First off I promise to pray for you. Are you sure you have not already received the answer you seek?
I have been asked this question before by young adults and this is the answer I give them…test your call. In discerning your call to the to give yourself 100% to God it takes years (much longer than the 6 months of marital engagment). If you are in anyway feeling called to spiritual marriage then God is asking you to discern that seriously - first. The process will itself answer your soul’s desire to follow God’s will for your vocation. If in the end you are not called to spiritual marraige - you have loss nothing - you have only gained an even deeper relationship with Him and can now go in peace and find your earthly spouse…knowing you had discerned your vocation fully.
God bless your desire to follow Him!
Aside from two locutions over a two year period, which I will
not discuss under any circumstances. I had an old and devout Irishman tell me the day of a great uncle’ s funeral, “If you go to Rome, you’ll become a priest.” The voice wasn’t his – it was too strong for his lessened frame. We had been talking about Italy. You see I am half-Italian and have never been there. He and his wife, an elder Italian 2nd cousin of mine, were going on about this and about that and how great the trip they took had been. Then he cornered me, outside, as I was leaving to go home – that is when I heard him say that.
But, people tell me from time to time that I should, but chalk it up to fact that I go to Mass and the people who say it generally do not. Examinations are a nightmare for me, I graduated 2nd to last in my class and took 10 years to earn a college degree failing half of my classes – no joke. I have looked at the Western Province Domincans, looked at Sardinia, of where I have a deep desire live, looked at the Carthusians more than once (Vermont, Argentina, and England), thought about the Cistercians as I like their focus on farming, the Benedictines are too wishy-washy and I’d be afraid of being stuck with an obstacle of a superior, Fransiscans are not my bag, Carmelites are nifty, wouldn’t mind being a parish priest but I realize that half the parish would walk out the day I dismiss the parish council and show them papal bulls and go on about things like ‘without dogma there is no spirituality’.
Out of all of these… the most austere environment by far would be the Carthusians in Vermont – It is
coldin the Green Mountains – they are practically uninhabitable from Oct 15th thru May 1st. Austerity isn’t a bother to me.
The thing that troubles me most is that I have a nephew, age 5. And, he doesn’t hardly have a father worth his salt.
I thank you for your prayers.