I totally understand your concerns. I’m converting to the Catholic Church and plan on doing RCIA in the Fall. Was interviewed by a nun in the South Bay and her ideas were not orthodox per birth control, homosexuality, and papal infallibility. Sent me looking elsewhere! I attended a Young Adult Group for South Bay Parishes (Los Altos, Mountain View, Palo Alto, Stanford University) and it was tiny and…the ideas of those there didn’t seem particularly orthodox. An East Bay Catholic Young Adult event in Berkeley was rather small. Not sure about San Francisco. From my experience thus far as a young adult looking to meet other orthodox catholic young adults, the Bay Area in general does not seem to have a thriving and orthodox Catholic community.
I asked around and Our Lady of Peace in Santa Clara was recommended as a very orthodox parish. I checked it out, and it was…and guess what they practice? Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration. I think there’s a link between orthodoxy and the centrality of the Blessed Sacrament in the life of a community. I’d recommend that as a litmus test. See how often a Parish celebrates Eucharistic Adoration, as well as confession.
I’m not sure which if any churches practice perpetual adoration in San Francisco…
I’m thinking of joining Church of the Nativity in Menlo Park, which has perpetual Eucharistic Adoration. Also, they have a strong Opus Dei group (tends to be “orthodox”, perhaps see if you can locate an Opus Dei center in SF, and see which parish they associate themselves with). I spoke with an Opus Dei coordinator and she verified that the catechesis at Church of the Nativity is very orthodox. After Saturday morning Mass, there was a long line for Confessions with the Opus Dei Priest @ Church of the Nativity, in case that helps you form a mental image of the community. Any church with long confession lines on Saturday morning is doing something to get people to take the faith seriously! Either that or they all misbehave badly on Friday nights lol
So yes, my suggestion is look for perpetual (or frequent) Eucharistic Adoration, Opus Dei centers…
My experience with Catholicism thus far is that it’s a big tent and people have the freedom to stick to the catechism or…not. As much as I dream of living in a community surrounded by passionate, orthodox Catholics, I realize that…passion for religion and orthodoxy have always been, and probably always will be…hard to find. I wouldn’t rule out San Francisco if you’re missing it. You’ll just have to do some extra hw to find an orthodox parish. I’m sure there’s at least one.
In the South Bay, Church of the Nativity (Menlo Park) and Our Lady of Peace (Santa Clara) are orthodox and well attended.
As a plus, Church of the Nativity is a gorgeous, 1850s-ish Church. Stunningly, stunningly beautiful and antique…45 min. from SF though, probably too far.