Should I abandon my parish?

[SecretaryMonday]

God may be trying to teach you your own lesson, not the Scott Hahn lesson. Don’t worry about what He taught others.

Excellent advice, thanks! This is something that I easily forget.

 

[robwar]

This is really something you need to discern for yourself. I think there are good arguments to be said for both sides.

There’s the familiar idiom that you need to go to where you are being fed. I think there’s some truth to that, but we also need to be careful. I think it’s problematic when people place so much emphasis on their priest that they’re willing to cut bait and run the first time a new priest says something they don’t like. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve heard people leaving their parish (sometimes for another one, sometimes for none at all) for the silliest of reasons. Nonetheless, sometimes the situation can be so spiritually draining that it is better for us to find some place else.

What is the rest of your parish life like? How about the people? Not to denigrate the role of the priest, but the parishioners usually have just as much to do with the tone of the parish as the priest. If there are good people, it makes it easier to weather any problems that arise.

I know it is difficult for us introverts, but I would encourage you to reflect on ways you can more fully participate in the life of your parish (whether it be this one or a new one). We are designed to be in community. We cannot be Catholics in a personal bubble of our own making, only showing up for the priest to dispense to us the sacraments before we return to our “real” life. Trust me, I recognize how difficult that can be. I am an introvert and I usually prefer solitude over interpersonal interaction. But I firmly believe that it is necessary for us to get involved, especially if we want to have any influence at all on the direction our parish moves in. If we’re not willing to get involved and raise these issues, then we cannot really complain if we fail to see any change.

I think Joe that you bring up some good points. People do leave parishes, one for another for silly reasons or things often due to priest changes or the priest personality. A parish is more than the priest and when we switched parishes, it was after much soul searching and time and prayer and did not have anything to do with the priest. What I got out of the OP is that after 10 years, he wasn’t engaged at all in the parish and hardly knew anyone which is pretty sad and typical. Because the parish was going or going back in a direction that OP was not happy with, I hope that he can look (if able) at other nearby parishes and find a parish that is more traditional and hopefully join and become more engaged in and with parish life. As you pointed out, that is not so easy for some. But since he desires a more orthodox or traditional approach, he will might be more successful in a parish with that emphasis than not. Most Catholics seem to be very loyal to their parish and not move too much or switch around unless they become very unhappy with changes or change in direction of the parish. No parish is perfect but the flavor or direction of the parish is important and can be a valid reason to leave.

 

[LeeGrizz]

Unorthodox priests need not be tolerated with your presence.

Go where the Truth is taught and don’t look back. Pillars of salt and all. meh.

 

[clem456]

Get committed with some parish ministries and your anxiety may go away. The Mass ends “go forth to love and serve the Lord”. If you get involved in ministries your issue may be solved, your commitments may prevent you from leaving.

I could never leave my parish no matter how much “rubbish” at the Mass (those two words don’t belong in the same sentence). The parish is ministering to the sick and dying, a school, the grieving, on and on. My distaste for the pastor’s style is irrelevant.

 

[Tigg]

Isn’t it amazing that Catholics have almost gotten to the point of Protestants in seeking a place to worship. When we were recently on vacation we attended Masses at some parishes that felt like a foreign entity to us. In one diocese we visited, it is not permitted to kneel after Communion until all have received and even then, not for one second did we kneel to privately give thanks…everyone just remained standing until the Mass dismissal. My husband and I prayed together in the car in the parking lot after Mass because the noise level was so high, one couldn’t pray even if they chose. What a sad commentary and I would feel absolutely no obligation to remain at a parish that shows such disrespect for the Source and Summit of the Faith.

OTOH, I believe the pain in our hearts over the state of things in general can be beneficial if suffered in silence for the purification of the Church. I speak often to our Blessed Mother about such things…can you imagine her “tears and distress” over certain situations that have developed over the course of this past generation?

 

[clem456]

Unorthodox priests need not be tolerated with your presence.

Go where the Truth is taught and don’t look back. Pillars of salt and all. meh.

Jesus: " I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life". Christ is present at any Mass. There should be larger considerations than the holiness of the priest. Otherwise you may run forever looking for the truth, when it is right before your eyes at every Mass. And if you go from Mass to Mass, how will you committ to serving any particular parish?

 

[MissBorgia]

I am sorry that there is only one parish church in my medium sized town, i would go hang my hat elsewhere…things are really not as they should be be at St. Joe’s lately

 

[kmo_9000]

You really shouldn’t use political terms like “liberal” to describe that which you do not like. If he doesn’t follow the rubrics then talk to him about it or move on.

Why should one not use the term liberal? There are many people who promote things that even they would consider liberal moves, and then say that we do this because “we were too conservative” before.

I am in the same boat as the OP, have been floating around different parishes in my area for years because priests telling jokes at mass and the abuse of extraordinary ministers.

I would like to be able to receive holy communion on the tongue every time, but I simply can’t because of the environment. A) you’re not just going to stick your tongue out at some old lady volunteering to give out communion, and B) it would be just as awkward kneeling on the floor in front of said person who is not the priest.

Which makes me wonder why people who were obviously liberal were ever allowed to encourage the practice of communion on the hand by promoting it and also by removing communion rails from churches. And the result of all this is quite obviously a wide spread lack of reverence for holy communion, I’ve noticed it in every local church I’ve been too.

As for the OP’s post, it does not surprise me one bit that he got a “traditional” priest who made changes and offered the extraordinary form of mass just get transferred out of there so quickly. I can imagine what all those angry letters to the bishop from the more liberal members of the parish read like.

 

[agnes_therese]

I would like to be able to receive holy communion on the tongue every time, but I simply can’t because of the environment. A) you’re not just going to stick your tongue out at some old lady volunteering to give out communion, and B) it would be just as awkward kneeling on the floor in front of said person who is not the priest.

Then you’re the one depriving yourself. I sometimes serve as EMHC, and those who prefer to receive on the tongue still receive from me on the tongue. I haven’t seen anyone in my parish kneel to received from an EMHC, but I’ve seen it in other parishes.

 

[kmo_9000]

Then you’re the one depriving yourself. I sometimes serve as EMHC, and those who prefer to receive on the tongue still receive from me on the tongue. I haven’t seen anyone in my parish kneel to received from an EMHC, but I’ve seen it in other parishes.

People I know have tried to receive communion at this parish and have been refused. Who was being deprived in that case?

Also, no I am not depriving myself of anything. First of all I go to a Latin parish once a month where I can receive the preferred way. And it is the “preferred” way, I have read this countless times I really don’t understand how you think receiving on the hand should be normal.

You also completely ignored what I said. If I am going to get on my knees and stick out my tongue at someone, that person should be the priest. Also, having a communion rail as we used to do seems to have been able to accommodate the preferred method perfectly.

How do you just accuse this of being completely my fault when I am telling you that the way you set it up with extraordinary ministers creates a situation where it is not ideal to receive on the tongue. Receiving on the hand is expected of me, because these places expect that you receive in the way that is the norm.

So don’t put the blame on me, I have received communion at this parish on the tongue before. My point is that it is made extremely uncomfortable when I do. And this is not right. Really is sad that you think it is.

 

[clem456]

Then you’re the one depriving yourself. I sometimes serve as EMHC, and those who prefer to receive on the tongue still receive from me on the tongue. I haven’t seen anyone in my parish kneel to received from an EMHC, but I’ve seen it in other parishes.

LIkewise, I have never in all my life seen a Catholic refused Communion. At our parish there are people who receive on the tongue as well as in the hand. We have an occasional person who kneels, no problem.

 

[clem456]

How do you just accuse this of being completely my fault when I am telling you that the way you set it up with extraordinary ministers creates a situation where it is not ideal to receive on the tongue. **Receiving on the hand is expected of me, because these places expect that you receive in the way that is the norm. **

The question that comes to mind is, why don’t you, in those circumstances, simply receive communion in the hand if you are uncomfortable?

 

[agnes_therese]

People I know have tried to receive communion at this parish and have been refused. Who was being deprived in that case?

Also, no I am not depriving myself of anything. First of all I go to a Latin parish once a month where I can receive the preferred way. And it is the “preferred” way, I have read this countless times I really don’t understand how you think receiving on the hand should be normal.

I think it’s normal because the Church says so. Sorry if that offends you.

You also completely ignored what I said. If I am going to get on my knees and stick out my tongue at someone, that person should be the priest.

Then get in the priest’s line if you prefer to “stick out your tongue at” him.

How do you just accuse this of being completely my fault when I am telling you that the way you set it up with extraordinary ministers creates a situation where it is not ideal to receive on the tongue.

I did? No, I don’t think so.

 

[Stylites]

I can imagine what all those angry letters to the bishop from the more liberal members of the parish read like.

This doesn’t sound too healthy of an imagination. Saints might be able to bilocate and actually read the imagined letters rather than just imagine what the imagined letters might have said. But while the Saints might be able to bilocate they would certainly not be interested in bilocating to the bishop’s bureau to behold the brainstormed bangouts.

 

[kmo_9000]

I think it’s normal because the Church says so. Sorry if that offends you.

No it does NOT say so. It was NOT part of Vatican II and it does not anywhere say that communion on the hand is the norm. The church has stated numerous times that the tongue is the preferred method. For you do say on the hand is the preferred method is a lie or it is ignorance on your part. The ONLY reason we are allowed to widely receive on the hand is because we defied Rome for so long and then managed to get an Indult.

This is why I hate this forum, you say anything remotely in line with what the Church actually teaches and you have a huge circle jerk of liberals arguing their mistaken beliefs saying “oh that doesn’t happen too me” or “you need to stop over reacting.”

The Catholic Church has always stated that receiving on the tongue is the preferred method. How we managed to get an indult here in the west is an even bigger problem. The bishop at the time tried to get a vote on it multiple times without getting the required support, only to finality include retired bishops into the vote that he knew would give support.

Heck I’m told that they were removing communion rails directly after Vatican II and I know the practice of communion on the hand had been in place long before they somehow got permission. How do you justify a practice that was for so long a direct violation of Rome’s teachings?

As for those people saying “oh just receive on the hand,” I want to receive on the tongue because it is far more reverent than what I have seen done to the host in parishes that receive on the hand. I’ve seen people drop the host, I’ve seen people go up to the priest and pick it out of his hand with their fingers.

But the real question is why you are still pushing communion on the hand when you know full well that communion on the tongue is the preferred method. Rome has stated this before, they have stated not only that it is the preferred method but also that no one is to be denied communion on the tongue if they elect to do so.

If you deny that communion on the hand is the preferred method then show me the documents from Rome saying that communion on the hand is the norm, and that receiving on the tongue only under special circumstances. Or go to Rome yourself and just try and receive on the hand from the Pope at one of his masses.