Should Children Go To The "Quite Mass"?

  • Thread starter Thread starter weepixie71
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
W

weepixie71

Guest
I have 4 beautiful children 13, 6, 4, and 2. My youngest Bernadette is a admittedly a handful. Tantrums, kicking, biting, smacking, screaming, etc. She has made huge strides though lately since I have been punishing her with a 3min nose on the wall.
My whole family loves the Tridentine Mass but we only have one mass time and one location. The next closest location is over 1hr away. We also do not have a crying room. We have a vestibule but there is not speaker in the back so I can not hear. A lot of the time my husband was to work on Sundays and I have to take my children all by myself so when I go I always sit in the back for those mad dashes to the vestibule while I watch my other children through a tall glass door.
Today a nun told me today I was being selfish because I wanted to bring my daughter for the graces one gets from mass meanwhile everyone else including the priest can not meditate. I noticed that this nun was by herself sitting in the back of the church right across from us. I suggested that maybe she should try sitting in the front of the church because others say up front they hardly hear her.
Her response was then that I should consider that the devil is making my daughter act in such a way to disrupt the mass. So I responded with maybe the devil is tempting you in such a way to discourage me from bringing my children to mass to prevent them from getting graces they need to become saints.
She said then that the way my daughter was acting was abnormal… I interrupted her right there and said “How many 2yr olds have you been around? If my 13yr old and my 6yr old can meditate through mass I am sure you are capable of doing it also.”
She then stormed off.
I am so upset with myself because I did not handle that as well as I should have.
I immediately asked father if I should leave Bernadette at home and he said absolutely not.

Am I being selfish and father being too polite to tell me otherwise? Is this nun right? 🤷
When I was arguing I was so sure of myself, now I am not sure. I would love to hear your opinions.
 
No, this nun was wrong. This whole situation reminds me of when the little children tried to approach Christ and the Apostles made the mistake of obstructing them. Do you remember how Christ responded? He welcomed the children and told the Apostles not to despise the little ones who believe in him. If anything you are doing a wonderful thing in briging up your children in the Tradition of the Catholic Church! 👍
 
Keep bringing your child to Mass! Little children do not distract me in Mass unless the mother is openly neglectful. How are children ever supposed to learn how to behave in church if they are kept away? I find it refreshing to see parents who bring their children into the church instead of stuffing them in specialized play or cry rooms.

The only person being selfish was the nun.
 
I also go to the Tridentine Mass and I think it’s fine to bring your children there. Today at Mass, a young child was crying and screaming for most of it, but people still prayed and the priest seemed undistrurbed. Personally, it doesn’t bother me when kids aren’t quiet at church… it only bothers me when adults aren’t quiet, lol. If someone is annoyed, I think that may be a trial for them to grow in patience 😃 I wouldn’t argue with the nun anymore, I think it might be best to just pray 🙂

God bless
 
My mom was a firm believer that a child’s place was in the pew and not behind a wall (for the same reasons you described). If we made noise, she took us into the vestibule until we calmed down. Otherwise we sat in the pew with the adults. Even when we were old enough to join the rest of the children for “our own liturgy of the word” in a separate room (I was raised on the OF), my mom never allowed us to go.

I know this was a sore spot for her too. The first parish she attended with a child had a priest who was not very approving of having small children outside the cry room. Just the potential for noise sounded like it was an issue with him. Yet my mom always had us in the sanctuary as long as she was able.
 
Yep, I take my two girls (4 and 2) to Tridentine mass:

Kids are sponges, they soak it in. If the priest is worth his salt, he won’t mind the noise; he’ll be glad people young enough to HAVE kids are coming at all. 🙂
 
Kit15 said:
My mom was a firm believer that a child’s place was in the pew and not behind a wall (for the same reasons you described). If we made noise, she took us into the vestibule until we calmed down. Otherwise we sat in the pew with the adults. Even when we were old enough to join the rest of the children for “our own liturgy of the word” in a separate room (I was raised on the OF), my mom never allowed us to go.
Click to expand...
I don’t have kids yet, but when I do I hope I can approach Mass this way. I think it is important that kids come to Mass. But I also think parents should be mindful of how distracting their kids can be to others and take them out (if possible) if they make too much noise. I’m not talk about a little chatter or crying, but when they start to howl and scream. I think we all know the difference between normal childlike behavior and very disruptive behavior.

I like the idea of children not having their own liturgy but sitting with the entire congregation. They may not understand it, but they also learn that this is how Mass works and it deserves respect. In general, kids just need to learn how to sit quietly through things and Mass being no exception. I think when kids understand that they are expected to be quiet they will raise to the occasion.

I know at my parish, they hand out little activity sheets (scriptural words puzzles, games, etc.). The problem is that the kids work on them throughout the Liturgy of the Eucharist which I think is very disrespectful. Sure they are quiet, but they aren’t learning about the sacredness of the Eucharist. If you’re old enough to go to a children’s Liturgy of the Word then you should also be old enough to sit quietly, without a book or game, through the consecration.

Of course, you can all point and laugh at me when I have kids of my own and I’m trying to herd them during Mass.
 
The Sister was wrong and I think your replies were right on and she needed to hear them. I admire your guts.
 
Keep bringing your kids to mass.

I still remember when I was two and my Mom would take me not just to Sunday, but daily mass (I was too little to be in school, obviously). I still remember standing on the kneeler during the consecration and peering over the edge of the pew to see. Those memories stick with you.
 
Thank you all for you words of encouragement. It’s one of those things when your heart knows you are right but people start messing with your head and causing an inner conflict.

Late last night when I was resting my head right before sleep I had an epiphany. Priests stress the importance of how critical it is for our souls to go to church every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation. When we marry priests tell us to be fruitful and multiply. It makes no sense to tell us to multiply and then tell you dont come back to church until your kids are all old enough to behave. I, nor my children would not have been able to step foot in a church for 6yrs now. 🤷 How could that be good for anyones soul?

This morning my friend sent me this quote from a priest. “Don’t worry about the crying child. All of that crying just means that the Catholic Church has a future. If you go into a church that does not have a crying baby, that church is in trouble. It has no future. So, let us thank God for crying babies.”
 
In the good old time kids before school age did not attended masses to avoid unnecessary noises.

Tempora mutantur. Our Church is full will babies (no cry room) and we are sure that Jesus is delighted by their noises. Apparently your choice is no mass or bring your baby, so just bring her
 
Oh and one more story from a priest my friend sent me that made me feel really really really good:

After mass, the celebrant was greeting people in the back of the church as the left. Somone complained to him about the noise of our child. The priest simply told this person not to worry. “that is what your prayers sound like to God,” he said.
 
weepixie71 said:
I have 4 beautiful children 13, 6, 4, and 2. My youngest Bernadette is a admittedly a handful. Tantrums, kicking, biting, smacking, screaming, etc. She has made huge strides though lately since I have been punishing her with a 3min nose on the wall.
My whole family loves the Tridentine Mass but we only have one mass time and one location. The next closest location is over 1hr away. We also do not have a crying room. We have a vestibule but there is not speaker in the back so I can not hear. A lot of the time my husband was to work on Sundays and I have to take my children all by myself so when I go I always sit in the back for those mad dashes to the vestibule while I watch my other children through a tall glass door.
Today a nun told me today I was being selfish because I wanted to bring my daughter for the graces one gets from mass meanwhile everyone else including the priest can not meditate. I noticed that this nun was by herself sitting in the back of the church right across from us. I suggested that maybe she should try sitting in the front of the church because others say up front they hardly hear her.
Her response was then that I should consider that the devil is making my daughter act in such a way to disrupt the mass. So I responded with maybe the devil is tempting you in such a way to discourage me from bringing my children to mass to prevent them from getting graces they need to become saints.
She said then that the way my daughter was acting was abnormal… I interrupted her right there and said “How many 2yr olds have you been around? If my 13yr old and my 6yr old can meditate through mass I am sure you are capable of doing it also.”
She then stormed off.
I am so upset with myself because I did not handle that as well as I should have.
I immediately asked father if I should leave Bernadette at home and he said absolutely not.

Am I being selfish and father being too polite to tell me otherwise? Is this nun right? 🤷
When I was arguing I was so sure of myself, now I am not sure. I would love to hear your opinions.
Click to expand...
The Nun is beng selfish. Your child belongs with you at Mass. I personally LOVE the sound of children during Mass.
 
When I hear the children playing, or crying, or even shreeking at the tridentine mass, I thank God for them and for their parents.

If the children or babies need a break, take them outside for a while. If you need to, leave early.

But let no one tell you that the mass is not suitable for your children.

Your children should be an inspiration to your brothers and sisters in Christ.
 
lol. “THat is what your prayers sound like to God.”

Ah, poetic justice. Satisfaction.

THat is awesome.
 
According to my mother when I was a baby I would cry a lot! She had the very same question that you are asking trying to find out if she should make other arraignments such as finding a babysitter. I wish I had known this Priest (he passed away before I was old enough to meet him) but his answer to her still hits a soft spot in my heart. He told her “When a baby is crying in church I aways thought one of two things, they are either singing or praying in their own special way.” If fact according to my mother, one time during his homily, my father was taking me to the cry room when Fr. Post stated “Let the child stay, he is only singing.” To this day I still consider crying babies to either be singing or praying in their own special way, and hardly see this as a distraction. Now cellphones going off in church that is a distraction.
 
weepixie71 said:
I have 4 beautiful children 13, 6, 4, and 2. My youngest Bernadette is a admittedly a handful. Tantrums, kicking, biting, smacking, screaming, etc. She has made huge strides though lately since I have been punishing her with a 3min nose on the wall.
My whole family loves the Tridentine Mass but we only have one mass time and one location. The next closest location is over 1hr away. We also do not have a crying room. We have a vestibule but there is not speaker in the back so I can not hear. A lot of the time my husband was to work on Sundays and I have to take my children all by myself so when I go I always sit in the back for those mad dashes to the vestibule while I watch my other children through a tall glass door.
Today a nun told me today I was being selfish because I wanted to bring my daughter for the graces one gets from mass meanwhile everyone else including the priest can not meditate. I noticed that this nun was by herself sitting in the back of the church right across from us. I suggested that maybe she should try sitting in the front of the church because others say up front they hardly hear her.
Her response was then that I should consider that the devil is making my daughter act in such a way to disrupt the mass. So I responded with maybe the devil is tempting you in such a way to discourage me from bringing my children to mass to prevent them from getting graces they need to become saints.
She said then that the way my daughter was acting was abnormal… I interrupted her right there and said “How many 2yr olds have you been around? If my 13yr old and my 6yr old can meditate through mass I am sure you are capable of doing it also.”
She then stormed off.
I am so upset with myself because I did not handle that as well as I should have.
I immediately asked father if I should leave Bernadette at home and he said absolutely not.

Am I being selfish and father being too polite to tell me otherwise? Is this nun right? 🤷
When I was arguing I was so sure of myself, now I am not sure. I would love to hear your opinions.
Click to expand...
What happened… happened! You cannot go back!
We all are entitled to attend Mass.

If you and sister are in the same situation, in the near future, I would ask sister to join your family, keeping your daughter between you and sister.

I think sister will decline your offer but, who knows!
 
Your children are always welcome at Mass.

Why was that Sister meditating at Mass instead of praying the Mass?

Pray a complete Rosary for her and put her in Our Holy Mother’s arms:thumbsup:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top