Sexuality Question

[Goldy]

I had asked this question in another forum but didn’t see what happened to it, so here goes: Does the Church have an official teaching regarding sexual acts (masterbation, oral sex, etc.) WITHIN a marriage? The situation is unique: The couple can’t currently have sex because she recently gave birth, and her doctor said no sex until at least six weeks after delivery. Is this a sin? Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

 

[wifeandmomoftwo]

I had asked this question in another forum but didn’t see what happened to it, so here goes: Does the Church have an official teaching regarding sexual acts (masterbation, oral sex, etc.) WITHIN a marriage? The situation is unique: The couple can’t currently have sex because she recently gave birth, and her doctor said no sex until at least six weeks after delivery. Is this a sin? Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

Not having sex for 6 weeks is not a sin: but some might disagree I am sure

oral or manual stimulation is allowed as foreplay as long as it leads to intercourse

 

[JohnnyK]

yes, I believe they would be gravely sinful acts as the marital act must be completed within the marital embrace.

 

[StephanieC]

The morality of such acts within a marriage has been discussed and answered exhaustively on these forums; you might do a “search” on the Ask An Apologist forum for a definitive, reliable answer. (I’m not saying this to be snippy; just wanted to point the OP in the right direction.)

That said, I just wanted to point out that the situation is hardly “unique”! Six weeks of restrictions on most physical activity (whether it’s sexual intercourse or just working out) is a pretty common discharge order for a post-partum mom. Whether or not she needs the full six weeks, or needs longer to recover is based on the individual woman.

 

[Goldy]

yes, I believe they would be gravely sinful acts as the marital act must be completed within the marital embrace.

So just to make sure: The act is a grave sin even though it is impossible to currently have sex? Just wanted to make sure so this person can go to confession. Thanks!

 

[wifeandmomoftwo]

So just to make sure: The act is a grave sin even though it is impossible to currently have sex? Just wanted to make sure so this person can go to confession. Thanks!

yup…unless it ended in martial sex

 

[Holly3278]

Masturbation and foreplay and such are gravely sinful unless completed with the marital act.

 

[1ke]

I had asked this question in another forum but didn’t see what happened to it, so here goes: Does the Church have an official teaching regarding sexual acts (masterbation, oral sex, etc.) WITHIN a marriage? The situation is unique: The couple can’t currently have sex because she recently gave birth, and her doctor said no sex until at least six weeks after delivery. Is this a sin? Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

Yes, the Church does teach us about the proper use of our sexual faculties.

Each act between husband and wife must be BOTH unitive and procreative. The acts you describe-- if not a part of a completed act of intercourse-- are disordered (and yes, that means sinful if engaged in with full knowledge and free will).

You seem to emphasize “within marriage” but you need to understand that the Church teaching on masterbation (genital stimulation orally or manually) is for ALL PERSONS, married or not. It’s a violation of the proper use of our sexual faculties-- period-- if it is an end unto itself. It can only be properly used as part of an act of intercourse.

So, the answer is that the couple should employ marital chastity until such time as they can come together in a full act of intercourse.

 

[Ron_Conte]

The Church teaches that any act which is intrinsically evil cannot be moral, regardless of circumstance or intention. Unnatural sex acts (e.g. oral sex, anal sex, manipulative sex) are intrinsically evil and therefore cannot become moral by being combined with, preceded by, or followed by, a moral act of natural marital relations.

Now there are many ‘teachers’ in the Church who are teaching the exact opposite idea, but they have no explanation for how an act that is intrinsically evil can become good by being combined with another act. As an analogy, bank robbery is immoral, and it does not become moral by being combined with or followed by the act of donating the money to charity.

here is my lengthly explanation of this principle:
catholicplanet.com/CCSE/marriage-sins.htm

May marriage be honorable in every way, and may the marriage bed be immaculate.
For God will judge fornicators and adulterers. (Hebrews 13:4).

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I had asked this question in another forum but didn’t see what happened to it, so here goes: Does the Church have an official teaching regarding sexual acts (masterbation, oral sex, etc.) WITHIN a marriage? The situation is unique: The couple can’t currently have sex because she recently gave birth, and her doctor said no sex until at least six weeks after delivery. Is this a sin? Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

Just out of sheer curosity, why do people make it seem like going for 4-6 weeks without sex is the end of the world? My DW just gave birth a month ago today and while there has been that desire, I COMPLETELY understand why we cannot come together in the marital embrace and I love and respect her for that and do not have to find “other” ways (sexual ways) to show my love for her. It just seems like many people (not just on the forums) do not have a full understanding of what sex is. Just confused why 6 weeks of no sex is an eternity for so many??

 

[wifeandmomoftwo]

The Church teaches that any act which is intrinsically evil cannot be moral, regardless of circumstance or intention. Unnatural sex acts (e.g. oral sex, anal sex, manipulative sex) are intrinsically evil and therefore cannot become moral by being combined with, preceded by, or followed by, a moral act of natural marital relations.

Now there are many ‘teachers’ in the Church who are teaching the exact opposite idea, but they have no explanation for how an act that is intrinsically evil can become good by being combined with another act. As an analogy, bank robbery is immoral, and it does not become moral by being combined with or followed by the act of donating the money to charity.

here is my lengthly explanation of this principle:
catholicplanet.com/CCSE/marriage-sins.htm

May marriage be honorable in every way, and may the marriage bed be immaculate.
For God will judge fornicators and adulterers. (Hebrews 13:4).

Guess there is no fore-play in your marriage bed

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

The Church teaches that any act which is intrinsically evil cannot be moral, regardless of circumstance or intention. Unnatural sex acts (e.g. oral sex, anal sex, manipulative sex) are intrinsically evil and therefore cannot become moral by being combined with, preceded by, or followed by, a moral act of natural marital relations.

Now there are many ‘teachers’ in the Church who are teaching the exact opposite idea, but they have no explanation for how an act that is intrinsically evil can become good by being combined with another act. As an analogy, bank robbery is immoral, and it does not become moral by being combined with or followed by the act of donating the money to charity.

here is my lengthly explanation of this principle:
catholicplanet.com/CCSE/marriage-sins.htm

May marriage be honorable in every way, and may the marriage bed be immaculate.
For God will judge fornicators and adulterers. (Hebrews 13:4).

With all due respect, what you have just offered is you opinion as the Church has never said that oral sex/oral stimulation within the marital act is immoral or evil. Actually JPII taught the exact opposite, that it is beautiful and regarded as an act of love.

I always have a hard time, when others take a hard stance against the acts in the marriage bed such as oral sex/stimulation, wondering what they view sexual relations as. You lie in bed next to each other, have sex and then you are finished? Confusing.

 

[CuriousInIL]

The morality of such acts within a marriage has been discussed agreed] and answered [disagree] exhaustively * *on these forums; you might do a “search” on the Ask An Apologist forum for a definitive [not so much], reliable [agreed] answer. (I’m not saying this to be snippy; just wanted to point the OP in the right direction.)

That said, I just wanted to point out that the situation is hardly “unique”! Six weeks of restrictions on most physical activity (whether it’s sexual intercourse or just working out) is a pretty common discharge order for a post-partum mom. Whether or not she needs the full six weeks, or needs longer to recover is based on the individual woman.

 

[Ron_Conte]

Intrinsically evil acts are alway immoral, regardless of circumstance or intention.

Unnatural sexual acts are intrinsically evil.

Therefore, such acts cannot be justified by calling them foreplay, nor by engaging in these acts only partially, nor by combing them with the moral act of marital relations.

The Church has always taught that intrinsically evil acts are never justified under any circumstance.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Intrinsically evil acts are alway immoral, regardless of circumstance or intention.

Unnatural sexual acts are intrinsically evil.

Therefore, such acts cannot be justified by calling them foreplay, nor by engaging in these acts only partially, nor by combing them with the moral act of marital relations.

The Church has always taught that intrinsically evil acts are never justified under any circumstance.

So feel free to not engage in them, but based upon all the teachings that I have researched, I have found no Church teachings that contradict what JPII taught in his Theology of the Body and Love and Responsibility.

For the sake of discussion, since there is no sexual stimulation allowed (according to you) in the marital act, what does the marital act consist of? Just sexual intercourse? Ho hum!!

 

[1ke]

Intrinsically evil acts are alway immoral, regardless of circumstance or intention.

Unnatural sexual acts are intrinsically evil.

Therefore, such acts cannot be justified by calling them foreplay, nor by engaging in these acts only partially, nor by combing them with the moral act of marital relations.

The Church has always taught that intrinsically evil acts are never justified under any circumstance.

What, then, consitutes foreplay?

 

[mercygate]

So just to make sure: The act is a grave sin even though it is impossible to currently have sex? Just wanted to make sure so this person can go to confession. Thanks!

The answer is: YES. There is no “although”. Six weeks without sex is HARDLY a death sentence.

 

[wifeandmomoftwo]

Intrinsically evil acts are alway immoral, regardless of circumstance or intention.

Unnatural sexual acts are intrinsically evil.

Therefore, such acts cannot be justified by calling them foreplay, nor by engaging in these acts only partially, nor by combing them with the moral act of marital relations.

The Church has always taught that intrinsically evil acts are never justified under any circumstance.

you forgot your disclaimer…

Please note that most of my theology writings are speculative, rather than dogmatic.

 

[teachccd]

St. Augustine taught that the pleasure one experienced during normal intercourse was sinful. I do not have the exact reference at hand but I can locate it if necessary and maybe someone can help me here. But, anyhow, God created sex as a gift for us to enjoy while cooperating with His will to procreate. Now we can go to confession each time we make love with our spouses or we can go with what the Church teaches and enjoy this wonderful embrace.

Why do you think that God created humans to face each other during sex as opposed to animals? The unitive qualities which include any sexual stimulus done with consentual love cannot be wrong if it is unitive and procreative and does not lessen the dignity of anyone…teachccd

 

[Chancellare]

The Church has always taught that intrinsically evil acts are never justified under any circumstance.

Can you cite what are these “intrinsically evil acts” defined as such and where in CCC is it enumerated?