Should divorce be illegal?

[Omyo12]

I was asked:

If we all agree secular gay marriage should not be made legal; does this mean some secular divorces should be made illegal? Should unmarried couples living together also be illegal?
Also, there are some secular marriages the Catholic Church does not consider valid, does this mean those people are sinning?
If gay marriage is made legal, I know the Church still wouldn’t recognize it
So their sin would still be fornicating which they would still probably do anyways, “married” or not.
So should there be more sodomy laws and be strongly enforced? But how would they be enforced?



I say “secular” because I know the Catholic Church will never allow gay marriage and never allow divorce of a valid marriage

 

[Jack17]

Law and Religion should be remain separate

and divorce should still stay legal

Not everyone is Catholic, and some people don’t even have a religion so why enforce that on them? Some people’s religions are different than Catholic as well.

 

[johankrava]

Divorce is just the opposite action of marriage. If marriage is legal then there is no reason why divorce shouldn’t be. To prevent divorce is a pretty stupid thing. As we change our mind, sometimes even during the same day, we also change view on who should be our partner.

 

[chain]

Divorce is a legal remedy to a legal problem - it severs legal commitments for people who are separated. There are appropriate times when even the church could recomend such action, likewise the church occasionally would recomend separation (such in cases of abuse).

 

[perfectpeach]

It is my firm opinion that the divorce rate is just as offensive as gay marriage. What is it now, 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce? I’m not sure if it should be illegal because some get divorced for very legitmate reasons… Now divorce and remarriage should be much harder to do.

 

[bbentrup]

I was asked:

If we all agree secular gay marriage should not be made legal; does this mean some secular divorces should be made illegal? Should unmarried couples living together also be illegal?
Also, there are some secular marriages the Catholic Church does not consider valid, does this mean those people are sinning?
If gay marriage is made legal, I know the Church still wouldn’t recognize it
So their sin would still be fornicating which they would still probably do anyways, “married” or not.
So should there be more sodomy laws and be strongly enforced? But how would they be enforced?



I say “secular” because I know the Catholic Church will never allow gay marriage and never allow divorce of a valid marriage

Asking questions about law and church is really hard. I’ll preface the rest of my coments by saying I’m certainly no expert. As far as my understaning goes, on public issues, the church has a moral obligation to help shape law. On private issues, the church has no direct interest on legal matters, but is very much in the business of saving souls, so it wishes to help people on moral (not legal) grounds. Let’s look at your questions in that context.

Should some divorces be made illegal? The Church would likely say yes, but neither it nor the state could set a benchmark to prevent an individual who is interested in secular divorce from lying to obtain one. For example, one wanting such a divorce could claim that one feels threatened by the spouse or that the spouse is cheating on them, and who is to deny them? If true (and how could you prove that it isn’t), the Church understands the sad need for secular divorce even though it is a very unfortunate sign that can give scandal.

Should unmarried couples living together also be illegal? The Church would likely state only to the dimension that it involves public scandal. This would probably be limited only to people who advocate premarital sex in defiance of church teaching in a public sphere or those who would engage in sexual public acts (and we already have laws like indecent exposure). For the most part, though, bedroom guilt is too hard to prove, and the church is not interested in legal sanctions for private sin. Rather it seeks to educate and rehabilitate sinners to a life of purity.

Also, there are some secular marriages the Catholic Church does not consider valid, does this mean those people are sinning? If they are not validly married and are engaging in sexual activity, then objectively they are sinning. The amount of guilt associated with the act would vary on a case by case basis, and may be diminished almost entirely. A lot of good can come from these invalid unions - and the Church hopes and prays for their salvation.

So should there be more sodomy laws and be strongly enforced? But how would they be enforced? The Church is interested in laws about public homosexual culture - banning it, in fact, but it does not have any **legal **interest on private acts of homosexual behavior, however sinful. Again, it rather wants to educate and rehabilitate the sinner into full communion with the Church.

 

[Christy_Beth]

Making divorce illegal could backfire. What of the woman who finds out she has married a very abusive man? And that’s not counting the physical abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse does as much damage. Or, if one spouse finds out that the other wasn’t free to marry, or perhaps coerced into a marriage.

It would be nice if everyone thought clearly before marrying someone. But that just isn’t the case. We all make mistakes. Now, if I hadn’t been able to divorce my ex, where would I be? He and his family would have found some way to get rid of me. After all, I got kicked out for “not beig good enough.” He was fairly big on porn, enough so that he expected me to help recreate these stories in real life. Plus, I was expected to do everything for everyone in the family. He didn’t “have” to support me. According to them, if I wanted to eat, or anything else, then I should go out and get a job and pay for all my needs. Could I have stayed in that relationship? No. Not even if I hadn’t been kicked out. The last time my ex and I argued, we were outside at his Grandmothers house. He shoved me towards the road, pointed in one direction, and said “There’s a creek down that way, might as well go kill yourself.” How could I have stayed in a relationship like that?

No, divorce shouldn’t be made illegal. But premarital counseling should be made mandatory. If I had known him better, I probably wouldn’t have married him. And if I hadn’t married him, it would have saved me a lot of grief. Plus my daughter wouldn’t have gone from a single parent home to being raised by her Grandparents (my parents). Actually, during the time between the seperation and the final decree, my mom actually added to the problem. “If you would have been a good enough wife, this divorce wouldn’t be happening.”

There is endless grief in a divorce. Well, usually. Of course there are those who jump from marriage to marriage as if in some sort of game. Last I heard, my ex was on his fourth wife. Although it’s been over twenty years, I still have some bitterness to work on. And self-esteem issues. It’s hard for me to accept God’s all abiding love, because human “love” has failed.

Sorry about the rant. This sort of discussion is one of my sore points.

 

[tjm190]

Marriage is a legal contract, and any legal contract can be ended by the agreement of both parties.

 

[4Squarebaby]

I was asked:

If we all agree secular gay marriage should not be made legal; does this mean some secular divorces should be made illegal? Should unmarried couples living together also be illegal?
Also, there are some secular marriages the Catholic Church does not consider valid, does this mean those people are sinning?
If gay marriage is made legal, I know the Church still wouldn’t recognize it
So their sin would still be fornicating which they would still probably do anyways, “married” or not.
So should there be more sodomy laws and be strongly enforced? But how would they be enforced?



I say “secular” because I know the Catholic Church will never allow gay marriage and never allow divorce of a valid marriage

If you want a case study look at the Republic of the Philippines. Divorce, adultery and concubinage are all illegal. Out of a population of 90 million or so there are about 7000 annulments a year and an unknown number of separated people living with their new boyfriend/girlfriend even though it is against the law.

edit to add: Make that illegal except for women who married Muslim men under Sharia Laws.

 

[Matrix_Refugee]

Making divorce illegal could backfire. What of the woman who finds out she has married a very abusive man? And that’s not counting the physical abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse does as much damage. Or, if one spouse finds out that the other wasn’t free to marry, or perhaps coerced into a marriage.

It would be nice if everyone thought clearly before marrying someone. But that just isn’t the case. We all make mistakes. Now, if I hadn’t been able to divorce my ex, where would I be? He and his family would have found some way to get rid of me. After all, I got kicked out for “not being good enough.” He was fairly big on porn, enough so that he expected me to help recreate these stories in real life. Plus, I was expected to do everything for everyone in the family. He didn’t “have” to support me. According to them, if I wanted to eat, or anything else, then I should go out and get a job and pay for all my needs. Could I have stayed in that relationship? No. Not even if I hadn’t been kicked out. The last time my ex and I argued, we were outside at his Grandmothers house. He shoved me towards the road, pointed in one direction, and said “There’s a creek down that way, might as well go kill yourself.” How could I have stayed in a relationship like that?

No, divorce shouldn’t be made illegal. But premarital counseling should be made mandatory. If I had known him better, I probably wouldn’t have married him. And if I hadn’t married him, it would have saved me a lot of grief. Plus my daughter wouldn’t have gone from a single parent home to being raised by her Grandparents (my parents). Actually, during the time between the seperation and the final decree, my mom actually added to the problem. “If you would have been a good enough wife, this divorce wouldn’t be happening.”

There is endless grief in a divorce. Well, usually. Of course there are those who jump from marriage to marriage as if in some sort of game. Last I heard, my ex was on his fourth wife. Although it’s been over twenty years, I still have some bitterness to work on. And self-esteem issues. It’s hard for me to accept God’s all abiding love, because human “love” has failed.

Sorry about the rant. This sort of discussion is one of my sore points.

:: Hugs:: Very sorry to hear that you got put through all that, but you clearly had a valid case for getting out of such a horrible situation: The man you were with clearly did NOT understand the meaning and purpose of marriage and I don’t think he even knew what respect for other people means, either. And don’t worry about the long post: some people need to be told about the grim reality that all too many women face and which their only recourse in getting out of, is by divorce.

 

[thunderballs75]

I don’t think the Church considers civil marriage any more valid than gay marriage.

 

[HNA444]

I was asked:

If we all agree secular gay marriage should not be made legal; does this mean some secular divorces should be made illegal? Should unmarried couples living together also be illegal?
Also, there are some secular marriages the Catholic Church does not consider valid, does this mean those people are sinning?
If gay marriage is made legal, I know the Church still wouldn’t recognize it
So their sin would still be fornicating which they would still probably do anyways, “married” or not.
So should there be more sodomy laws and be strongly enforced? But how would they be enforced?



I say “secular” because I know the Catholic Church will never allow gay marriage and never allow divorce of a valid marriage

I am sorry you had to go through all of that, but you must be a very strong woman. I would of recommended trying to get an annulment through the church, although I know that takes about 2-3 years i think.

 

[Christy_Beth]

I applied for an annulment in 1998. It was “finished” in about a year. But that may not be the average length of time.