Shocked at priest in confession

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Acceber90

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My husband, children and I are regular members of our fantastic FSSP parish. For one reason and another we ended to needing to go to confession at a different church to usual. It is actually the closest Catholic Church to us so we went on the website and checked the confession times allocated which was for half an hour on a Saturday afternoon. We have been to this church on and off over the years for confession and adoration. I have been personally struggling for a month with a serious sin and been encouraged to keep attending the sacrament of confession. On average my children and I would aim for confession once a week but of course seek it out sooner if we fell into mortal sin. Anyway I went into the confessional and I mentioned it was a week since my last confession. Confessed my sins which were grave and the priest asked if I often came weekly and I said yes . He then said that “most people only come to confession monthly if that” he was clearly uncomfortable with me coming weekly. I was pretty narked as struggling with a sin and have really been accusing and reflecting upon what a sinner I am and tying to stir up sentiment of contrition and sorrow before confession to be met with a priest wanting me to come less and implying I’m scrupulous has really bothered me! I said to him that I fell into mortal sin so thought that I had better come to confession as soon as I could . He didn’t like that and confession ended swiftly after . I have heard he has also questioned another person about this. Hardly anyone apart from one or two people attend confession from that parish and I’ve seen all the families have one or two children at most. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that the majority of that parish are probably contracepting never mind apparantly only two of them are sinners . I feel sorry for catholics these days , when you hear about the Fatima children seeing souls flying into Hell by the thousands I can see why. Confession is not prioritised , preached about or encouraged and when you do go you are too scrupulOus or patted on the back. I’m so confused as to what the priest thinks re mortal sin? Receiving communion etc? Anyone else have this kind of experience?
 
Hi A90, and welcome to the Forums.If it were me I would just go to a different priest …simple as that.
 
I don’t know if you are scrupulous about your own sins, but I do think that you are too quick to judge this priest and his entire parish. You should perhaps find a regular confessor and/or spiritual director to advise you.
 
You’re possibly reading more into this than it actually means.

Did the priest hear your confession and give you absolution?

Did he point blank tell you that you are going too often or not to go as often as you do?

You said you’ve been to this church for confession before - were you treated this way the other times?

With all respect, could you possibly have been wrong about your sins actually being mortal?

Did you make any criticl comments to him about the parish the way you have done here?
 
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I agree and can see why you would say I am quick to judge . I guess I’ve lost my patience after having a few awful experiences including being told by a priest I could go on the contraceptive pill in confession too! Also a combination of being spoilt with good confessors , when I dip back to a parish like that it’s a bit of a shock. I’m guessing you are from the US. I don’t know what it’s liek a lot over there but in UK it’s really hard to find a solid priest/ parish!
 
Thanks for your reply.
I have been to the parish before and the priest would hear my confession and never question the regularity. That priest was moved because the parish complained they couldn’t have more control Of the parish. This is a new priest I have never confessed to before . Sins were serious absolutely . I am a mother of four and my cxhidlren need there mother in a state of grace .
 
Well you cannot take any medication for purposes of avoiding conception, but you can take whatever medication you truly need to treat other health problems, even if it has the unwanted side effect of being contraceptive. Could you or the priest possibly have misunderstood?::
 
Serious according to who though?

Some people are scrupulous and see serious sin in things that are not actually serious sins - a quick glance at some of the posts on this board will tell you that.

Again, were you point blank told you were confessing too often? Tone is very easy to misinterpret, and it may have simply been meant as a comment - even a compliment - and not a criticism.
 
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OP, it’s always hurtful when something like this happens in confession. Maybe the priest was onto something though. Maybe he didn’t think your sin was mortal. If he thought you were scrupulous he was trying to help you see that.

Now you may not be scrupulous but you may think that things that most people consider venial sins are mortal sins. You might be being too harsh on yourself. Priests don’t generally question what you choose to confess. I’ve never had a priest say to me, “why are you only confessing venial sins?”. So just because a priest never told you “hey, that’s a venial sin!” doesn’t mean that it is a mortal sin.

By the way this is food for thought and not in any way criticism.

Although i did think the venting about the number of children the people in the parish have was inappropriate. Maybe it’s true, but it sounds like you are looking down on the people of this parish. Regardless, the state of the parish doesn’t necessarily reflect on the priest’s ability to give confession.
 
I got this from a priest once. Pretty much the same line. I hit him with “Well Pope John Paul II says to attend confession weekly.” (JPII was the Pope at the time and had recently said this)

He didn’t like that but he had no comeback.

In my experience, confession is one of the most neglected duties of modern priests. Don’t know if it’s the same in the US, but in Ireland you’ll find that churches and priories of religious orders will have regular confession at least once a week. The priest will often sit for hours in the box.
However with diocesan priests there’s “confession on request” which essentially means that they never hear confessions as most people will not approach them and ask.

I think it’s not hammered into them enough in seminary that sitting in the confession box is part of their duty as a priest.
 
What I meant was, if you confess a venial sin over and over, the priest won’t tell you it’s venial. He’ll assume it’s a bad habit you want to overcome. So the OP might be being harsh on herself and a priest has never corrected it. Just a possibility…
 
True, it is a possibility. But many people do go to confession weekly. It’s not an unprecedented practice. I don’t see the need for a priest to say this.
 
You might want to try this site. I have not been to it yet, nor do I presume it is pertinent to your case. But for WIW it may help.

Recividism Fr. Ripperger


Another is to retain your own spiritual advisor/confessor who will allot more dedicated time for you to deal specifically with your case.
 
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Acceber90 said:
Hardly anyone apart from one or two people attend confession from that parish and I’ve seen all the families have one or two children at most. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that the majority of that parish are probably contracepting
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Wow! Just, wow.

When doing all that self examination I encourage you say some prayers for all the couples who are unable to have children, or who have secondary infertility, and the people who “assume” they are using contraception and say snarky things like this about them.
 
Def not misunderstood he advised me about the pill because I was struggling with my two young children at the time. That was his advise . Not health related . We have a problem with Masonic priests in uk so could be that.
 
It could be that he is concerned that you are too scrupulous. It could be that he’s concerned that you’re using the confessional for attention-seeking. It could be that he’s concerned that you are priest hopping because you don’t like what the last priest told you, particularly since you don’t normally attend this parish. It could be that he’s concerned that you are too prideful. (I can’t remember the specifics, but I once read a story of a monk who had committed fornication and believed the cosmos would implode if he didn’t get to confession right away. He went to a priest and was told a reasonable penance and the guy insisted he needed a greater penance and the priest told him he was too self-important and that it was Christ that did the real work on the Cross.) It could also be that he’s concerned that if you are committing the same mortal sin every single week, your repentance might not be genuine and you might be committing the sin of presumption when you sin. Or he might think all of these could be possibilities. If I were you, I would consider trying to extend keeping your nose clean to an entire month. If you can’t, maybe work on biweekly confessions? Or you can just go to a different priest and see if you get another opinion. I wouldn’t try to make assumptions about negative motivations by the priest just because he told you something you didn’t like to hear.
 
How can you possibly know the reason the priest was moved? I’ve never heard of a bishop announcing their reasoning for moving a priest before. Are you the bishop’s eves-dropping secretary or keeping a phone tap on him or something? You seem to spend a lot of time pretending to be in someone else’s head. Is it possible your mind-reading skills aren’t a strong as you think? PS- I have two children and I’ve never contracepted in my life. Maybe the people in your parish didn’t get married at 16 and don’t consider procreation a competitive sport. If you get married in your 30s (which is quite common these days), breastfeed exclusively during infancy, and aren’t in any hurry to conceive again as quickly as humanely possible, it would be completely normal to find yourself at 40 with only two or three children.
 
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Meh, seemed more like an observation rather than a vent. Also that the majority of parisheners with small families in any given parish are using contraception is simply a statistical probability, and it does no harm to point it out.
 
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LilyM said:
Again, were you point blank told you were confessing too often?
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There was a point in my life when I had an addiction to porn and I was confessing every single day for like 3 months straight, and finally the Priest told me sternly that I was confessing too often… So I started doing weekly or bi weekly and things improved a lot…

I haven’t been to Confession since May though and haven’t been to Mass since June… I miss the Church but I have issues I’m working through… Pray for me.
 
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