Shocked at priest in confession

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I definitely know the reason the last priest was moved . It’s a shame because a lot of the time the lay persons, particularly in our area like to have control so when a priest comes in assuming he’s head of the parish it doesn’t work out. That’s a really good point about people marrying later and I don’t mean to offend people with however many children but I’m talking about two churches 5 miles from each other. We get looks from turning up with four at one as most only have one or two and the other church has an average of 6+ per family . There is a vast difference . The church with bigger families has confession available every day before each mass and during the Sunday mass for families that travel. It’s a widely known fact that 90 percent of Catholics use contraception and if anything I feel bad for catholics . I’ve been told by a priest to use contraception so I know this is going on…
 
I will pray for you and I really appreciate your replies .

He asked how often I confess and I said roughly about once a week and if it’s a mortal sin I would of course come sooner. He then said that most people only come once a month. You are probably right and I’m overreacting . It’s really hard to explain the climate out here re the church . Between me and others some places are just no go churches as it’s a known fact you ask for confession and the priests are almost confused when you request it.
 
I guess if you can’t vent on a forum when can you! Yes maybe inappropriate but it’s just seems to be part and parcel of these areas . Often no confession advertised and then you feel as though you are weird for using the sacrament ! It’s so hard to explain but as I said to another forum member there is almost an understanding over here that some churches are no go zones . It’s really hard not to draw parallels between parishes when I live five minutes from another one with frequent confessions and large families .
 
Hi and thanks for taking time to reply! I’m guessing if you are from Ireland you ‘get’ what it’s like over here re diocese in Uk. Quite similar in terms of the confession. If anything this has made me resolve possibly not to confi-hop when I’m cringing and stick to my FSSP priests . Sometimes I won’t need confession for weeks at a time but if a recurring sin crops up I don’t think it’s scrupulous to go to confession I’m spurts until it’s dealt with? Sin doesn’t have a schedule! Thoughts? Do you have access to a good parish in Ireland?
 
Hi thanks for the link, what does WIW stand for? I have come across Fr Ripperger before and he is spot on .
 
Acceber90 said:
It’s really hard to explain the climate out here re the church . Between me and others some places are just no go churches as it’s a known fact you ask for confession and the priests are almost confused when you request it.
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Lack of Confession is a MAJOR problem in todays American Church.

When the lines for Communion are literally 25 times as long as the lines for Confession, that’s a sign of a very serious problem.

Lines for Confession on Saturday should be 3 times as long as lines for Communion on Sunday.

I believe the reason for this problem is the huge amount of stress put on the Eucharist and how the Eucharist is so important, and making all the other Sacraments (besides baptism) almost “second-class Sacraments.” Especially Confession, which has been viciously attacked by the enemies of the Church - probably because satan knows that Confession is one of the most powerful Sacraments the Church has - 100% equivalent in potency with Baptism and Eucharist.

At the risk of alienating myself, I will say this: IMO, Confession is as great a Sacrament as the Eucharist - and in many cases, Confession is a much more powerful Sacrament than the Eucharist (anytime someone is in a state of sin, Confession far outweighs Communion).

The Priests and Bishops need to promulgate guidelines for Communion which stress how important it is to make Confession before receiving.

Priests need to start offering Confessions immediately before Mass on Sundays.

Preachers need to preach about the importance of Confession from the pulpit.
 
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Thanks for the reply, that’s really interesting to know about America… I agree with you completely although in a way yes the Eucharist has been pushed a lot but at the same time I think the sacredness of the Eucharist has actually been diminished a lot too. In terms of how sacred and revered it should be . A lot of sacrileges occur and many Catholics don’t believe in the true prescence . If You are not truly receiving Jesus’ body and blood or see it as a symbol like Protestants what is the need for your soul to be clean and prepared to receive him if it’s just bread anyway .
 
Actually, it’s a widely ASSUMED fact that 90% of Catholics use contraception, based on surveys that are biased because they consider anyone who self-identifies as a Catholic, even if they haven’t darkened the doorstep of any parish in a decade, and also because the way they word the question. “Have you used contraception?” garners a positive response from converts, people who had fallen away and come back to the faith, those who were poorly catecized and came to a realization of the teachings of the Church later in life, women who used the pill for medical reasons, as well as women who were required by parents to use the pill as children. If the question was worded as “Do you currently use contraception?” or “Do you accept the teaching of the Church on contraception?” and only posed to the faithful, Sunday Mass attendees you see in Mass every Sunday, I think you’d see a much smaller number. So, while there is certainly concern that there is a lack of proper catechisis on the subject, I wouldn’t go around judging every Catholic family you see with only two children and assuming they contracept, because that likely isn’t the case. I’ve attended Mass at TLM parishes as well, and while there are, in fact, large families, there are also many with only one or two children, or no children at all. There’s also a few very large families in our typical parish as well. I suspect that some large families don’t always attend Mass together every week. I know of one family in our parish who have six children, but two of them are in college and it’s very common to see one parent at one Mass with the high schoolers and one at another with the younger children. I also know another family with five children, two of which have very severe special needs and they are rarely seen all together at Mass. Except for special occasions, one parent generally stays home with the disabled children and comes at another time. I can imagine that a family with many very young children might try to divide and conquer, if possible. So again, I wouldn’t spend a lot of time assuming things about anyone.
 
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I thought FWIW meant for what it’s worth. Not sure if that was what was meant in this instance.
 
Do you have evidence of these smears against priests you toss about?

Someone is whispering ugly things in your ear. Next time someone makes an accusation about a priest, tell them that you do not want to hear it. Now, if you have a priest say something that is wrong “Acceb, you ought go on the contraceptive pill so you do not have more children” or you have witnessed a priest wearing Masonic emblems, attending the Masonic Hall, then speak directly to the Bishop.

CCC 2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:

- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;

- of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
 
Acceber90 said:
We get looks from turning up with four
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Could it possibly be that you get looks because you are new faces? That the parishioners are thinking “Look! A new family for our parish! How wonderful!!”
Acceber90 said:
I’ve been told by a priest to use contraception so I know this is going on…
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I hope that you spoke to the priest about this outside of confession, clarified what he was saying. If he then was clearly advising such, that you spoke with the Diocese.
 
Allegra said:
Actually, it’s a widely ASSUMED fact that 90% of Catholics use contraception, based on surveys that are biased because they consider anyone who self-identifies as a Catholic, even if they haven’t darkened the doorstep of any parish in a decade, and also because the way they word the question. “Have you used contraception?” garners a positive response from converts, people who had fallen away and come back to the faith, those who were poorly catecized and came to a realization of the teachings of the Church later in life, women who used the pill for medical reasons, as well as women who were required by parents to use the pill as children. If the question was worded as “Do you currently use contraception?” or “Do you accept the teaching of the Church on contraception?” and only posed to the faithful, Sunday Mass attendees you see in Mass every Sunday, I think you’d see a much smaller number.
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THIS.

In fact, a group of Catholic Bloggers conducted such a survey a few years ago. I used to keep it bookmarked for just this sort of discussion, but, had a computer crash and that was before I kept my bookmarks backed up 😦

Google has not helped me, but, I think the group of bloggers was called something like Catholic Sistas
 
I’ve never identified who this priest is and actually never revealed any of his sins because he hasn’t actually sinned. I have no clue what his sins are . As most of you have pointed out I am making wild accusations about parishioners I know nothing about so not sure what sin of detraction is going on. I’m pretty much sure half of these forums could be shut down if you applied the above teaching as the nature of a forum is to ask questions and actually say what is on your mind . I could lie and say everything was hunky dory in the church and I think all parishes are great and the world is all peace and love but that would be completely untrue . I thought anonymously safely
On a blog that’s mainly saturated people from a country a million miles away from me would actually be the safest place not to detract. By shutting people like me down you stop discussion or people correcting me which I really appreciate. My main question was has anyone else
Experienced something like this before and only one person has actually answered that. YOu make joke about the Freemasons but I’ve seen it!
 
What exactly did the priest SAY though? "You’re not confessing serious enough sins?’ "How dare you come to my confessional again so soon?’ ‘Don’t darken my door again for at least a month’? "I’m not going to absolve you because you’re just suffering from scruples’?

I’ve asked the OP point blank. As far as we know he said nothing beyond commenting that most people only come once a month. He may even have been impressed that she was confessing more often but she took it the wrong way.
 
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If the priest heard your confession and gave you absolution then all is good.

He didn’t refuse to hear your confession or tell you not to come back. If he seemed make an observation about the frequency people come to Confession in comparison to your frequency of Confession, then is that something to get that upset over? If you’re not comfortable with going to Confession with him in future then perhaps just go somewhere else.

He heard your confession and gave you absolution, rejoice and be glad of that, and then go to another priest next time if you think that would suit better.
 
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  1. Yes, I think we have a problem with not enough times for Confessions. We also have a problem with not enough priests. It’s understandable, but still upsetting and I think it’s a major stumbling block to getting to Confession in the first place (which many of us may be tempted to put off…particularly if we perceive our sins to be of a more shameful or embarrassing nature). Pressure put on priests to be everywhere and do everything may also, I think, contribute to the “don’t come so often” issue. You are certainly not the only one to have had an uncomfortable experience in Confession; I have written about mine and many people have also shared theirs. That is troubling, I agree.
  2. Yes, I had a priest say to me “Did you murder anyone yet?” every time I went to Confession until I finally just stopped going to him. Yes, I reported it to the diocese. I have no idea what ever came of it.
  3. Yes, there are contracepting Catholics. As said previously, the 90% number is obtained by slopping data gathering. I certainly wouldn’t use it to make a definitive statement about how modern Catholic women view their fertility…I just don’t think it’s accurate, although I’m sure the actual number isn’t as low as it should be.
  4. I am infertile. I am not able to have children. I could have decided to undergo invitro fertiliation and have a dozen children and you would look at me and think “What a great Catholic woman” as we file in and use up an entire pew. AS it is, I have one adopted child and, apparently, you will look at me and think “She must be contracepting, what a “bad” Catholic”. I get it, it’s easy to feel comfortable at the parish with large families because they obviously “get it” and harder to feel comfortable where the families are smaller because, surely, they must be judging you (not unlike how you are judging me,). But, if there’s one thing working closely with children and families has taught me, it’s that we have NO IDEA what kind of circumstances are present in ANY family other than our own immediate one. Those people who have fewer children may have heartaches and circumstances aplenty to “justify” their small family. If you feel more comfortable with your own family at a parish with large families, then go there. Just please…please be as kind as you can to people who may not have the same circumstances as you, even to those you assume are sinners.
 
I’m trying to imagine the sort of person who would look at me and my wife and speculate about our sex lives and whether we use contraception…

…so tell us more about yourself, @Acceber90…
 
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