I teach baptism classes at my church, and you have my wholehearted sympathies on the childcare front! It can be rough.
I don’t know if you could give a lot of specific information and expect it to be all that is needed for a couple that might not have kids for a while, but you make a good point - parents need to understand the importance of raising their chidlren in the faith BEFORE they get married. This instruction should be very seriously and thoroughly addressed in marriage prep, considering it is one of the 2 ends of marriage.
I would kick a b&%$# with the pastor, and with the bishop if necessary, if there was anything standing in the way of getting the child I was expecting baptized far sooner than two months after birth. What possible excuse can there be for that?
confused. CAF members gave me some very helpful advice, and although I tried calling again and explaining why I’d like to take the classes early I got the same story.Yes, the classes should be available prior to the child’s birth. The parish could stipulate that the baptism had to be scheduled with the parish office within a year (or six months, or whatever) of when the classes were taken, or else taken again.I actually started a thread about this issue a few months ago. Basically my parish won’t put you in the classes until you’ve already had your baby, and also will not allow me to bring him to the class when he is born
It makes me rather upset, because I want to get him baptized as soon as possible (and we’re supposed to!) but it is going to be delayed because the next class is only a week or two after I’m due, and I’m not leaving him at a week old. So then I have to wait for the next one, find someone to watch him, and then baptisms aren’t scheduled until a month or two after you’ve completed the class. So he’ll be 3-4 months before he’s baptized, which is just really disconcerting to me. I’d rather have a private baptism if it was allowed, just to have it done sooner.
Anyway, I do like your idea of adding them to pre-cana classes. Or at the very least allowing parents to take them before their kids are born. The whole thing is really absurd, and I can’t understand it.
Canon law only requires that your pastor be satisfied that you and the sponsors are properly disposed prior to dispensing the sacrament to your child. The Church does not require a formal class to accomplish that. There are bishops who require it or who give pastors in their diocese the authority to require it, however.
Yes, that is crazy and backwards to not allow you to prepare ahead of time. However, if you do end up having to go to a class after the baby is born, DO NOT ask for permission to bring your baby with you to any church class or event. In my opinion, no mother should EVER have to ask permission to bring a baby that is less than a couple months old, anywhere (unless there is a safety risk to the baby). That baby is just as (well almost, esp. for a nursing baby) dependent on you as when you were pregnant, and you didn’t have to ask to bring it before it was born! It is probably a common mistake for first time parents, to ask that question - but if you don’t ask, and just show up with a newborn in a car seat or a wrap, it would be shocking for anyone to send you home. Naturally, if the baby cries or otherwise distracts the other people at the class (which is unlikely with a newborn) you can leave the room momentarily, and your husband will fill you in on what you missed. Asking permission implies that someone has the right to tell you no. Which they don’t, so don’t ask.
When I teach these classes and parents bring babies, I explicitly announce at the start of class that the babies are as welcome as their parents, and that parents should do whatever they need to in order to make the babies more comfy, whether that be pacing/bouncing/nursing/giving a bottle/stepping outside for a few minutes/whatever. I also say that everyone in the room is either a parent or godparent, so no one should feel embarrassed if a baby cries, fills its diaper loudly, or whatever during the class, 'cause we’ve all been there.
Except in the rare case where the problem is the fear of retribution, always talk to the pastor first. The best case is when the pastor solves miscommunications about these policies himself, without anyone going to the bishop. When a parish’s policy seems to violate canon law, having the pastor clarify this with the staff often solves everything quickly and easily.
I can see the pastor feeling it necessary to find out if parents are properly disposed for each baptism. That is diligence. I cannot imagine having him put you through the same baptism class five times in any number of years. That is too much. As you point out, the time of the parents of small children is too scarce to waste it.
The bolded above is what I’d recommend. Our archdiocese requires that the class be done every five years to be either a parent or a godparent. Frankly, I think it’s ridiculous. The basic theology should be remembered by everyone who took the class once, and the canon law type stuff (get your kid baptized soon, godparents need to not be bound by canonical impediment, etc) could be condensed into a single-page handout to be given to expectant parents at the church office.
I agree. Both parishes in our town have the rule that the class “expires” after 2 years. Well, it’s pretty common to have babies two or more years apart. Literally, if you had 8 kids all born 25 months apart from one another, you’d have to take the class 8 times. Outrageous. At that point you could TEACH the darn class (and trust me, it’s nothing special - very much geared toward C&E Catholics.) That’s why we circumvent the parish, now.
Yep, in our archdiocese both parents and godparents are required to attend the class. Again, I find this silly, especially since a) not all godparents come from within the diocese and b) not all dioceses even require or offer classes. To top it all off, I was once told that classes from outside the diocese “won’t count,” which led a lot of pushback from me when DD was getting baptized. I’m sorry, but it is not reasonable to expect people to drive four hours in each direction twice before the baptism even happens. When I initially suggested that the godparents in my case just get a letter from their pastor saying that they’re Catholics in good standing and understand the sacrament, I was told that that wouldn’t do. Interestingly, when I asked just where in canon law this requirement for driving four hours each way was, that letter suddenly became quite sufficient.
I did some research after that, and it seems that this nit-picking is, shall we say, a parish issue rather than a diocesan, though the diocese seems to require these classes in general.