CaptFun resonds in RED
- Full knowledgeYou didn’t know OTHERS were going to do this. You did not knowingly GO to a place where dirty jokes are normally told for “fun” - you were taking a test you had to. Your participation (which was passive at WORST - but involuntary and non-encouraging) was one moment of involuntary surprise and humor at … the wit of the thing (not the scandal of it) it seems like. Enjoying wit is not a sin … enjoying the evil would have been (and you don’t seem like you enjoyed any of THAT)
- Full Consent Almost sounds like you gave NONE. Other than continuing to take your test in that environment. I don’t think NOT leaving the room was a sin. And full consent would show up in your wanting to hear MORE, or remembering with pleasure even dirtier jokes you’d heard in the past (that sort of thing).
- Grave matter Since you capitalized THE a couple of times, I will guess that the crudity was extreme and hence “grave matter” – for them. Or you if you had gone with them actively or passively which it seems you didn’t.
(not necessarily in that order)
It looks like you did quite well actually. Except that by letting this tear you up you have that incident and those crudities on your mind now - and are possibly scrupulous as to your own participation. You would know best about that I suppose - but scrupulosity can
rob you of the good you can be doing now by keeping you stuck in the past and thinking about a sinful time and yourself as sinful.
WHEN you go to confession go ahead and confess it as you want to - then, since God will forgive you so completely that it will be as far away from you as East is from West - never think of it again. To me the sin (IF there was ANY) looks venial not mortal. The scrupulosity would be an error - but possibly not even a venial sin - since it is undergirded by a desire to please God. Which is VERY good.
It’s good to remember that God is on OUR side. And for us to TRY to be on His side by responding to graces.
It LOOKS like you may have been doing JUST that in this spiritual battle - using the grace of Fortitude (one of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit we received at Confirmation).
We can’t go wobbly every time there is a battle. And scrupulosity would be like (for example) a soldier wins a three day fight with the enemy, driving them away from a city and liberating it - then looks at his uniform which is filthy from the foxhole, crawling, etc. and reasoning “My boots are scuffed and unpolished! I’m as bad as the enemy! My General would court-martial me if he saw me now!”
If Satan tempts you to see God as a persnickety crank and Martinet who cares only for rules to be absolutely perfectly followed at all times - rather than a Father who loves his children:
Look at the cross. That is not an egotist. “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do …” were practically Jesus’ last words and they applied even to those who killed the son of God!
Doing things well and perfectly is still a GREAT virtue. But batting 1.000 is something we don’t do. Except when we are in Christ and “from at bat to at bat”.
Christ’s "Be ye perfect … " was an encouragement, and an assurance that with God’s graces - right now - we can do our best in the present moment.
In my opinion, you did quite well. Maybe others even saw you trying not to hear them, and were blessed by you unknown to you. Maybe the others quit at the point they did due to your good spirit and example.
Now that you seem to have fully probed the incident for evil. Take the gold nuggets of what you’ve learned from the trip down that dark mineshaft and move into the sunlight of Jesus’ love.
Maybe be as bold in proclaiming good things and these folks were in sharing their crudities. Wow. Now I’m convicted of a scrupulosity or two!
Thank you mymamamary! Bless you and keep fighting the good fight. (Which of course is not against yourself!) Lol. :yup:
