Sexuality

  • Thread starter Thread starter Tyler1234
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

Tyler1234

Guest
I struggle with sexual sins. I know that if I could just get over my sins regarding sexuality I would be able to devote myself to Christ, but I just really struggle with sex.

Any suggestions as to how I can help myself?

Also, prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much, and may God bless you.
 
Tyler1234 said:
I struggle with sexual sins. I know that if I could just get over my sins regarding sexuality I would be able to devote myself to Christ, but I just really struggle with sex.

Any suggestions as to how I can help myself?

Also, prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much, and may God bless you.
Click to expand...
Rosary is the answer. pray rosary daily. You will see the difference.
 
Tyler1234 said:
I struggle with sexual sins. I know that if I could just get over my sins regarding sexuality I would be able to devote myself to Christ, but I just really struggle with sex.

Any suggestions as to how I can help myself?

Also, prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much, and may God bless you.
Click to expand...
Saint Francis used to the row himself into thorn bushes and snowbanks to discipline his body when he needed to repress sexual urges. I suggest that you get up and do something to redirect your thoughts. The prayer is important because you need God to help you do this.

More prayer is really the best, simplest and probably only answer.

Unless you have a thornbush handy.
 
Tyler1234 said:
I struggle with sexual sins. I know that if I could just get over my sins regarding sexuality I would be able to devote myself to Christ, but I just really struggle with sex.

Any suggestions as to how I can help myself?

Also, prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much, and may God bless you.
Click to expand...
Hi. I cannot give you a better advice that is not already given. And that’s prayer. I mean, the bottom line is prayer.

You may want to examine your life and your direction in life. Where does it seem to point to? I think you pointed it the wrong way when you said, “I know that if I could just get over my sins regarding sexuality I would be able to devote myself to Christ.”

I think it is the other way round. 😉 That’s the beautiful thing about God. He loves us while we are still sinners. Try devoting yourself to Christ first with the dirt, wart and all. I personally have seen how even the most “unsaveable” person could be turned around by the saving grace of Jesus. It will be no different for you!

After surrendering yourself to Christ, by allowing him to heal you and be the Lord of your life, probably your prayer would be becoming a ‘maintenance’ to what has been revamped, repaired and made new. 🙂

God bless.
 
I’m guessing you’re a guy…

Whilst prayer will always ultimately be the best solution it can sometimes be very challenging when you’re in a spiritually challenging place.

I found doing some sort of intense physical exercise helped. Try push ups till you’re exhausted.
 
Well, repressing won’t take you anywhere. Chastity is to find a healthy equilibrium by not letting sex become the center of your life.

This takes a while.

Some advice.

First of all: we should expose ourselves to all sorts of temptations in order to gain strength, except temptations of lust. From these, we should put aside all pride and run away like weaklings. To indulge even for an instant in a temptation of lust is to bring paper next to fire: it will burn. So run away, literally, from temptations of lust. This can be done by switching your mind, by walking away, by singing a song, by starting to pray with all possible concentration…anything that will stop the temptation.

Second: we should learn what sexuality is. Above all else: something very good and very natural. If I see someone and I am naturally attracted, even sexually, this is very good. Now, if I want to possess the other person for my own pleasure, that is very bad: this is lust, a distortion of true love. To learn more about this, there are some excellent Catholic books out there. I’d also go ahead and find out more about the writings of Pope John Paul II on the Theology of the Body. It really helped me out.

Third: devotion to the Blessed Virgin. Pray before an icon or a statue and learn to love her pristine beauty. Do not fear, for she is living purity, perfect chastity, virgo prudentissima. Love her beauty, and suddenly all lust will appear disgusting to you, by the grace of God. You will experience healthier feelings and work better in achieving chastity by God’s help. Because lust takes purity and breaks it, it takes something very sacred and turns it into a sacrilege. It greatly offends Christ and it horribly offends the Blessed Virgin. A strong devotion towards her, by praying the Rosary often during the day, as well as the Angelus and other wonderful little prayers, will open an easy path towards chastity for you.

Fourth: this is one devotion that is truly powerful and yet most disregarded. Pray to St. Joseph, the chaste spouse of Our Lady. One prayer every night and you’ll see the results.

(Fifth: I wanted to emphasize the advice above: good exercise is definitely a must. We have so much energy, and to work hard and mortify our body by good exercise will allow us to exert more control over our senses.)

That’s a few tips, but there’s a never-ending corpus of writings on the topic, for we all struggle with this…even the saints did 😃
  • Memorare, O piissima Virgo Maria,
    non esse auditum a saeculo, quemquam ad tua currentem praesidia,
    tua implorantem auxilia, tua petentem suffragia,
    esse derelictum.
    Ego tali animatus confidentia,
    ad te, Virgo Virginum, Mater, curro,
    ad te venio, coram te gemens peccator assisto.
    Noli, Mater Verbi,
    verba mea despicere;
    sed audi propitia et exaudi.
    Amen. *
 
Prayers for you.

Remember to go to confession frequently. Ask Father for help in this area of your life while you are in the confessional.

I don’t know if any of this will be helpful, but maybe you can find a start in dealing with this pain and sin.

May God give you the strength you need to keep yourself pure.

Steve Wood has a wonderful website with help for those dealing with sexual sins.

familylifecenterstore.net…raphy-freedom/

His booklet Breaking Free 12 Steps to Sexual Purity for Men sales for $2.95.

He has free online help for those struggling with pornography: www.dads.org/strugglewithporn.asp
 
I suggest getting “Theology of the Body” by Christopher West. He sets sexuality in it’s proper place and helps you to see it’s beauty and value. It helps you regard it as “holy.” Seeing it as holy allows a person to treat it as such and give it it’s proper reverence. You don’t have to feel guilty for urges that are beautiful and natural but yet you don’t necessarily feel compelled to act on those urges because of the new and profound respect you have for it.

It comes in C.D. form, which I recommend. It is originally a document by Pope John Paul II but put into layman’s terms by Christopher West.

I found it very healing.
 
Hello, my friend. I too suffer from a similar problem, with lust and in particular, masturbation.

The advice from “RC” was spot on. Take that advice. I have to say, with the power of prayer, my problem is getting much better. Frequent confession (and confession as soon as the sin occurs) helps. In addition to all the wonderful advice already given, I have two more things to add.
  1. Never forget the power of Jesus resurrected. When you feel lustful, that urge, that drive for pleasure, it may seem SO strong and uncontrollable, but I can assure you Jesus’ resurrected is the most powerful force in this world.
  2. Love covers over all wounds. If you knew how much you were loved, you’d cry of joy.
Pray, pray, pray. Have your devotions to Our Lady and St. Joseph and take up your cross, good servant. God bless.
 
Tyler1234 said:
I struggle with sexual sins. I know that if I could just get over my sins regarding sexuality I would be able to devote myself to Christ, but I just really struggle with sex.

Any suggestions as to how I can help myself?

Also, prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much, and may God bless you.
Click to expand...
This is the thorn in your side and the pebble in your shoe.

It should keep you praying always and fasting often. A life of prayer and a life of the spirit, nurtured by the Sacraments of Confession and Communion.

Resist and resist again. Don’t ask the Lord to take the thorn from your side or the pebble from your shoe…ask for the grace to resist and resist again.
 
The things to remember:
  1. You can’t overcome this by willpower alone. You need grace.
  2. It is possible to misuse prayer as an exercise of the will as a means to stop this. It will only work for a short time and the poison will come out in other ways during that time.
  3. Therefore your prayer should be prayer to open yourself up to His grace and His love; meditation/contemplative prayer is the direction I would lean.
  4. Most important: God loves you in spite of this. He loves that you are trying. He expects effort, not perfection. Only He is capable of perfection.
  5. Nearly as important, you have to stop feeling shame over this and you need to love yourself exactly as you are; if God can, so can you; I’m assuming you’re young; for young people, especially young men, these urges are perfectly normal and devilishly hard to overcome. Trust me, when you’re over 50 it gets easier :p. This probably attenuates the “full consent” necessary for the sin to be mortal, certainly your confessor can help you here.
  6. Don’t be scrupulous about it. Go to confession, and respect what your confessor says. If he says it’s not necessary to confess this every week because of your particular circumstances, listen to his advice. Falling into scrupulosity is the devil’s trick to lead you to despair, which closes you down to God’s grace.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top