Sexual Thoughts

[Cupcake143]

When going to sleep at night, I usually think of kissing, cuddling, etc with a guy. I used to think about it more and never thought it was a sin, but when I found that lustful/sexual thoughts are a mortal sin, I stopped having those certain thoughts I used to have. But, I sill think about kissing, or cuddling and being held by a guy. I am a little embarrassed to say, but sometimes I think I even think about having sex… I never had sex, and sometimes people make me curious about it. Is it bad to talk to people who talk about it a lot, that way I don’t think about it? Have I committed a mortal sin?

 

[Shannon46]

When going to sleep at night, I usually think of kissing, cuddling, etc with a guy. I used to think about it more and never thought it was a sin, but when I found that lustful/sexual thoughts are a mortal sin, I stopped having those certain thoughts I used to have. But, I sill think about kissing, or cuddling and being held by a guy. I am a little embarrassed to say, but sometimes I think I even think about having sex… I never had sex, and sometimes people make me curious about it. Is it bad to talk to people who talk about it a lot, that way I don’t think about it? Have I committed a mortal sin?

I don’t think there’s anyone who hasn’t had the same kind of thoughts, it’s ok to seek advice although some people have a hard time finding the right person to have a good realationship without committing moral sin.

 

[Scoobyshme]

When going to sleep at night, I usually think of kissing, cuddling, etc with a guy. I used to think about it more and never thought it was a sin, but when I found that lustful/sexual thoughts are a mortal sin, I stopped having those certain thoughts I used to have. But, I sill think about kissing, or cuddling and being held by a guy. I am a little embarrassed to say, but sometimes I think I even think about having sex… I never had sex, and sometimes people make me curious about it. Is it bad to talk to people who talk about it a lot, that way I don’t think about it? Have I committed a mortal sin?

Having the thought is not a sin, since we cannot completely control what comes into our minds. But consenting to the thought is sinful. For example, you have a thought of having sex with a guy. 1. You then think, “No! That wouldn’t be right. I would never do that!” You have grown in virtue, then, by rejecting the sinful temptation in thought. 2. Or, you could think, “Yeah, boy! If I got have a chance, I would…!” Then you need to go to Sacramental Confession.

 

[twoangels]

When going to sleep at night, I usually think of kissing, cuddling, etc with a guy. I used to think about it more and never thought it was a sin, but when I found that lustful/sexual thoughts are a mortal sin, I stopped having those certain thoughts I used to have. But, I sill think about kissing, or cuddling and being held by a guy. I am a little embarrassed to say, but sometimes I think I even think about having sex… I never had sex, and sometimes people make me curious about it. Is it bad to talk to people who talk about it a lot, that way I don’t think about it? Have I committed a mortal sin?

Falling asleep is a tricky moral area because it tends to be gradually fallen into (unless you’re extreemly tired) and can be interferred with by having a lot on your mind or thinking really actively. Certain parts of your brain turn off when you fall asleep. The same is true when you become aroused so its very common that as we fall asleep and when we are asleep that we can have sexual dreams.

Any sin is an act of the will. When we lose our ability to willfully do things, we are incapable of sinning. I would say that if our will power is compromised by dosing off, we are incapable of having full consent of the will. We may have some control but not full control. This makes it not a mortal sin, though it is still sinful. This also makes sexual sin a tricky one. Sexual sin is always a grave offense, but the only way for it to be mortal is to deliberately and intentionally do it. This means that a couple who are not married who rent a hotel room to lose their virginity before they’re married are committing a mortal sin. However, say you have a young girl whose understanding of sexuality is very limited. She doesn’t want to lose her virginity, but an older man who wants to have sex with her uses her ignorance against her and seduces her against her will. By the time she is engaging in sex, she isn’t putting up much of a resistance. She may in fact live with guilt, blame herself, etc, but she in fact was raped. This is true because arousal turns off portions of our brain and reduces our will power. So what she did was not her sin and certainly not mortal.

So basically intentionally engaging in sexual behavior for the pursuit of sexual pleasure is sinful. When it comes to the mental states between being fully awake and fully asleep, the tricky thing is figuring out when you had the will power to resist and if you resisted. Its best to just confess this as “I’m not sure about my consent of the will, but I think I may have been more awake and thus more involved in it.” That’s honest and you’ll get much better advise in the confessional. You’re supposed to be confessing what you did, not confessing more than what you did.

In regard to striving to avoid sexual thoughts before going to sleep, rather than keeping yourself awake and restless all night long as you fight those thoughts, try to reduce your exposure to sexual things during the day, especially before you go to bed. Try not to listen to music with sexual content or to look at ads that use sex to sell products to us. Its not easy because sex is used to promote just about anything. However what you’re thinking about before you go to bed influences your dreams. For instance, if you watch a scary horror movie before you go to bed, chances are as you fall asleep your mind is going to be dwelling on scary things about the movie. You might find yourself with a childish fear of the shadows in your room and of the dark. You’re much more likely to have a nightmare. — so consider how you avoid nightmares at bedtime and put those principles into avoiding sexual dreams.

 

[Bookcat]

Having the thought is not a sin, since we cannot completely control what comes into our minds. But consenting to the thought is sinful. For example, you have a thought of having sex with a guy. 1. You then think, “No! That wouldn’t be right. I would never do that!” You have grown in virtue, then, by rejecting the sinful temptation in thought. 2. Or, you could think, “Yeah, boy! If I got have a chance, I would…!” Then you need to go to Sacramental Confession.

Note to readers…the poster here is giving just an example …the key here of course is not consenting to the thought…(and of course in terms of mortal sin see the CCC on the consent and knowledge needed)

 

[Shannon46]

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[Shannon46]

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