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Marcellinus
Guest
Do you think a Catholic man should ask the father of the girl he is dating before he proposes to her?
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K
kmktexas
Guest
Short and sweet “YES”
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Faustina
Guest
Agreed!!
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StratusRose
Guest
Why not? It probably earns major brownie points.
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cwby-flyer
Guest
Yes, assuming she’s living at home or perhaps college. At my age (and my fiance’s) it seemed a bit odd, so I didn’t and talking later she agreed with my choice.
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pnewton
Guest
It would earn him respect and help start the in-law relationship on the right foot.
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TreeHugger
Guest
My fiance did. I think it also depends on the relationship your gf has with her father. if the father is probably opposed (for ex, doesn’t have the same understanding of marriage as Catholics, and thinks of marriage as the end of his daughter’s life), u might think twice. my dad was kind of on the middle line, and i had to talk with him after we got engaged, explaining how we planned on doing things (e.g. finishing school, etc.) Lucky for me, he recognizes the power of faith, and can see thru the garbage society feeds.
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felra
Guest
Absolutely, with exceptions: deceased, drunk and/or living on an different planet; and if Father is deemed questionable to give the blessing for non-valid reasons, assert the question in a statement sounding phrase. 
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Mperea75
Guest
+JMJ
Yes you should ask the dad. And then after you ask the dad and she say’s yes then I would go to the priest and ask for a blessing on the engagement that it remains holy, pure and chaste.
Yes you should ask the dad. And then after you ask the dad and she say’s yes then I would go to the priest and ask for a blessing on the engagement that it remains holy, pure and chaste.
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Marcellinus
Guest
Absolutely, with exceptions: deceased, drunk and/or living on an different planet; and if Father is deemed questionable to give the blessing for non-valid reasons, assert the question in a statement sounding phrase.
LOL!
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Pinklady
Guest
Only if she’s a minor and needs parental approval to marry.
Otherwise it’s not necessary if she’s an adult and can decide for herself.
Otherwise it’s not necessary if she’s an adult and can decide for herself.
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Joan_M
Guest
No. You should ask her first.
If my father had still been alive at the time my husband asked me to marry him and he asked my father first I would have been mad. Who is he looking to marry? Not her father! Ask the young lady. If she says yes, then speak to the father telling him that you have asked her to be your wife and that you would like his blessing.
This custom stems from the days when women were considered property - of their father first, and then of their husband. A man had to ask her father for permission then.
If my father had still been alive at the time my husband asked me to marry him and he asked my father first I would have been mad. Who is he looking to marry? Not her father! Ask the young lady. If she says yes, then speak to the father telling him that you have asked her to be your wife and that you would like his blessing.
This custom stems from the days when women were considered property - of their father first, and then of their husband. A man had to ask her father for permission then.
K
kage_ar
Guest
Think about when you have a daughter, she will be your precious child (no matter her age), and you will be so protective of her. How much would it mean to you if a young man came and asked for your blessing before he popped the question… Then, act with the respect to her father in the way you want your future son-in-law to act.
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Benedictus
Guest
I’d tell him to ask her first (unless he’s a total scumbag or something, but he’d probably know my feelings about him by then). A daughter isn’t my property.
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Galieo
Guest
I did. Although the way I discussed the intended proposal was more, “This is what I intend to do (e.g., propose), do you have any problems or concerns with me that we should discuss first.” Not exactly asking for his permission point-blank, but it gives them (both mother and father) an opportunity to talk about anything that is on their minds.
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Ghostgirl
Guest
Is she his property? Ask her, not the dad!
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mkw
Guest
what a wonderfully sweet idea. A father is a little girls “first boyfriend”, (20 yrs ago all would know how I mean this). A father loved-fed-clothed-housed-protected his little girl, no greater respect can be shown than to first ask him.
That being said though, like others have posted, there are always factors to be considered. Let common sense prevail in such matters.
And to the one who said to have to priest bless the engagement. What a Terrific Idea and very smart thinking.
That being said though, like others have posted, there are always factors to be considered. Let common sense prevail in such matters.
And to the one who said to have to priest bless the engagement. What a Terrific Idea and very smart thinking.
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BLB_Oregon
Guest
I want to tell you a story. I was at a wedding once, and it was noted that most fathers-of-the-bride look a little as if they are at a funeral. I asked a relative there who had a six-month-old daughter who in the world he thought would be good enough for her to marry… and he could include himself and any of his immediate family.
He racked his brains, and it took him two weeks to come up with a single person. (And it wasn’t him.)
You might try this: tell her father that you aregoing to ask her to marry you, then ask him, as the head of this family you want to join, what he and his wife will expect of you and hope to have from you if your daughter chooses you for their son-in-law. It lets him know that you put the opinion of your wife before all others, but put her family’s feelings very high on your list, all the same. It will also allow you to tell your perspective wife that you’ve done your homework as to what you might be in for, and you’re on board, anyway!
He racked his brains, and it took him two weeks to come up with a single person. (And it wasn’t him.)
You might try this: tell her father that you aregoing to ask her to marry you, then ask him, as the head of this family you want to join, what he and his wife will expect of you and hope to have from you if your daughter chooses you for their son-in-law. It lets him know that you put the opinion of your wife before all others, but put her family’s feelings very high on your list, all the same. It will also allow you to tell your perspective wife that you’ve done your homework as to what you might be in for, and you’re on board, anyway!
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1ke
Guest
Yes.
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Bruised_Reed
Guest
No, this is a tradition that harkens back to when women were treated as though they were property. It would be appropriate if the girl were a minor as someone noted.
I think when some of these traditons are used or brought back there is a sense of trying to bring back a simpler time. Fine, but let’s not bring back those traditions that smack of opression.
I think there is something similar in the “courtship movement.” A young man asks the dad if he can date the daughter, dad goes to daughter and gets her thoughts and then dad tells the young man yea or nay. It’s still the young woman’s choice. I think this practice has some merit. Though I sometimes don’t think families who do the courship thing don’t know what they are doing.
I think when some of these traditons are used or brought back there is a sense of trying to bring back a simpler time. Fine, but let’s not bring back those traditions that smack of opression.
I think there is something similar in the “courtship movement.” A young man asks the dad if he can date the daughter, dad goes to daughter and gets her thoughts and then dad tells the young man yea or nay. It’s still the young woman’s choice. I think this practice has some merit. Though I sometimes don’t think families who do the courship thing don’t know what they are doing.
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