dsully-----What a question! I’ve agonized over it for too many decades. I, too, agree that it depends upon the situation.
When I was young (grade school), and so yearning to be another Little Flower, Joan of Arc, or any of the saints, for that matter, I was adamant in my remaining silent rather than speaking up on my own behalf, while I frequently got “in Dutch” at school for championing the underdogs who’d been unfairly treated. Unfortunately, that became the way of my life, and I’ve suffered the consequences for way too many decades; call me a slow learner.
As the decades passed, I realized that I’d become a scapegoat both within my family and in my workplace. By not standing up for myself (and, therefore, for anyone else in a similar situation as my own) I became a doormat–an unwilling doormat, but a doormat, just the same. I finally learned this truism: Turn the other cheek, and they’ll hit that one, too! Here’s another observation: Turn the other cheek often enough, every time you get hit (not necessarily physically), and you’ll feel like a swinging door, door, door, door! (For a clearer understanding of what I’m saying, turn your head from one side to the other each time you rapidly say, “door.”)
Strangely, I was always going to bat for those who seemed unable to defend themselves, yet was incapable of standing up for myself, even when in the same circumstances. Was it a martyr complex? I don’t think so, and, yet, I wonder, because I had a sense of guilt when I’d attempt to correct a false impression of me, or an outright lie, whereas I felt shallow and immoral–that I’d be a poor Catholic–if I even thought for a moment about not jumping to the defense of someone else who was being skewered, ridiculed, or falsely accused, even knowing that I’d be painted with the same broad brush as they, and that I would suffer the consequences of more verbal abuse or retribution.
Shattered inside when, once again, I’d be maligned, for years I would find solace in knowing that God knew the truth of the matter, but that gave me precious little ammunition to get through the onerous days at work or in the midst of family gatherings. The depression and numbness that were part of my daily life for literally decades were a horrible way to live and I do not recommend my former victim acquiescence. When I FINALLY challenged what was being said, demanded corrections, or stood my ground, things didn’t miraculously smooth out, but over time there were subtle, if grudging, changes on the parts of others, and I felt much better inside. More remarkable changes occurred on the occasions when, through hurt and fury, I succumbed to dishing out what I’d been receiving, but I felt I’d lowered myself to their poor standards. I felt ashamed of myself in those instances and don’t recommend sinking to the level of your nemesis in any aspect of your life.
In contrast, there is the ongoing situation with my daughter-in-law’s words and actions. I’ve never said a word to my son, and can’t see that happening. I love him too much to put him into the position of having to choose which of us he is to believe, so I remain silent. My DIL has told me some of the cockamamie ideas about me that she believes (having learned them from some of my “loving” family) and I fully believe that my DIL has discussed some of these issues with my son, because he has said nothing–strict silence on certain topics which should have come up in casual conversation. If he had believed her, he would have chastised me immediately. So, for the few times that I see my son each year, I take her vicious tongue in silence, “turning the other cheek” (although I admit to figuratively sticking my tongue out at her while doing so!).
If you are asking whether you should keep quiet in matters of your beliefs having to do with the Catholic Church, you must decide whether you can live better with your silence or by speaking your piece. If you’re wanting to convert and are being harangued for your beliefs, can you live with that? From my experience I would say that the frequency and severity of the mistreatment will only escalate unless you make it clear that you won’t stand or sit there while the Church is maligned–then hightail it out of there the first time your boundaries have been breached. Putting up with badgering gives them license to persist. If you permit such a situation to perpetuate, your family “together” time will become strained or downright contentious. There is also the possibility that if they learn the truth from you, then, they, too, may convert. Stranger things have occurred!
Pray for guidance, dsully. Best wishes to you as you decide upon your faith matters and your course of action. I’ll add you to my prayers.
). Therefore to use the left hand indiscriminately was to make oneself unclean. Also, to slap others back then, one used his/her backhand: the backhand slap was how a master hits a slave. Therefore, to be slapped on the “right cheek” (Matthew 5:38) was to be told “You are beneath me!” But to “offer the other cheek” means that to be hit there either one of two things must happen: (1) to be slapped by the left hand, which means the slapper would become unclean, or (2) to be hit with the closed fist of the right hand, which means “I am your equal.”