Should children be given prizes for attending Mass?

[everfaith]

I am struggling with my parish’s incentive program to increase Mass attendance. I understand this to be a problem and know the intentions are good. However, I feel this is sending the wrong message. Our First Communion children and their parents are required to sign in at Mass, and if they do, the children get a prize at school. I don’t think this is right, but I do not wish to talk to the priest directly, as I do not wish to alienate my child. But I am very concerned about the message this is sending, especially to those already losing their faith. First Communion is a wonderous event, that, it seems, is being used as a forum to criticize the parents. Am I way off base here?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Am I way off base here?

You are not off base in your understanding that prizes for Mass attendance are out of line, but I think you are off base in your unwillingness to talk to the priest about it, presumably because this will in some way “alienate” your child. While I sympathize with your desire not to cause embarrassment for your child, you need to teach your child how to recognize genuine problems and deal with them in a courageous, constructive manner. Being unwilling to do anything only teaches your child to become a collaborator in problems rather than learn how to act heroically.

Catholics have the right to attend any Mass they wish on Sundays and holy days of obligation (cf. canon 1248 §1, Code of Canon Law). They are not required to attend Sunday Mass at the parish where they are registered or where their children are being prepared for the sacraments. To reward some children for attending Mass at this particular parish while punishing others for not doing so, particularly when the choice to attend Mass at that parish is the parents’ and not the child’s, seems to me to border on emotional cruelty toward the children and unjust emotional manipulation of the parents. I hope that once the situation is brought to the attention of the proper ecclesial authorities, the practice of requiring sign-ins and distributing prizes to cooperators will be stopped immediately. If the pastor is unreceptive to your concerns, write to the bishop. If need be, I recommend that you consult with the St. Joseph Foundation.