you.
 
sw85 said:
If you’re looking for a rule book, I think you’re not going to find it. Use your best judgment. Avoid excess: I think it’s OK to desire your wife but don’t allow yourself to be excited to inordinate lust, especially if it might cloud your judgment. By all means “plan” but do not allow your mind to wander into perversion. That sort of thing.
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What do you mean by perversion?
 
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