Shocked at priest in confession

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Just for the record, a large family does not mean that you practice NFP. I am the mother of five kids and I was pregnant 8 times in nine years…(3 miscarriages). I used the pill and condoms, etc and still got pregnant. I considered each of the children a gift from God and we just shrugged our shoulders to the will of God. And yes, I realized my sins and refrained from Communion for years.

Many people believe we used NFP but we didn’t, we just got blessed alot…
 
ChristMyLife said:
When the lines for Communion are literally 25 times as long as the lines for Confession, that’s a sign of a very serious problem.

Lines for Confession on Saturday should be 3 times as long as lines for Communion on Sunday.
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Why do you say that lines for confession should be three times as long as lines for communion? That doesn’t make any sense at all. Should people be confessing their sins and then not receiving Holy Communion?

According to the most recent Pew Research survey, more than 60% of American Catholics who attend Mass weekly go to confession at least annually. 37% report going several times a year, with 6% going at least monthly. While those numbers could and should be better, they do show that confession is alive and well. They show that an awareness of confession and our need for it exists. It is something to build upon.
I believe the reason for this problem is the huge amount of stress put on the Eucharist and how the Eucharist is so important, and making all the other Sacraments (besides baptism) almost “second-class Sacraments.” Especially Confession, which has been viciously attacked by the enemies of the Church - probably because satan knows that Confession is one of the most powerful Sacraments the Church has - 100% equivalent in potency with Baptism and Eucharist.
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The Eucharist, as the source and summit of our faith, while not being “more important” is the goal. Confession exists to heal us and prepare us for communion with God, to support our approach to the chalice. The point of our entire Christian life is Communion with God and that is acheived through our reception of him in Holy Communion.
The Priests and Bishops need to promulgate guidelines for Communion which stress how important it is to make Confession before receiving.

Priests need to start offering Confessions immediately before Mass on Sundays.

Preachers need to preach about the importance of Confession from the pulpit.
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I agree that our bishops and priests need to talk and teach about confession. They need to preach it from the pulpit and show its importance by offering generous confession opportunities at times that their parishioners can come.

I have seen this work in my own parish. My pastor mentions confession frequently. He brings it up in, perhaps, 3 out of 5 homilies, although it isn’t always the focus of the homilies. When the readings lend themselves to it, he does preach entire homilies on confession. He brings it up in conversation with parishioners. I asked him how his recent retreat went. His answer: “I prayed, I met with my bishop, I got to nap, I had my sins forgiven. It was good.” He makes confession available as frequently as he can, given the circumstances of our parish and is very approachable for confession outside of scheduled times. Just ask and he will make himself available. I know of several parishioners who have returned to confession after many years as a direct result of his approach.

Confession on Sunday mornings is very helpful if the parish can manage it.
 
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Not judging you at all. Just trying to put myself into the Priest’s feet.

I think his mindset was more like: “if you come to confess every single week, why not first try to assess your inner self, and check what needs to be done so you don’t need to confess so often”.

As Saint Teresa of Ávila teaches us in her book: “the Way of Perfection”, we should strive to stop repeating our sins. First our mortal ones, then the venial ones, which is the way to perfection.

Also, please, don’t take me wrong. Seems a lot of judgement you are doing about the people from this other Parish. Salvation is personal, so it’s up to people to decide to do better or not.
 
Acceber90 said:
Anyone else have this kind of experience?
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I have never had the experience that you have shared, but I know what it’s like to go from one type of confessor that you find particularly helpful to another with a style that is less helpful.

When I can’t I get together with my regular Confessor, I like going to the FSSP parish. I find their priests do an excellent job in confession. They do not minimize sin, they are well-versed in moral theology and take the time to explain and ask pertinent questions. Their style helps me to make better confessions in the future.

I think you just need to be generous with this priest and grateful that he is able to give absolution in spite of any personal shortcomings he might have. God works through human beings and we are all sinners and all fallible.

It sounds to me like he was trying to help you in his own way. Since his comments were not helpful, you can walk away with gratitude for your absolution and also with the knowledge that you would return to this priest only if you find it absolutely necessary. And if you find that you need to return to confession to him, you can be grateful that God placed him there for you and remember all people who do not have easy access to the sacraments.

And pray for this priest, of course. The pastor at the local FSSP parish always ends confession by asking the penitent to pray for him.
 
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To the OP’s question: very many years ago, a priest told me I didn’t need to be at confession. I asked if there were not special graces attached to the frequent reception of the sacrament. He said there were and absolved me. I think he wanted to make sure I wasn’t being scrupulous.
 
St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori once wrote that anyone who is serious about saving his soul “…will go to confession often, at least once a week.” (He - and later Pope Pius XII - went to confession every day.)
 
Cecilia_Dympna said:
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Acceber90:
We have a problem with Masonic priests in uk so could be that.
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Also not true! Why do you believe this?
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I’m so glad you challenged the poster on those two points, Cecilia_Dympna!

I’m also in the UK, and don’t accept the sweeping statements.

Accerber90, please produce your evidence.
 
I don’t know if this applies: Bishop Sheen was talking about hearing nuns’ confessions and he said it was like being bludgeoned with feathers.

It is proper to confess mortal sins but everything is not a mortal sin. Even grave actions are not necessarily a mortal sin, as the catechism says:

[1735] Imputability and responsibility for an action can be diminished or even nullified by ignorance, inadvertence, duress, fear, habit, inordinate attachments, and other psychological or social factors.

Those who are sincerely following the spirituality path of John of the Cross or Theresa of Avila know that a person cannot easily rid themselves of all sins.

What is required of confession is to tell the priest each sin (in some generality so as not to tempt the priest to sinning in his thought) and the number of times we have committed it. I would recommend that you are prepared, even in writing, and speed through the list without explanations. Get it over with and make it so that the priest does not turn confession into a torture chamber (as P. Francis says).

We all need to be concerned with having a firm purpose of amendment – not to sin again. If we don’t have that, our confession may not be valid.

Whatever it is, you should try to spread out those sins over time so that eventually you are not sinning and having to go to confession so often.

May I suggest reading the Bible daily – and don’t give up on it. You HAVE to do something else instead of sinning, whatever it is. Turn the tv off and read. Come to this website and answer a couple questions that other people have – we have to PRACTICE holiness.
 
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I fear for the souls of those ‘Catholics’ who no longer engage with The Church; I also fear for many of the souls of those who still turn up at Mass, usually only on Sundays, and perhaps Holy Days, but who never seem to receive the sacrament of Confession, from one end of the year to the other, and yet still go forward to receive the Blessed Sacrament - all too often dressed in scanty manner, and as if they are merely in a ‘food queue’ of no particular importance - kind of doing it just because the others do.

I mourn their lack of understanding and adequate preparation for so awesome an event. As one or two of the other posters have reflected, clergy do not press the importance of confession and general preparation, BEFORE Mass, and particularly when it comes to receipt of the Body, Soul, Blood and Divinity, of Our Blessed Lord. Our Blessed Lady has spoken to visionaries, with overtones of great regret, about this.
 
I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to be a mason and a priest…
 
Here’s an interesting document about modern Catholics and how often they go to Confession. It’s pretty much what one might suspect:


By the way, this document was commissioned by the USCCB:


A key highlight:
Various social scientific studies of contemporary Catholics have revealed important differences among generations. Older Catholics, especially those who came of age prior to Vatican II, are typically more involved in Church life and attend Mass more frequently than younger generations of Catholics. In general, they tend to score higher on most survey items that measure “commitment” to Catholicism. Knowledge about the Catholic faith also varies by generation and is frequently greatest among older Catholics.
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these studies are interesting but old. I wonder just what the thoughts are now, ten years later…
 
This covers Mass attendance, but not specifically Reconciliation. I think it’s a safe bet though, that as Mass atendance would be down, Confession rate would follow.
“From 2014 to 2017, an average of 39% of Catholics reported attending church in the past seven days. This is down from an average of 45% from 2005 to 2008 and represents a steep decline from 75% in 1955.”

 
I go at least once a month but it’s your religious life so I’m not going to judge your approach to confession.
 
Our church just did out October count. Our change from one year was down 22%. That is huge. And our priest added mandatory life teen Masses and mandatory Grade level masses.
 
Blessedwithfive said:
Our church just did out October count. Our change from one year was down 22%. That is huge. And our priest added mandatory life teen Masses and mandatory Grade level masses.
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Oh dear! What’s a mandatory Life Teen Mass? Maybe that is the problem!
 
They double count the kids by springing a “Lifeteen Mass” at the time a regular class was scheduled to meet. The kids/parents who already went to Sunday Mass don’t like it but Father says it is the only way to get the kids to come. If they tell the kids ahead of time that Mass is happening before class, the kids just come late. Same with Grade level Masses…kids attend mass as part of the class whether they have already attended that day or not. So effectively people are counted twice.
 
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