Sexuality and Vocations: Scared

[Tezza]

So I think for now I am going to worry about my career as a musician (or photographer). I think I will follow that path and then if I find later in life that it is not what I am meant to be, then I will start praying hard. As soon as this coming school year starts, I will start talking with the spiritual director. But I think no matter what, I will get consecrated to a life of celibacy. As far as I know now, this is what God wants of me.

Great idea! Enjoy today! Enjoy music! Enjoy photography! Enjoy learning! Enjoy your friendship with Christ!!

Peace,
Teri

 

[ShaunH]

Thank you all for your responses. I am feeling a lot better now! And thank you all for keeping me in your prayers.

PS: What kind of photography are you into? I haven’t settled on a favourite style yet, though I don’t really like doing “people” shots.

I’m not really sure what my favorite is. I am actually considering being a traveling photographer for other musicians and their performances and such. I think it would be a lot of fun!

 

[Toribus]

Thank you all for your responses. I am feeling a lot better now! And thank you all for keeping me in your prayers.

I’m not really sure what my favorite is. I am actually considering being a traveling photographer for other musicians and their performances and such. I think it would be a lot of fun!

Fun, and challenging. I prefer subjects like mountains and rivers because they sit still and don’t complain while I’m setting up the shot. Or cats and birds, because even though they move around and won’t behave for a shot, they don’t pester me about taking too long - or (if they’re female) how their arm looks too fat and I have to delete the shot.

 

[ShaunH]

Fun, and challenging. I prefer subjects like mountains and rivers because they sit still and don’t complain while I’m setting up the shot. Or cats and birds, because even though they move around and won’t behave for a shot, they don’t pester me about taking too long - or (if they’re female) how their arm looks too fat and I have to delete the shot.

Haha, that is very true.

 

[cknick]

Actually, certain secular vocations and the religious life are not necessarily exclusive. There are Priests and brothers who are involved in music and art. One Jesuit Brother is an astronomer (PhD). There are religious involved in music such as a Priest in the Friars of the Renewal if I recall correctly. So, do not think that being one necessarily excludes the other.

Next is that you are young and certainly have time to discern where God wants you. If God wants you to be a Priest or Brother you will not be happy until you fulfill that vocation. Right now there is time to discern. Find a spiritual director and explore the issue. Even if you were to become a Priest you MUST earn an undergrad degree (with certain courses) before even entering seminary (i.e. this ain’t happening next week and this is good as you have time to find out where you are called).

If you decide you want to pursue a secular career and are not called to Priesthood but want to consecrate yourself I understand there are ways to do that (including possibly belonging to a religious order but living in isolation in the world and serving in your secular calling…(help some of you folks with more knowledge of this area than me). One order I can think of is the Brothers and Sisters of Charity (John Michael Talbot founded it) and there are others.

Here is a video about the rocking Friars of the Renewal and some individual stories:
vodpod.com/watch/1270024-funky-friars-the-franciscan-friars-of-the-renewal

Pope Benedict XVI has taught that homosexuals are not to become priests, hasn’t he?

 

[hitherwood1]

Pope Benedict XVI has taught that homosexuals are not to become priests, hasn’t he?

There is a world of difference between homosexual inclination and active sexual partnerships. If this young man and many others can make the offering of consecration and celibacy, why should’t he be a priest?
Let’s reverse this inept argument - let’s assume that 90% of males are of heterosexual orientation - does that exclude them from priesthood if they are prepared to make the vow of celibacy? No it doesn’t.
It is more likely that priests have left ministry to get married than they have to engage in same-sex relationships.
The ban on homosexuals (it is said) would remove between 50-70% of decent heroic spiritual pastoral men and the entire edifice would then be in ruins. The so-called ban is beginning to look like a scapegoat scenario and when we subscribe to this myth we limit the power of our God and make Him like one of us - narrow and prejudiced. Doesn’t God have more important worries than the sexual inclinations of his creation?

 

[Rustyxcv]

Shaun–
The days of extra and unwanted children and teenagers being forcibly shunted off into the priesthood or holy orders are long over in the U.S. Thank God!!! Under present proper discernment practices, you CANNOT have a valid call to the priesthood or to holy orders and be upset, depressed, or intimidated by it. Granted, most vocations to service in the Church present certain testings, challenges, and/or even real difficulties along the way; but if your calling is a true one from God, the predominant sentiments will those of peace, fulfillment, and a certain sure-footedness on the path. The process will be one of gradually opening doors and greater opportunities for service where you see the hand of God at work.
Besides, what’s your hurry. You have another 25 years yet before you would have to make a final decision about entering diocesan work or orders. Take it easy. Listen to your heart.
God bless! – Rusty

 

[GilChrist77]

I didn’t read the whole thread so I apologize if this has been said already. I just want to say that when I read your post I felt like there is no base for this thought. I think you are feeling like you should do this because you know that you are going to be chaste your whole life and so why not do this. There is so much more to a vocation then just being chaste and if you are scared and uncomfortable with this thought then it’s most likely not from God, because God NEVER wants you to be unhappy or uncomfortable. Also there have been many holy men and women who have not gotten married and not joined a religous community or been a priest. Being single is just as great a way to serve Jesus as any of the other vocations.

I will keep you in my prayers.

JMJ+
~Betsy

<3 Totus tuus Maria!!

 

[ShaunH]

I have a quick question. Is ignoring God’s call a mortal sin? I am most certainly not planning on doing this, I was just wondering. A part of me thinks it is a mortal sin, but I also think it depends on the situation. Any thoughts?

 

[RobNY]

I have a quick question. Is ignoring God’s call a mortal sin? I am most certainly not planning on doing this, I was just wondering. A part of me thinks it is a mortal sin, but I also think it depends on the situation. Any thoughts?

Religious life is a state of perfection, which makes me think that it couldn’t be a sin to refuse it. It is never sinful to do something good, even if you could have done better. It is just less perfect.

It certainly isn’t a mortal sin.

However, God calls us to the vocation that is most truly what we are. It will undoubtedly be the case that whatever He calls you to will sanctify you the most. Perhaps abandoning one’s true vocation will make it harder to sanctify oneself, i.e., one might die a more sinful person than one might otherwise have been.

GilChrist77 makes an excellent point-- celibacy is only a small part of the priestly and religious vocation. If you don’t feel attracted to and fascinated by the priestly and religious vocation, then definitely don’t join. It’s not a default position.

That being said, you may not have “felt a call” in particular, but make sure you live a robust prayer life, and you’ll be surprised what you’ll know about God’s will within a couple years-- I know that sounds like a really long time but it goes like a snap. Make sure you spend time with God in meditation every day… if you don’t do any now, do 15 minutes a day, if you do that, when you can, ramp it up to 30, etc. Day by day it makes no discernible difference… but give it some time and He will transform you. God bless, and get holy.

Rob

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

I’m still feeling quite depressed. The thing I’m worried about is, what if I am called to the priesthood and I won’t ever be able to live a normal, single, celibate, Christian life? What if I won’t be able to do anything I’ve dreamed of doing for my whole life? These thoughts have been keeping me awake at night for the past week. I also have troubles enjoying myself lately.

Would simply making a religious vow to remain celibate for life and to make God my lifelong spouse suffice as my calling, that is, if it turns out that I am called to a religious vocation?

*Shaun,

Hang in there. Pray. Talk to people in your parish … perhaps you may find a group to become involved with. Talk to your priest or spiritual director.

You still have time to discern your vocation in life whether to be single or a priest. You also have to find strength to live a celibate lifestyle so do make use of the sacraments and do find a spiritual director that might help you on your spiritual journey.
Also as someone pointed out just because you are committed to live a chaste life… it does not follow that you are called only to the priest hood. God wants us to be happy. ( Of course he gives us guidelines to live by)…
My point is God uses our abilities to guide us to things in life that will enrich us and that we can use for his glory. What I am trying to say and perhaps saying badly is God builds on natural abilities so find someone to help you find ways to use those to build a plan for your life.

“What if I won’t be able to do anything I’ve dreamed of doing for my whole life?”

What are your dreams? Why not write a list? In many of my career counseling courses, [both taken and taught] We began with a list. What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to do with your life? What sort of careers can you see yourself doing? If Church work?? What kind??

Remember if You were called to the priesthood or to being a brother there are orders with different works such as teachers or musicians or doctors etc.
[Your life will be lived chastly (hopefully) whether in religious life or as a single man]
Take a step back write down your hopes your fears your questions…
First though you must take time, pray, live according to the precepts of the Church. Enjoy your life now. Be the best you can be now. Student? Son? Worker? Catholic etc?]

Breathe… take it a day at a time… thank God for the gift of today.

Hope my rambling helped a bit… Blessings

 

[Rustyxcv]

I have a quick question. Is ignoring God’s call a mortal sin? I am most certainly not planning on doing this, I was just wondering. A part of me thinks it is a mortal sin, but I also think it depends on the situation. Any thoughts?

Shaun–
Thank you for this question. It made me laugh out loud. Please, read the story of Balaam’s *** in Numbers 22 and read the book of Jonah (it’s very short). If God wants you to be a priest, He will find an acceptable way for you to become a priest. If He doesn’t want you to become a priest, nothing you (or any bishop) can do will allow you to become one.
– Relax. Enjoy the life you have now. Go on a vocations retreat this summer. See if it speaks to your heart. God bless! — Rusty

 

[Rustyxcv]

Shaun–
Thank you for this question. It made me laugh out loud. Please, read the story of Balaam’s *** in Numbers 22 . . .

– LOL – LOL – LOL – it seems that I have run into the Mommy Babysitter
Software on our beloved forum – of course I am referring to the story of Balaam’s D-O-N-K-E-Y, Balaam’s “little horsey,” Balaam’s four-footed-mode-of-transportation – (perhaps ONE of those will get past the censors) – my humblest apologies to those who may have been offended at my quotation from the Holy Scriptures alluding to “Balaam’s ***” – LOL – one shudders to think of how Our Dear Lord entered Jerusalem on Palm Sunday!!! – Rusty