Should a man with an overly healthy libido get married or stay single?

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johnsmith2025

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If a man is thinking about the possibility of being in a relationship, and he has a high libido, but he doesn’t want to be a burden (intimately) on a potential woman in his life, would it be better if he simply decides to stay single? Or should he still pursue a relationship with the hope of marriage and take his chances on being a burden on her with his high libido? It can be very frustrating to try to will away erections when they happen with great frequency, and one doesn’t want to be a burden in a loving, healthy marriage.
 
🤨 You are aware that it’s not only men who have “overly healthy” libidos, right?
 
Some posts - it seems to me - are written with an underlying assumption that women, in general, don’t enjoy sex.

Original poster, you might try finding a female who also has a high libido and then marry her.
 
Also assuming that the person will be 17 or 22 years old forever.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Also assuming that the person will be 17 or 22 years old forever.
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Actually, that’s a bit of an old wive’s tale. (the whole men at 18, women at 30) Depending on a man’s makeup, he may experience a high libido well into his 40’s. Woman’s libido tends to be cyclical with her cycle throughout her entire life.
 
johnsmith2025 said:
he has a high libido, but he doesn’t want to be a burden (intimately) on a potential woman in his life,
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Two things-- women can and do also have high libidos, and sex drive tends to wane with age and life in general. There are exceptions of course, but I don’t see this as a problem. You are over thinking this. It’s something to talk about with a person you become serious about, among other things.
 
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Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Actually, that’s a bit of an old wive’s tale. (the whole men at 18, women at 30) Depending on a man’s makeup, he may experience a high libido well into his 40’s. Woman’s libido tends to be cyclical with her cycle throughout her entire life.
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True…I’m nearly 30 and I dont feel like my libido has changed much in 10 years. I do find doing a sport or working out tends to get rid of some of that energy though.

There’s also the classic…a cold shower. 😂
 
What does said single man do with his excess libido that he cant also do when his wife isnt in the mood?
 
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Goes for aforementioned cold shower or a vigourous workout.

In my case I go kayaking and work on my roll.
 
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Hyperbole to make a point.

The libido ebbs and flows in life. Believe me, after 3 decades of marriage, one has a bit of experience. The stress of job, career, job losses, money, priorities, raising children and a million other things will energize or zap the libido.

Same as telling a parent with 3 kids under four to remember they will not always be that young and needy, an unmarried person needs to remember that life and age changes things.
 
Fasting is how we bring our body under control in general.

Scripture talks about bringing our body into submission:

From 1st Corinthians:

"Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win. Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one.

Thus I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing.

No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified."

Earlier in the same chapter married couples are told to fast when they abstain from relations.

Exercise, a solid prayer life, an accountability partner, frequent confession, avoiding media or friends who flame your desires (for instance, playing video games that feature hyper-sexualized images or watching ‘Game of Thrones’ might not be the BEST idea).

Learn about fasting. Do some study in Scripture about self mastery.
 
That’s a bit uncharitable.
It is fine to tell a parent they won’t be young forever.
It’s called PERSPECTIVE. Some people need it because they get so lost in the now.
And it’s really the same thing.
 
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Maybe learn how to not be so preachy. Just sayin’ :roll_eyes:

An “accountability partner” for abstaining from sex. I guess now I’ve heard it all.

:crazy_face:
 
AdamPeter said:
True…I’m nearly 30 and I dont feel like my libido has changed much in 10 years. I do find doing a sport or working out tends to get rid of some of that energy though.

There’s also the classic…a cold shower. 😂
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I think there’s a lot of men out there who find themselves single and frustrated in their 30’s because their libido has only gotten worse or has remained the same. They then infer, incorrectly, that they must have it worse than all other men because hey, they’re far past 18 and still going strong. Sex ed couldn’t of been wrong, right?

Nah…it’s normal. Totally normal.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
I think there’s a lot of men out there who find themselves single and frustrated in their 30’s because their libido has only gotten worse or has remained the same. They then infer, incorrectly, that they must have it worse than all other men because hey, they’re far past 18 and still going strong. Sex ed couldn’t of been wrong, right?

Nah…it’s normal. Totally normal.
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Yeah…I’m married though. But that doesn’t mean that I’m immune from having to distract myself sometimes.
 
AdamPeter said:
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Xanthippe_Voorhees:
I think there’s a lot of men out there who find themselves single and frustrated in their 30’s because their libido has only gotten worse or has remained the same. They then infer, incorrectly, that they must have it worse than all other men because hey, they’re far past 18 and still going strong. Sex ed couldn’t of been wrong, right?

Nah…it’s normal. Totally normal.
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Yeah…I’m married though. But that doesn’t mean that I’m immune from having to distract myself sometimes.
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Yep, I remember that you got married…almost a year ago now, right? Or was it this spring?

Either way, having good facts about our bodies, to me, is a help, not a hinderance to understanding ourselves.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Fasting is how we bring our body under control in general.
Learn about fasting. Do some study in Scripture about self mastery.
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AdamPeter said:
Goes for aforementioned cold shower or a vigourous workout.

In my case I go kayaking and work on my roll.
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Indeed, but I was really asking the OP how he alleviated the issue as a single man and why he couldn’t still do this in marriage as well at times he was “overburdening” his wife. His question is a little confusing.
 
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Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Yep, I remember that you got married…almost a year ago now, right? Or was it this spring?

Either way, having good facts about our bodies, to me, is a help, not a hinderance to understanding ourselves.
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Yeah…it’ll be a year on the 24th Oct. Best…year…ever. 😄

I agree completely with you.
 
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