Sexuality Preference Worry

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Hello,

I’m a teenager and most of my anxieties and worries come from sexuality. I’m always worried to death that I ‘may be gay’, I ‘may be a paedophile’, I ‘may be Bi’ etc etc. I have read it’s normal for my age group to have these worries because they want to be ‘normal’.

Anyone else struggle with this and want to offer tips?
 
I have struggled with similar struggles before. I never thought that I might be a gay person or a lesbian but I have thought that I might be bisexual before. That said, if you are still very young, it is probably pretty normal to have questions like these. If they really bother you a lot, I’d suggest discussing these issues with your priest or with a Catholic therapist. I would not recommend a secular therapist because many times secular therapists will only encourage deviant sexual thoughts such as sexual attraction to the same sex. If you truly are gay or bi then you need to remain chaste and you need to try to combat sexual or lustful thoughts about the same sex. When they pop up, don’t immediately say that you sinned. It is only sinful if you dwell on them. May God bless you and keep you. 🙂
 
Nice to hear from you Holly.

I’m 16 years old, and many call me ‘homophobic’.

About 6 months I almost worried myself to depression about being homosexual. I prayed the entire rosary each night for a week. I believe it healed me.

I no longer believe at all that I am homosexual, but the intrusive thought of course still exists and invades every now and then.

Peace
 
Here’s my tip!
Stay close to the Blessed Sacrament. I believe you are in RCIA. the time will come when you will receive the Sacraments. Remember that through the Sacraments we receive the grace to overcome any temptation. Should these intrusive thoughts and feelings continue, run to the Sacraments.

Sounds like you are resolved that you are not “homosexual”. Take strength from that blessing. And again , for any struggle in life, run to our Lord present in the Blessed Sacrament. He is there waiting.

And should these intrusions cause you future anxiety remember this: We have a choice in life. We are not victims unless we choose to be. Some try to claim that the options are “Come Out” & pursue a relationship; or be miserable the rest of your life. But MANY of us find happiness, joy and contented fulfillment in a life of celibate chastity. Often a picture is painted that homosexuals who live according to church teaching are miserable wounded souls.I imagine we are like any group- either we can live in the truth and the truth can set us free; or we can keep focus on what we give up and believe that we are making such a sacrifice that happiness isn’t possible. In the second case, we refuse to accept the freedom He offers us and the real joy that comes from that.

Sure, anytime we have an “issue” or temptation or cross to bare, it can be difficult at times. But it is never impossible if we keep our eyes on the Lord.
For me, accepting a life of celibate chastity isn’t a real difficult thing anymore. Paying taxes, refraining from passing judgement, pride and envy- now there’s a challenge! But even in these things my strength and joy is in The Lord.

St. Joseph, most Chaste Spouse of our Blessed Mother, pray for us.
 
PiousTemplar said:
Hello,

I’m a teenager and most of my anxieties and worries come from sexuality. I’m always worried to death that I ‘may be gay’, I ‘may be a paedophile’, I ‘may be Bi’ etc etc. I have read it’s normal for my age group to have these worries because they want to be ‘normal’.

Anyone else struggle with this and want to offer tips?
Click to expand...
why are you worried about it…are you attracted to both sexes (thats bi) or the same sex (gay) if you are either of these then you’d know!

why worry about being a paedophile…that doesnt seem like a regular thought for most people…
 
PiousTemplar said:
Nice to hear from you Holly.

I’m 16 years old, and many call me ‘homophobic’.

About 6 months I almost worried myself to depression about being homosexual. I prayed the entire rosary each night for a week. I believe it healed me.

I no longer believe at all that I am homosexual, but the intrusive thought of course still exists and invades every now and then.

Peace
Click to expand...
why did you let others calling you homophobic make you believe you were homosexual…homophobic is an anti gay person …doesnt mean you are gay, means you disapprove of gays:)
 
PiousTemplar said:
Hello,

I’m a teenager and most of my anxieties and worries come from sexuality. I’m always worried to death that I ‘may be gay’, I ‘may be a paedophile’, I ‘may be Bi’ etc etc. I have read it’s normal for my age group to have these worries because they want to be ‘normal’.

Anyone else struggle with this and want to offer tips?
Click to expand...
This might be symptomatic of OCD, do a google search for this
 
You’re male, right? Having doubts and insecurities about your sexuality at your age is normal. Truly. It’s one of the major differences between men and women. If you’re interested and have the stomach for it, read ‘Mindhunter’ and the other books by former FBI profiler John Douglas, as it describes how that insecurity figures into the psychology of serial killers.

Older males use that insecurity to victimize younger males, they play off those insecurities and doubts. Stop worrying, don’t compare yourself to others, and don’t rush into any kind of sexual relationship just to relieve your concerns/worries/doubts. Just enjoy being 16, go to the dances, ask girls to dance, have fun and hang out. Believe me, the other stuff will work itself out.

Your doubts don’t mean your gay/pedaphile. They mean you’re not ready for serious relationships so stop wondering when you will be. (Better to get into that after you’ve started on a career)

ETA: I’m straight, only had one date in High School, and maybe 3 as a senior in college. Eventually got married and had 3 kids (so far…). As others posted, single and celibate is an option and appropriate to keep you from getting hurt or hurting others. Emotionally, kids out of wedlock, etc.
 
Hi I wouldn’t worry about this too much…the more you worry the more worried you will become you are young and have a lot to discover about yourself…a counsellor could help you. Holly is not entirely correct in her assumptions about secular counsellors … of course you need to be aware that the term counsellor is used in many different senses and you need to make sure that you select someone who is appropriately qualified. Just because someone shares your faith it does not mean they are good at their job. IMO you should not choose any counsellor who tries to impose their belief and values on you, rather they should respect and work with your beliefs and values.
 
Your worries seem to be part of normal development for teen boys, but others reading the thread who have a more persistent same sex attraction may benefit from the Courage Apostolate.
 
Thankyou for your opinions!

It’s nice to have re-assurance on touchy topics like this. (for me especially)
 
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