Should baby's father attend baptism?

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Is it considered scandalous for a man who denies his catholic upbringing and professes to be atheist to stand at his child’s baptism and go through the motions? My friends, family and pastor are all aware of his behavior and beliefs contrary to our faith.
 
Even atheists know to do the right thing.

Sometimes you have to do the right thing even if you don’t have the feelings.

He should not be a godparent to the child, but if he is supporting his wife in letting her raise the child Catholic, then he should be there.
 
Momma5 said:
Is it considered scandalous for a man who denies his catholic upbringing and professes to be atheist to stand at his child’s baptism and go through the motions? My friends, family and pastor are all aware of his behavior and beliefs contrary to our faith.
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unless the other parent has given firm assurance that the child will be raised in the faith, the child’s baptism must be delayed until such time as that assurance is forthcoming. The scandal is baptizing an infant when there is no possibility that the child will be educated and raised in the faith. Why on earth would someone with those principles even want to attend?

reminds me of the old tales of Don Camillo, the fiesty northern Italian priest, and his old friend from the days in the resistance, the communist mayor of the town, Peppone and his henchman, Varro I think. Varro got his girlfriend pregnant (because of course communists believe in free love). The girls father had other ideas, and the man had to sneak in to get married in the church, and sneak back in to witness his child’s baptism. The old priest’s confrontation with the man’s boss was memorable.
 
Momma5 said:
Is it considered scandalous for a man who denies his catholic upbringing and professes to be atheist to stand at his child’s baptism and go through the motions? My friends, family and pastor are all aware of his behavior and beliefs contrary to our faith.
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If he isn’t the one making the promises on behalf of the child, yes, he should be there.

If the other parent isn’t Catholic, no, he should not.
 
Would his presence “siphon off” some of God’s grace and make it an incomplete Baptism? No.
 
I don’t understand why the father should not attend the baptism? We have many parents who are not Catholic attend their child’s baptism, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists…they do not make the promises on behalf of their child, the Catholic spouse does, but this is an important day in the child’s life and the non-Catholic or even non-Christian parent should not be denied participating. It could even be a moment of great evangelization and who knows what the future might bring for that person…a conversion maybe?
 
a_priori said:
Would his presence “siphon off” some of God’s grace and make it an incomplete Baptism? No.
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no it will have no effect on the validity and completeness of the baptism, which depend on God’s grace and Christ’s saving action on our behalf, not upon the action of the witnesses.
 
a_priori said:
Would his presence “siphon off” some of God’s grace and make it an incomplete Baptism? No.
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😃

But maybe that’d be a GOOD thing. 😉 …the siphoning part, not the notion of the baptism being incomplete.
 
puzzleannie said:
reminds me of the old tales of Don Camillo, the fiesty northern Italian priest, and his old friend from the days in the resistance, the communist mayor of the town, Peppone and his henchman, Varro I think. Varro got his girlfriend pregnant (because of course communists believe in free love). The girls father had other ideas, and the man had to sneak in to get married in the church, and sneak back in to witness his child’s baptism. The old priest’s confrontation with the man’s boss was memorable.
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These are some of my favorite books, and yes, it does sound like the Don Camillo books.
 
Thank you to everyone who responded.

I think more central to my dilemma is the situation that led to our marital separation in the first place and the potential for more drama and hurt feelings.
 
Joe_Kelley said:
See Don Camillo online.
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And this is the very chapter in question:

http://members.tripod.com/~vajrang/world/baptism.html

I still wouldn’t worry about hurt feelings. He is the child’s father. If he wants to attend the baptism, let him. If he doesn’t, fine as well. If he does attend and makes a fuss and causes hate and discontent, well, everybody will see how he behaves, and Father can request that he leave. Unless your estranged husband plans on tipping over the baptismal font, harming you or the baby, or perhaps engaging in fistcuffs with the priest;) why borrow trouble.
 
Mass and sacraments of the Catholic Church are public worship, so anyone is welcome and does not require an invitation. Even confession is part of public worship, because the priest represents the whole Church, with whom we are reconciled, although of course no one else is physically present, except him and the penitent.

No one can be denied admittance to a Catholic wedding, baptism, confirmation, first communion. If you anticipate some potential guests may be disruptive, warn the priest who will officiate and he will help you handle it. whooosh first communions are coming up and we deal with this situation every year and I have to take the parents through this. the last thing you want to happen is an occasion of grace and joy for your child become a part of the disagreements playing out between the parents.
 
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