Shamless Self Promotion (Dating)

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piofaustina

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You know, I’ve heard alot of great things about the catholicmatch website, but I’ve had no luck even getting anyone to look at my profile. Can we advertise here? …should we tempt fate by doing so? I’ve got all my fingers and toes and no arrest warrants, I swear :-p

Could be I’m the fugliest guy ever, or that I’m making some common mistakes, but I’ve had women go over my profile and everything, no luck…for yeeeeaaarrrssss. Maybe try an Orthodox dating website and hope to find someone who doesn’t believe in divorce or contraception? Or has too much distaste for shameless Popery 🙂
 
I think you would have more luck, if you were the one contacting women. People say it’s a new society, but that’s still how things are done. If you are interested in a woman, contact her, but don’t expect a whole lot of women to make the first move.
 
piofaustina said:
You know, I’ve heard alot of great things about the catholicmatch website, but I’ve had no luck even getting anyone to look at my profile. Can we advertise here? …should we tempt fate by doing so? I’ve got all my fingers and toes and no arrest warrants, I swear :-p

Could be I’m the fugliest guy ever, or that I’m making some common mistakes, but I’ve had women go over my profile and everything, no luck…for yeeeeaaarrrssss. Maybe try an Orthodox dating website and hope to find someone who doesn’t believe in divorce or contraception? Or has too much distaste for shameless Popery 🙂
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You have to reach out to women you find interesting on these websites. You may strike out a 1000 times, but unlike baseball, you only need one solid hit to last you a lifetime!
 
FrenzyJen said:
I think you would have more luck, if you were the one contacting women. People say it’s a new society, but that’s still how things are done. If you are interested in a woman, contact her, but don’t expect a whole lot of women to make the first move.
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Hey FrenzyJen,

I guess I wasn’t clear on that part. The way the site works is that you do contact the women. Or at least I do. I send a message indicating that I’m interested in starting a conversation. So when I say I’m not having luck, I mean I don’t get a response. It says on my page that I think men should make the first move, and that I’d like to know where their favorite place to meet is.

But thanks…or wait…were you being sarcastic?
 
Expecting the woman to contact you is a huge turn off.

and if you would “advertise” here, it would help to put your age.
 
agapewolf said:
Expecting the woman to contact you is a huge turn off.

and if you would “advertise” here, it would help to put your age.
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Hello agapewolf,

Please see my response to FrenzyJen above, I do contact the women. And the reason for my question “…should we tempt fate by doing so?” is because of all the non-serious, mostly sarcastic responses I expect to get from an internet forum. I’m wary of posting too much info…

But heck why not:

Age 32

Census category: African American (but frankly I find census categories to be stifling)

5’ 7", average build

Full on Catholic

Bachelors in Engineering, making >$50, 000 per year

Been to Paris, London, and Rome. Looking to go back again in a few years…looking for someone to join me 😉
 
The problem with those sites is that no one wants to pay for a paid subscription so everyone ends up sending smilies etc, with very few people being able to actually email. 🙂
 
TrueLight said:
The problem with those sites is that no one wants to pay for a paid subscription so everyone ends up sending smilies etc, with very few people being able to actually email. 🙂
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Hey TrueLight,

Yeah, that’s what I thought too. I’ve tried it both ways, but on the other hand, after you put in a couple hundred bucks, you expect results (rightly or wrongly). I’m not currently paying, but I figure if someone’s interesting, and if I send a smiley and answer their interview questions, and I likewise they do the same for me, I’ll pay the $36 or whatever. No problem there.

…hmmm, maybe my standards are too high? I guess that’s another question, how do you know when what you find attractive is out of your league?
 
To the OP…why do you feel that you need to meet someone on a dating site? You are selling yourself short if you think that’s the only way that you can/should meet a member of the opposite sex. Heck, you could even meet someone in a McDonalds! 😉

You should also try the other advertised dating sites if you insist, they too ask your religious beliefs as well; you’d be surprised at how many Catholic women are on those sites.

Mike
 
I’m going to be politically incorrect and brutally honest here… perhaps they’re not feeling attracted to the picture you posted of yourself, and you’re only contacting the really good looking women who are going to be searching for really good looking men.

Get a make over, work on your appearance, lose/gain weight as necessary, and put an attractive picture of yourself up there. Then see what happens. Either that, or start contacting the less attractive girls.
 
JustPink said:

“I’m going to be politically incorrect and brutally honest here… perhaps they’re not feeling attracted to the picture you posted of yourself, and you’re only contacting the really good looking women who are going to be searching for really good looking men.”

Or men who are exceptional in some other way–like being filthy rich.

I suspect the OP’s height and race may be hurting him on the websites. It might be that you’ll do better in a setting (in real life or elsewhere on the internet) where you’re not getting rejected automatically because of how women filled out their surveys. I’m not sure about race, but in my opinion, a good enough personality makes up for being short.

“Get a make over, work on your appearance, lose/gain weight as necessary, and put an attractive picture of yourself up there. Then see what happens. Either that, or start contacting the less attractive girls.”

There are a lot of articles talking about common online dating mistakes. Have a look.

Also, maybe have a friend help you choose or take a flattering photograph. But not too flattering–you don’t want anybody to feel cheated when they actually meet you.

I’m a married lady, but I thought the OP’s self-description was a pretty good start–intriguing, positive, confident. That’s all good.
 
piofaustina said:
I guess I wasn’t clear on that part. The way the site works is that you do contact the women. Or at least I do. I send a message indicating that I’m interested in starting a conversation. So when I say I’m not having luck, I mean I don’t get a response. It says on my page that I think men should make the first move, and that I’d like to know where their favorite place to meet is.

But thanks…or wait…were you being sarcastic?
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Oh no, I wasn’t being sarcastic, it just sounded like you were waiting for girls to contact you first. Do you actually just say that you’d like to talk? Because it may be helpful to mention something from her profile that you find interesting. “I saw your ____ picture. That’s so cool! I (blahblahblah) too!!!”

I think, if you are just saying that you’d like to talk, that might be an awkward thing for a girl to try to reply too. Ask questions, give compliments.
 
Frenzy Jen is right.

From what I hear, a lot of guys are really bad about contacting multitudes of women in a sort of shotgun blast of generic replies. Write something tailored to the particular profile.
 
As a random guess, you’re probably trying too hard to find attractive women.

There’s age-old irony to finding a partner. Men go out of their way to find the most attractive woman possible. The tragic truth is that attractive women are a high risk of not making very good wives. Women go out of their way to find someone rich and tall, and they’re a high risk of not making very good husbands. People prioritize the wrong things and then 10 years down the road they’re miserable and asking God why their marriage is in the dumps. Try finding somebody simple and loyal and fun and go with it. Then marry her and have a great life. Men are especially visually oriented, but once you get to know somebody, your perceptions can change a lot. Walk by faith, not by sight 😛
 
Mikeydell said:
To the OP…why do you feel that you need to meet someone on a dating site? You are selling yourself short if you think that’s the only way that you can/should meet a member of the opposite sex. Heck, you could even meet someone in a McDonalds! 😉

You should also try the other advertised dating sites if you insist, they too ask your religious beliefs as well; you’d be surprised at how many Catholic women are on those sites.

Mike
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Greetings Mikeydell,

Thanks for the advice. I agree, I need to get out more especially amongst the catholic population. The overwhelming majority of the women on the non catholic sites like match dot com (and probably Micky D’s) are non practicing or agree with the Church up until they hit the “no premarital hankey spanky” wall.
 
JustPink said:
I’m going to be politically incorrect and brutally honest here… perhaps they’re not feeling attracted to the picture you posted of yourself, and you’re only contacting the really good looking women who are going to be searching for really good looking men.

Get a make over, work on your appearance, lose/gain weight as necessary, and put an attractive picture of yourself up there. Then see what happens. Either that, or start contacting the less attractive girls.
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Hey JustPink (interesting name by the way),

I was thinkin’ the same thing. Now the picture’s about as good as it’s going to get and still stay honest (I can’t make a dollar out of 15 cents). But it may be that I’m only contacting the “really good looking ones”… could be…
 
Xantippe said:
JustPink said:

“I’m going to be politically incorrect and brutally honest here… perhaps they’re not feeling attracted to the picture you posted of yourself, and you’re only contacting the really good looking women who are going to be searching for really good looking men.”

Or men who are exceptional in some other way–like being filthy rich.

I suspect the OP’s height and race may be hurting him on the websites. It might be that you’ll do better in a setting (in real life or elsewhere on the internet) where you’re not getting rejected automatically because of how women filled out their surveys. I’m not sure about race, but in my opinion, a good enough personality makes up for being short.

“Get a make over, work on your appearance, lose/gain weight as necessary, and put an attractive picture of yourself up there. Then see what happens. Either that, or start contacting the less attractive girls.”

There are a lot of articles talking about common online dating mistakes. Have a look.

Also, maybe have a friend help you choose or take a flattering photograph. But not too flattering–you don’t want anybody to feel cheated when they actually meet you.

I’m a married lady, but I thought the OP’s self-description was a pretty good start–intriguing, positive, confident. That’s all good.
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Awww, thanks Xantippe,

Yeah, I definitely need to do some more out and about searching, thanks for the suggestion. And yes, the height and race things appear to be somewhat limiting based on what the ladies seem to be asking for. Aryan superman I-am-not that is for sure, lol. I’ll keep searching for profile flaws, I did have a couple of ladies vet my picture, so that should be showing me in my full glory, hahahha. Just not blindingly so.
 
FrenzyJen said:
Oh no, I wasn’t being sarcastic, it just sounded like you were waiting for girls to contact you first. Do you actually just say that you’d like to talk? Because it may be helpful to mention something from her profile that you find interesting. “I saw your ____ picture. That’s so cool! I (blahblahblah) too!!!”

I think, if you are just saying that you’d like to talk, that might be an awkward thing for a girl to try to reply too. Ask questions, give compliments.
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I likes the sound of that, thx FrenzyJen.
 
Xantippe said:
Frenzy Jen is right.

From what I hear, a lot of guys are really bad about contacting multitudes of women in a sort of shotgun blast of generic replies. Write something tailored to the particular profile.
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I agree, I will apply the laser-like focus of my minds eye to the ladies one at a time.

Except… you know… I won’t say it like quite like that :-p
 
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