Should 2 Catholics get married in a non-Catholic Church...?

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IlovemyChurch

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I was wondering if I could have the opinion of strong faithful Catholics regarding a mini-dilemma I have about where to get married…

Both myself and my fiance are young strong Catholics in our early 20s and hope to be married next summer (2006).
As my soon-to-be-husband is a member of King’s College, Cambridge (England) we have the rare option avaliable only to King’s College students, of being married in the famous King’s College Chapel (those of you who are English will certainly know it, and those of you who have visited England have probably visited it. Here’s a link:
kings.cam.ac.uk/chapel/ )

This Chapel was built by Henry VI in 1441, and he was obviously Catholic. However, after the Protestant Reformation the Chapel became Protestant and now it is an Anglican Chapel.

anyway, basically to cut a long story short, it is a beautiful chapel and of course, it would be like a fairy-tale to have my wedding there!
Also, more importantly, we would be allowed to celebrate mass in the Chapel.

The problem is though that I am feeling a bit uncertain of whether it’s a good idea to get married in a non-Catholic Church at all…no tabernacle present for one thing…etc.

What do people think? Would you do it?
Am I making a big deal out of nothing or is this not the best way to start a good Christ-centred marriage between 2 people who dearly and sincerely love the Catholic Church and her teachings?
(actually…does the Catholic Church teach anything specific about this…?)

Advice and words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you,

21 year old Catholic bride-to-be
 
It is permissable I believe. I think you may need a dispensation from the bishop though.

Not sure though.
 
What a pretty place for a wedding. I wonder if you could get a dispensation. Good luck in all your planning!!!
 
Even though this might be a beautiful place for a wedding, I think you might regret it in your later years if you did not get married in a Catholic church. There are many beautiful Catholic churches in the world, and I would wait until you could marry in one of them instead. I think ultimately it would mean more to you as Catholics. Just my opinion!
 
There’s still time!
  1. MAKE THEM GIVE IT BACK TO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.
  2. THEN TURN IT OVER TO THE FSSP.
  3. WED AT A CATHOLIC HIGH MASS.
    (That’s what I did…nothing more fantastic that a Traditional High Mass. You REALLY know you are married FOREVER.)
ps. Wear knee pads.
 
no way…

i would only agee if the Church were returned to the Catholic Church, and since you and I aren’t likely to see that happen anytime soon, i would suggest a beautiful Catholic Church here in America…

the Bascilica in Washington DC would be a grand and beautiful place, since distance doesn’t seem to be an issue… IMHO
 
One thing you did you answer, granted it is an Anglican church, but who is conducting the marriage service? Is it a Catholic priest or deacon? Or is it an Anglican one?
 
Dear all,

thanks very much for all your advice! I can see that the idea is not thought of too highly…!

stbruno…yes, the wedding mass would definitly be celebrated by (more than one) Catholic priest.

So that’s the thing…it would be a pure Catholic wedding mass in all senses…bar the fact that the building wouldn’t be a consecrated Catholic Church…

hmmmmmm…well, back to the ol’ rosary beads for me, praying for some divine inspiration! 🙂

thanks again!
 
If it is a Catholic marriage being performed by a Catholic priest or concelebrated by Catholic priests with permission by the bishop, it probably would be acceptable. You still need to go through all the marriage processes particularly witness affadavits, Cana prep etc.and maybe get a dispensation from canonical form depending on what the bishop requires to allow you to be married in this church.

Go to your pastor and see what needs to be done to appropriately be married in the Catholic faith.
 
What a lovely place - see the local Bishop to know if a dispensation can be gained in England for this, then decide from there. Congrats!
 
There are several questions you need to answer before I could give an opinion.
  1. This is a College chapel - do they have Mass for Catholics there and services for Church of England and other Protestants?
  2. Have you checked with the local Catholic Bishop to see if you would need a dispensation to get married in this setting?
  3. Do you have a Priest in mind who would officiate at your wedding? If you do, then he is the one who can most readily help you with this decision.
I am coming from being an Air Force brat who attended Mass at a Base Chapel and was Confirmed in a Base Chapel which the Catholics shared with other Protestants. Interestingly enough, there were Catholic Mass times and Protestant Service times (they were not broken down into - Lutheran, Presbyterian etc.) There were couples married in these Chapels by Priests. There were couples married in these Chapels who were marreid by a minister.

Just one more point of view to think about as you and your fiance go about making this decision. Remember the Wedding is just a day and the Marriage is for life!

Brenda V.
 
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stbruno:
maybe get a dispensation from canonical form depending on what the bishop requires to allow you to be married in this church.
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Only the Pope can give two Catholics a dispensation from canonical form, i.e., from the requirement that they marry before a Catholic priest.

In this case, what is needed is a dispensation from place (canon 1118), which the bishop can provide.

Personally, I think it is a wonderful idea to marry at King’s College Chapel, if the permissions can be worked out. The Catholic priest who will perform the marriage should know what has to be done.
 
Brenda V.:
There are several questions you need to answer before I could give an opinion.
  1. This is a College chapel - do they have Mass for Catholics there and services for Church of England and other Protestants? .
Click to expand...
routinely only Anglican services are held there.
But occasionally (like, once every few years) they allow the Catholic Priest for the University to celebrate mass there. We have also informally asked the Anglican minister of the Chapel whether it would be possible for us to hold a wedding mass, and he said most likely yes.
Brenda V.:
  1. Have you checked with the local Catholic Bishop to see if you would need a dispensation to get married in this setting? .
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no, not yet. I am still trying to discern whether it’s even a good idea and how much I want to!
Brenda V.:
  1. Do you have a Priest in mind who would officiate at your wedding? If you do, then he is the one who can most readily help you with this decision…
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yeh, I considered asking the Priest instead but he is very busy in general, and I thought I’d test the waters first to see what other’s think.

many thanks again for this, and everyone else’s useful comments!
 
IloveMyChurch,

Contact the local Bishop’s office and ask if someone can tell you whether you can get a dispensation to have your Wedding in the Christ the King Chapel. If the answer is no then you know where to go from there, if the answer is yes, then you are no worse off than you were before about the decision.

Don’t worry about whether the Bishop’s office is busy or not, this is one of the routine quesitons they should be dealing with and should be able to be answered by staff.

Of course, once you decide and you choose to go for Christ the King Chapel then you will have to contact the Priest who will officiate at your Wedding and he is the one who has to take care of all the dispensations 😃

Brenda V.
 
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IlovemyChurch:
So that’s the thing…it would be a pure Catholic wedding mass in all senses…bar the fact that the building wouldn’t be a consecrated Catholic Church…
Click to expand...
Actually, I suspect it might be in a consecrated Catholic Church. It would have been consecrated prior to it’s first use by Henry IV. The fact that it was stolen by the British does not make it an evil place. It is still dedicated to God.

Should the church be returned to the Church, it would probably be re-consecrated.

I voted know before reading the thread and figured by non-catholic you meant, a non-catholic ceremony in a non-catholic church. I change my vote, think it would be a nice place to wed.
 
not as a general rule, but a believe there is a dispensation possible for a situation such as you describe, for instance, I heard of a Catholic wedding conducted by a priest in the chapel of the Naval Academy at Annapolis. One of the many issues better taken up with the priest who prepares you for marriage, not left to the personal opinions of your fellow forum inmates.
 
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puzzleannie:
not as a general rule, but a believe there is a dispensation possible for a situation such as you describe, for instance, I heard of a Catholic wedding conducted by a priest in the chapel of the Naval Academy at Annapolis. One of the many issues better taken up with the priest who prepares you for marriage, not left to the personal opinions of your fellow forum inmates.
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all it takes is one little ole Bishop to solve the problem…👍
 
I would keep my marriage in a Catholic church. That’s just my opinion.

Eamon
 
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IlovemyChurch:
routinely only Anglican services are held there.
But occasionally (like, once every few years) they allow the Catholic Priest for the University to celebrate mass there.
Click to expand...
That’s very big of them.

Of course, the Anglican schism was precipitated by Henry VIII’s self-indulgent divorce and insistence on remarriage. Perhaps an Anglican “church” is not the most auspicious place to begin your marriage…
 
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IlovemyChurch:
We have also informally asked the Anglican minister of the Chapel whether it would be possible for us to hold a wedding mass, and he said most likely yes.
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What more do you need to know? Catholic Priest, Catholic Mass. For Pete’s sake, they let Catholics get married in hotels . . .

The only other question is, will they let you have the choir? 😉
 
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