Short tempered angry people

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Greenfields

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This might sound kind of funny,but along with the usual gradual physical signs of aging has come a very nice change and that is I very rarely get angry anymore …what a relief!
But the thing is,how can I help someone else when they become very angry ,what can I say that could help them?A few people I know just have so much anger that it kind of consumes them.
How can you let them see how damaging it is to themselves?
 
People won’t change unless they want to. You can’t force them. You can offer suggestions on how to reduce anger or recommend counseling, but they have to make the choice to follow your advice or seek out the counselor. As far as specific suggestions it depends too much on the person and the situation. People get angry for many different reasons. Sometimes it’s justified and sometimes it’s too much. For example, some people try to do too much which leads to stress and anger when plans don’t work out. In that situation, you might suggest that they lighten their schedule a little bit.
 
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Alright I fess up. I get angry and when I do people tend to back off and give me space…Thing is I don’t have a short temper…It takes alot to get me to the point where I have to stress how I feel. Sometimes people push one to the point you cannot take anymore or they mistake kindness for weakness. Actually I feel better getting it out instead of letting it fester inside. Sometimes I do feel awful and will try to talk it out. I do pray about it and ask for the grace to be understanding of some people…God Bless:🦋🦋🦋
 
Don’t underestimate the power of your peaceful presence.
 
I don’t think anger is necessarily a bad emotion. People have to learn to address and deal with it. I would not bother arguing with people how much their anger is justified or not, they’ll become even more angry. It is terrible to see how anger consumes people and destroys them. There is an unaddressed wound I believe angry people carry. It could be their temperament. Some people are rarely angry or bothered, this too is not automatically a virtue either.
 
I’d never argue about it…sometimes a quieter person can become a verbal punching bag though so when it is more close to home it needs addressing somehow
 
Anger is such a difficult emotion to contain as is envy, jealousy, etc. I feel sorry for those who suffer from anger, resentment, etc they cannot easily find peace. All you can do is pray for them. I’m sorry. Be happy you have the gift of peace. Many want it.
 
My mom taught me the “do unto others, as you’d have done to you” rule and I always tried to live by that. However after an incident at school,she told me I have to stick up for myself… Anger is not a bad emotion if handled right, As I said I feel better when I get it out I do not scream,rant and rave,but they get the point and we move on, 🦋🦋🦋
 
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I would first caution you not to assume people are very angry unless they tell you they are. What some people see as angry, negative, bitter etc are other people’s normal forms of expression based on their personality and culture. I have been called all of those things by people who wanted to see me that way, or people who were not used to a female who didn’t act "girly ". I actually wasn’t any of those things.

Second, assuming your judgment is right and the person is angry, give them the benefit of the doubt that they just need to blow off some steam. I know several people who are actually pretty happy with good lives but they can blow a gasket over something fairly minor they read in the newspaper or hear a boss say at work. They flare up, holler for a while and have usually set it aside within a few hours or a day. Often they grew up in a culture where emotions were expressed this way, by getting excited. They aren’t really that angry.

Third, let’s assume the person is really chronically angry. They may well have a legit reason to be angry and be working through it. We all have times in our life when somebody or something really makes us mad or disappoints us in a big way and we can’t just get over it like that. Pray for the person. If possible, let them talk to you about their anger (say something like “you seem really angry, what’s really making you mad? Tell me” and listen to them when they talk). Give them time to get past their anger. If and when they are ready, they will. Above all, don’t tell them anger is bad or unhealthy etc and to just “let it go”. I personally think anger is just something to be worked through and demonizing it just pushes it further inside, and THEN it’s unhealthy because it’s being suppressed and will just manifest in some other way like illness or acting out.
 
You’re right about the Temperaments we are given .I have to work hard at standing up for myself ,not give in to timidity
we’re all given trials with the temperament we have.Tough going sometimes
 
Amen. I sometimes I think natural reactions are demonized instead of accepted. I wish I were taught to deal feelings such as jealousy, envy, etc instead feeling shamed for feeling them. I do not think negative emotions should be glamorized but I think people face difficulty with feelings they are SUPPOSEDLY not entitled or supposed to not feel.
I hate that women are supposed to be always happy, smiling and inviting.
 
its fair enough if someone has had a bad day but for them to lash out their frustration on another is not.That is anger .
Someone who is chronically angry is not going to want to sit down and talk about it,they can be extreamly defensive which is why I have trouble letting them know how I feel.
I would never demonise their anger or make them feel bad about it but to be on the receiving end can be demoralising
 
I have to agree. No one deserves to be on the receiving end of another person’s anger. It is unfair. Uncalled for. They need to find healthier outlets
 
Someone who is chronically angry is not going to want to sit down and talk about it,they can be extreamly defensive which is why I have trouble letting them know how I feel.
It depends on the person. I worked with a couple of chronically angry guys. One of them decide to tell me his life history one day which involved a traumatic suicide of a parent and other things. I did not really invite the convo, I guess he just thought I appeared sympathetic or he just really needed to vent so he just told me all this stuff out of the blue at lunch hour.

I will say however that none of these people were chronically angry AT ME. When a person is angry AT YOU then your mind rightly goes to self preservation and avoidance. Many angry people I have known were angry at something other than me, like their exes, their boss, their situation in life.
 
This might sound kind of funny,but along with the usual gradual physical signs of aging has come a very nice change and that is I very rarely get angry anymore …what a relief!
But the thing is,how can I help someone else when they become very angry ,what can I say that could help them?A few people I know just have so much anger that it kind of consumes them.
How can you let them see how damaging it is to themselves?
Yes.I dont anger easily either. For myself, when I do get angry, people know it’s for a good reason. If soneone has an angry response to everything it’s hard to take them seriously.

I can quietly assert myself, and that I think is hard for angry types to deal with.

Experience has shown me that agressive angry types usually meet thier match and the results,usually are not good for either person.
 
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