Sexuality question

  • Thread starter Thread starter bostonboy23
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

bostonboy23

Guest
not sure if this is the right section to post in but it does have to do with the family. My question is why is the church’s teaching that only a married Man and Woman can engage in sex? I understand why the church holds up marriage but this is one of the teachings i and im sure a lot of people have trouble understanding.

For example in Jesus’s time it was considered normal for a much older man to date marry and have intercourse with young girls. Just look at the Blessed mother she was 13 when she had Jesus. Now that is considered unheard of and if it does happen we punish the man. I am not advocating underage sex or sex with minors but i just don’t understand how the Church can teach that sex is a beautiful and holy thing and then restrict it.
 
For the official teaching of the Church you might like to go to this link.

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

Mary didn’t conceive Jesus through sexual activity.
Her Child was conceived by action of God and she remained a virgin.

"Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the holy Spirit.
Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly.
Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her.
She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means “God is with us.” Isaiah 7:14
When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.
He had no relations with her until she bore a son, and he named him Jesus." Matthew 1: 18-23
 
Explaining the Church’s teachings on sex and marriage would take up more space and time then this post allows, so I’m going to recommend you check out the following for as much information as you could want:
Check out the FAQ of Jason Evert’s site:
chastity.com/
He is a Catholic speaker on Chastity, and you’ll find a lot of information there. The site is geared more for teens/dating, but explains the morality behind the teachings as well.

A more thorough, adult explanation can be found in Christopher West’s Good News on Sex and Marriage. I highly recommend this book.

I will try to offer a basic explanation myself.
Imagine a fire crackling happily away in a fireplace. Its warm, cheery, even beautiful. Everything about it seems nice.

Now move that fire out of the fireplace and into the middle of the living room rug. Suddenly things aren’t so nice. It’s the same fire, but outside its proper place, it’s no longer such a good thing.

There is a time and place for everything. “When a person understands the meaning of sex, it becomes obvious that premarital sex is dishonest: it is a lie in the language of the body. With your body you are saying, “I give myself to you entirely. There is nothing more of me that I could give you,” but in reality there is no such commitment and gift of self. There is a total physical gift but no total gift of the person. The gift is reduced to a loan or a lease, because the body is given to the other temporarily. In other words, you are ready to have sex when your body speaks the truth: “I am entirely yours. Forever.” Therefore, only in marriage can one be “ready” for sex.” -http://www.chastity.com/chastity-qa/dating/hooking-up/how-do-you-know-when-youre-rea
 
How Mary became the Mother of Jesus:

“In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary.
And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.”
But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.
Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.
Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus.
He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father,
and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”
But Mary said to the angel, "How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”

And the angel said to her in reply, "The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.

And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God."
Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

Luke chapter 1 verses 26-38
 
not sure if this is the right section to post in but it does have to do with the family. My question is why is the church’s teaching that only a married Man and Woman can engage in sex? I understand why the church holds up marriage but this is one of the teachings i and im sure a lot of people have trouble understanding.

For example in Jesus’s time it was considered normal for a much older man to date marry and have intercourse with young girls. Just look at the Blessed mother she was 13 when she had Jesus. Now that is considered unheard of and if it does happen we punish the man. I am not advocating underage sex or sex with minors but i just don’t understand how the Church can teach that sex is a beautiful and holy thing and then restrict it.
Sex was designed for marriage. For married people sex is not restricted. Also, in biblical times it was common for people to marry in their teens as well!

Sex outside of marriage results in all sorts of social ills and makes it very difficult for a civilized society to survive.
 
A more thorough, adult explanation can be found in Christopher West’s Good News on Sex and Marriage. I highly recommend this book.
I 100% jumping up and down agree.

Seriously.

We recieved the book at a marriage prep session. My husband, who is not Catholic, just *devoured *that book and came out of it with a much better understanding of the whole thing. He’s still not Catholic…but was very impressed and surprised with how well thought out the reasoning was and from then on, of his own free will, was completely on the chastity/NFP boat. 👍
 
i misspoke i know Jesus was conceived of the holy spirit.
 
not sure if this is the right section to post in but it does have to do with the family. My question is why is the church’s teaching that only a married Man and Woman can engage in sex? I understand why the church holds up marriage but this is one of the teachings i and im sure a lot of people have trouble understanding.

For example in Jesus’s time it was considered normal for a much older man to date marry and have intercourse with young girls. Just look at the Blessed mother she was 13 when she had Jesus. Now that is considered unheard of and if it does happen we punish the man. I am not advocating underage sex or sex with minors but i just don’t understand how the Church can teach that sex is a beautiful and holy thing and then restrict it.
Because sex is part of the Sacrament of Marriage. I’m glad that you understand that marital sex is beautiful and holy. That is because it is the language of the sacrament. It’s purpose is to unify the couple and to create a life from their commitment to each other. It’s a fairly simple concept. Marital Sex is the language speaking of lifelong commitment. It is a reflection of the love within the trinity which is eternal commitment. Sexual acts outside of marriage do not speak the same language and they are a lie because they mimic the real thing.
 
Your right! What your asking is perfectly fair. The churches teaching on sexuality is a hard thing to understand, for some people. It’s not just the Catholic Churches teaching, alot of it is basic to alot of forms of Christianity.

I think some people need to remember that the sexual act in itself is not sinful. How it is used can be.

Alot of reading on sexuality is availible on this website. The forums, etc, all are wonderful resorurces.

If you don’t agree with a teaching, that’s okay-you might say something like, “I really don’t like or understand this-but I accept it.” or “When I die, I’m going to ask God about this one!”

\Keep on asking questions here as well. Most people who post here are have really interesting answers to a whole bunch of questions.

As for the Mary question-Kage_ar is right. No one knows how old she was.
 
not sure if this is the right section to post in but it does have to do with the family. My question is why is the church’s teaching that only a married Man and Woman can engage in sex? I understand why the church holds up marriage but this is one of the teachings i and im sure a lot of people have trouble understanding.

For example in Jesus’s time it was considered normal for a much older man to date marry and have intercourse with young girls. Just look at the Blessed mother she was 13 when she had Jesus. Now that is considered unheard of and if it does happen we punish the man. I am not advocating underage sex or sex with minors but i just don’t understand how the Church can teach that sex is a beautiful and holy thing and then restrict it.
Let me try try to explina in a different light. The other posts are correct in the teachings of the catholic church and marriage/sexual relationships. I noticed that you brought up the age of mary in your OP. When comparing cultures it is vastly important to understand the reasoning behind both cultural acceptance of morals. In Jesus’s time and before and after, indeed in some countries today, it is morally acceptable for a very young child (12-15) to marry. This oft times correlates to the average age of the population as well as other health factors. Since most girls go trhough puberty around 12-13 if not younger it means that there bodies are becoming ready to give birth. Their hips are widening, their ovaries are producing eggs correctly, their hormone levels are ready to support pregnancy. Most men do not reach this stage of being able to reproduce children until their late teens, hence why older men would marry young girls, because even if two 12 year olds marry, the boy would not be able to fullfill his sexual intimacy with his wife at such an early age, thus it would not be until years later that the marriage would be real (with the sexual act done) and childbearing would be delayed. In those cultures most times child mortality is high, another reason for the concept of “go forth and multiply” alot. Lots of pregnancies would equal a greater chance of surviving children. With one woman she can really only have one child a year (barring multiples), plus recovery and the natural BC that breastfeeding provides.

Since children were so desired in those cultures it was not uncommon to divorce or to quickly find a young wife after the death of a spouse, to try again to produce more children. Women also have a somewhat limited time to healthily produce children, generally between 15-25 (at that time or in those cultures). We do not have problem and women can give birth in their 30s and 40s (though in those later yeards health complications are greater) Men can keep reproducing almost until they die, baring erectile disfunction. So a man with no sons, or surviving children in his 50s would marry a young girl of 13 so that he could get the maximum amount of years with her to produce more children. Again this is a cultural thing mainly to do with survival of the family or the blood line.

In America, as other cultures today, women on average live about 89 years. Infant and maternal mortality rate is also much lower than other cultures or times. Thus it is perfectly feasible for a woman to have twi pregnancies that result in two healthy surviving adult children to go on and reproduce. Part of the reason why maternal and fetal mortality rates are low is that we frown upon activities that increase those chances, such as children very very early on, and even later on in life. Another reason is that we understand the human brain more and know that the comprehension section does not fully develop until the late teens, thus ability to make adult rational decisions after carefully examining the potential consequences, something that young teenagers do not have.

We also are not forced to have teenagers work for their livelihood at such a young age as we used to. They are not responsible for whoel countries, villages, towns, castles and their occupants etc. such as the medieval ages where it was not uncommon in the most to have the lord of the keep being only 15, making the decisions for that land much like a mini king.

I hope that this enlightens you a little more.
 
No one knows HOW old Mary was when Jesus was born.
it is generally accepted that she was between 12-13 when she was married to Joseph. the norm back then was for women to marry by the age of 13 and have a child not long after.
 
Let me try try to explina in a different light. The other posts are correct in the teachings of the catholic church and marriage/sexual relationships. I noticed that you brought up the age of mary in your OP. When comparing cultures it is vastly important to understand the reasoning behind both cultural acceptance of morals. In Jesus’s time and before and after, indeed in some countries today, it is morally acceptable for a very young child (12-15) to marry. This oft times correlates to the average age of the population as well as other health factors. Since most girls go trhough puberty around 12-13 if not younger it means that there bodies are becoming ready to give birth. Their hips are widening, their ovaries are producing eggs correctly, their hormone levels are ready to support pregnancy. Most men do not reach this stage of being able to reproduce children until their late teens, hence why older men would marry young girls, because even if two 12 year olds marry, the boy would not be able to fullfill his sexual intimacy with his wife at such an early age, thus it would not be until years later that the marriage would be real (with the sexual act done) and childbearing would be delayed. In those cultures most times child mortality is high, another reason for the concept of “go forth and multiply” alot. Lots of pregnancies would equal a greater chance of surviving children. With one woman she can really only have one child a year (barring multiples), plus recovery and the natural BC that breastfeeding provides.

Since children were so desired in those cultures it was not uncommon to divorce or to quickly find a young wife after the death of a spouse, to try again to produce more children. Women also have a somewhat limited time to healthily produce children, generally between 15-25 (at that time or in those cultures). We do not have problem and women can give birth in their 30s and 40s (though in those later yeards health complications are greater) Men can keep reproducing almost until they die, baring erectile disfunction. So a man with no sons, or surviving children in his 50s would marry a young girl of 13 so that he could get the maximum amount of years with her to produce more children. Again this is a cultural thing mainly to do with survival of the family or the blood line.

In America, as other cultures today, women on average live about 89 years. Infant and maternal mortality rate is also much lower than other cultures or times. Thus it is perfectly feasible for a woman to have twi pregnancies that result in two healthy surviving adult children to go on and reproduce. Part of the reason why maternal and fetal mortality rates are low is that we frown upon activities that increase those chances, such as children very very early on, and even later on in life. Another reason is that we understand the human brain more and know that the comprehension section does not fully develop until the late teens, thus ability to make adult rational decisions after carefully examining the potential consequences, something that young teenagers do not have.

We also are not forced to have teenagers work for their livelihood at such a young age as we used to. They are not responsible for whoel countries, villages, towns, castles and their occupants etc. such as the medieval ages where it was not uncommon in the most to have the lord of the keep being only 15, making the decisions for that land much like a mini king.

I hope that this enlightens you a little more.
i brought this up to point out the fact that somethings that are considered taboo now were not in accent times and vise versa.
 
i brought this up to point out the fact that somethings that are considered taboo now were not in accent times and vise versa.
It was not taboo then since it was a survival issue where death was all do easy a condition. Here we are living longer and can worry more about moral issues rather than survival of you or your family.

This is why in poor countries or areas it seems that people to not live morally or they do not rate moral values very high on their political list because they are right so more concerned with surviving to the next day by any means necessary that is part of our biological survival instict that all animals have.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top