Should I apologize for past mistakes?

[Aquag80]

I have learned and begun practicing my Catholic faith more in the last 4 years. Before that, while I did strongly believe in God, I didn’t attend mass regularly and I just didn’t have knowledge that certain things were wrong.

For instance, even though I went to Catholic school believe it or not I had never heard that sex before marriage was wrong. Actually, in my high school sexuality class at a Catholic school, all we learned about were different kinds of contraception and never the Catholic teaching! While I am a virgin, I participated in the hook up culture a lot in college.

I am filled with so much guilt after reading more about theology of the body. I pressured my last boyfriend into going further than he was comfortable with and I now look back and see how wrong I was and all the damage I inflicted on myself and him.

He has expressed not wanting to hear from me but I have so much guilt after realizing what I did. Should I apologize to him or do I just need to apologize to God?

 

[FrancisBenedict]

Apologize to God first in the confessional.

Then you will be forgiven.

Maybe after you might like to help someone else as a reparation. See what your confessor thinks.

Peace be with you+

 

[bsroufek]

I have heard from some priests that it is generally NOT a good idea to bring up past sins with persons of the past, esp. if they have expressed not wanting to hear from you.

Just believe in Reconciliation/Confession and “forget the past” as my Monsignor told me in confession recently.

 

[underacloud]

He has expressed not wanting to hear from me but I have so much guilt after realizing what I did. Should I apologize to him or do I just need to apologize to God?

You should honour his request and not contact him.

Apologise to God and rely on the advice of your priest regarding any penance you could offer.

 

[mek42]

I was in a similar situation to you when I was younger, 'cept I’m the boy. I honored her request - nothing else to do, really. Time will help, but you’ll have to live with knowing you caused someone else hurt, like I am remembering right now writing this. Try not to dwell on your wrongness, but use that awareness of once having caused another hurt to draw strength to not hurt others in the future.

This one may be harder on you that other stuff - while you’ll know God has forgiven you, you’ll likely never know whether that boy has. You can still forgive yourself, but do not be surprised if you still ache to seek forgiveness from the one you wronged while not able to so seek it. Maybe you could pray for him - that your wrong does not harden his heart.

 

[ACanthony]

Hello! I highly commend you for seeking purity with all your heart. It’s a tough, tough culture that promotes the opposite of what is good and true. If you have repented and went to Confession, God has already forgiven you and you just need to trust in Jesus that all your sins are gone. It’s tough! We are all humans and we all have temptations and things we feel bad about in the best. You are doing a great job with wanting purity which is what is best for your soul. It’s impossible to be perfect, so we just need to trust in the One who was perfect! God is so so so good and He will even use our sins to bring us closer to Him, since our sins humble us. Nothing is truly wasted in the Hands of the Redeemer. Listen to this song and enjoy the comfort that God gives your soul: youtube.com/watch?v=l26UoD-N2hA

May God bless you! Come Holy Spirit! Fill us with your Love and guide us always, towards purity, towards chastity, towards the Lord in everything we do! We entrust our pasts to you. We know victory is in our future, and we know the Lord is with us, even as I am typing this. Amen.