She doesn't accept all churches teachings

[kev7]

ok I’ve read everything you guys have said.

Thanks for your comments.

I am quite sure that this girl won’t be able to go without sex. She told me that outright. She thinks it is very important to find that out first. I know that I would fall prey to this very easy. I would most likely just have sex with her.

I’m just going to distance myself from her. I don’t have the patience to help her. I also don’t want to be a friend that is simply used as an emotional tampon. I’m sure she will keep calling me so I’ll just have to tell her no. I just hope that I can think logically and do it. She is very attractive and I know that I’m going to have a hard time with it.

I have to find a woman who shares the same values as I do. not 60% of them.

It is so very hard to find a good catholic woman. Maybe I should start looking at different parishes. Any woman that goes to church by her self is a good woman.

At least I’m getting closer.

 

[kev7]

puzzleannie:

i don’t exactly know how to interpret that question. I assume it means you have an agenda or checklist by which you judge potential girlfriends to see if they are privileged and qualified to date you, and you need help to see if she measures up. I don’t think I care to react to that assumption. Give her a chance to do what, exactly? Change her identity, personality, beliefs to measure up to your standards?

My checklist is simply that she is a good catholic woman. These are not my standards, but the requirements for the holy sacrament of matrimony.

 

[kev7]

“She doesn’t accept the churches teachings on sex before marriage, contraception, and holy orders.” – are you serious? I would be fleeing and far from any possible emotional/romantic attachment with this female.

Seriously, I would put the kibosh on the idea of dating this woman, no matter what positive attributes and elements of faithful Catholicism that she possesses. I don’t not think that missionary dating is the most effective way to win another over to Christ and full union with the Church. I would not consider dating her until after enough evidence of her conversion.

that is how i feel about this too. oh well… it sucks i guess

 

[Beebs]

This is always a sore point for me.

Many pick and choosers I have met think that these rule are new ones or came about in the dark ages. My own sister always disagreed with the churches teaching on abortion.

She though the medical proceedure was only around for a few centuries, she was shock to learn that abortion pre dated Christ.
She was also amazed that the Church has always since day one (read the Didache or early Church Fathers) been against abortion.

I guess what I am saying is that many Catholics don’t understand the history of the Church. I know some will say right is right but when you are trying to reach out to someone like this, it carries more weight to demonstrate what Jesus or his apostles or one of the first appostles of the appostles said.

How do I Know this? I was once there. I am a revert after 20 plus years of just being a pew warmmer when I was there. Dispite 8 years of Catholic Schooling I knew nothing of the early church or the writings of the early church fathers.

Don’t give up too easy. It is because of ignorance that people are pick and choosers.

I will pray for you. God Bless.

Beebs

 

[felra]

kev7:

ok
I have to find a woman who shares the same values as I do. not 60% of them.

It is so very hard to find a good catholic woman. Maybe I should start looking at different parishes. Any woman that goes to church by her self is a good woman.

At least I’m getting closer.

I can sense the air coming out of your baloon. Bye way of suggestion: Maybe you need to quit “looking” for a potential spouse. God is the Matchmaker. We are responsible to seek His will first in all things, be about His business first, and trust that He will bisect the life mate that He wants for you if and when and how He wants (not that you aren’t already doing this). I have seen this occur for many faithful couples who after a period of discouragement, quit looking, surrendered the cause, desire and their vocation into His hands, and then …"There she was, just a walking down the street, singing …” Be about His business and be out in proper exposure, He will give you His peace of blessed assurance. My unsolicited :twocents:.

 

[YinYangMom]

kev7:

I don’t have the patience to help her. I also don’t want to be a friend that is simply used as an emotional tampon.

Wow.
This speaks volumes.
Your way or no way.
Regardless of what God may have been asking of you here.
You have no time to waste on people who are not worthy of your company.

 

[FdeS2]

Of course she should be helped, but not by being her boyfriend. As you said, Kev7, you could easily fall prey to her temptations. I think it is a good idea to avoid her as a dating partner and to instead be her good friend. You can teach her a lot in this role while staying away from those particular sins. Just give her some things to read, preferably from the early Church Fathers. Also look at /www.pureloveclub.com/ for much more information on good, Catholic relationships. Maybe you can change her mind.

 

[KCT]

kev7:

I am quite sure that this girl won’t be able to go without sex. She told me that outright.

If she wants sex before marriage and you don’t, there’s your answer.

What sorts of things are you doing to develop yourself? The time that you’re single can be a wonderful time to pursue interests, travel, serve your parish and become who God wants you to be. He’ll send the right woman when you’re the right man.
—KCT

 

[BibleReader]

kev7:

ok I’ve read everything you guys have said.

Thanks for your comments.

I am quite sure that this girl won’t be able to go without sex. She told me that outright. She thinks it is very important to find that out first. I know that I would fall prey to this very easy. I would most likely just have sex with her.

I’m just going to distance myself from her. I don’t have the patience to help her. I also don’t want to be a friend that is simply used as an emotional tampon. I’m sure she will keep calling me so I’ll just have to tell her no. I just hope that I can think logically and do it. She is very attractive and I know that I’m going to have a hard time with it.

I have to find a woman who shares the same values as I do. not 60% of them.

It is so very hard to find a good catholic woman. Maybe I should start looking at different parishes. Any woman that goes to church by her self is a good woman.

At least I’m getting closer.

Beware of being too hasty to toss aside a good woman.

Most pieces of advice from the Church are antitheses – re your q, the Church says, “Beware of choosing a spouse with whom you are unequally yoked” – subject to less stringent laws than you, in her eyes. But then it says, “The main purpose of marriage is to seek the salvation of your spouse.” But, wait a second!!! Aren’t we already ‘equally yoked’!!!"

Many will view this observation as a logic game by myself – a false dichotomy.

But, it isn’t. Note, with respect to sex sin in marriage, how most Catholics rationalize it: “I disagree with the Church on a few issues.”

Unequally yoked.

So, maybe just really level with the girl. Is she pretty? Does she have a good brain? Then maybe just ditching her because she seems unequally yoked may be an error.

 

[mosher]

YinYangMom:

Wow.
This speaks volumes.
Your way or no way.
Regardless of what God may have been asking of you here.
You have no time to waste on people who are not worthy of your company.

Some of us are just not strong enough in certain areas to deal with these issues. I know that for myself I cannot date a person who does not live chastity according to her state in life. I am not strong enough to fight off the temptation. This may be his case. This is why I also have a rule “she must be a good catholic and republican” (republican is negotiable it really means politically conservative). One of the things that we promise in the act of contrition is to avoid the near occasion of sin and for some of us some women are occasions of sin and must be avoided. Others are stronger in this area and can handle the issue in a healthy way. However, I know my limits and I know where I have to draw the line for the sake of my own soul and I am sure this is what the OP is talking about.

 

[kev7]

KCT:

If she wants sex before marriage and you don’t, there’s your answer.

What sorts of things are you doing to develop yourself? The time that you’re single can be a wonderful time to pursue interests, travel, serve your parish and become who God wants you to be. He’ll send the right woman when you’re the right man.
—KCT

I am working hard trying to start my own business and become a good provider. So that has been my focus for the last two years now.

 

[kev7]

YinYangMom:

Wow.
This speaks volumes.
Your way or no way.
Regardless of what God may have been asking of you here.
You have no time to waste on people who are not worthy of your company.

What I’m trying to say is that I’ve done that before. I can’t take it. It hurts to much to just be a friend to someone when I have feelings for them. Like many have said here, you can’t change someone you are dating. Even if I tried I wouldn’t end up with that girl anyway. Someone else would. So there is no point in wasting my time with a girl who doesn’t belive in the same things that I do. I would rather just distance myself so that I don’t have any distractions in my life right now.

 

[KCT]

kev7:

So there is no point in wasting my time with a girl who doesn’t belive in the same things that I do. I would rather just distance myself so that I don’t have any distractions in my life right now.

God bless you for even thinking about these things! Too many people go just on feelings and don’t stop to think deeper. —KCT