Should I ask my parents?

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komeeks18

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Okay, I was raised Baptist, my entire family is Baptist, but I no longer consider myself Baptist. Since I am still a teen and living under their roof, I cannot convert to Catholicism. But I want to. And I definitely plan on it once I move out. Anyway, I’m a teen so I’m always being selfish and I was thinking about how I should put a crucifix in my room to remind of Christ’s sacrifice and how I need to be grateful and humble at all times. And also just a reminder that I need to try to live like Jesus. Now obviously I think I should ask my parents if I can, but I’m afraid they’ll get really judgmental or think it’s stupid to put a crucifix on the wall. (They know I’m interested in Catholicism–they don’t like it–but I don’t think they understand I’m serious about, and they think it’s just me trying to do the opposite of what they’ve taught me.) Anyway, I know I should ask them, but I don’t really want to. It’s not like my parents are opposed to having a crucifix in the house, we have one in a curio cabinet in our living room, but it’s on the bottom shelf where you can barely see. But I don’t want to move that one into my room. It’s quite large and I have no place to put it–plus I really want a crucifix on the wall. So, do you think I should ask my parents or just buy one online and hang it up, and let them see it by themselves? How should I tell them why I want one in the first place? Would it be weird for a “Baptist household” to have a crucifix hanging on the wall in a teenage girl’s bedroom? Do you think my parents will understand? Anyway, sorry this was so long, and I would really appreciate anyone’s advice! God bless! :gopray:
 
I think you should sit down with your parents and have a serious talk about your interest in Catholicism. I think that it’s important that you get the issues out there; you shouldn’t have to live in fear of practicing your religion, after all. It may not be easy, but it certainly must be done. I’m not sure if that really answers your question, but I just wanted to tell you that.
 
As the poster before me said, I would think you should tell your parents. Ask them if you can have a crucifix by just asking out of the blue or something and if they oppose it or question it, just try to explain why you want it. And then you can explain to them your interest in Catholicism and try to have them see what you mean.

Don’t worry about how the crucifix might look weird in a Baptist household. If it helps you then allow it to be there. 🙂 But I would try to avoid just ordering one and putting it up without your parents consent as that may lead to anger/disapproval. But of course, I don’t know your parents. They may or may not want you to have one. Do as St. Padre Pio said, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry”. I hope I helped. 🙂
 
Thank you both very much. I’ve tried to talk to my mom before about it, and she never wants to talk about it. We have spoken about it twice(briefly) and she gets very defensive and basically tells me everything that I’m saying is wrong. So I don’t if I’ll ever be able to just sit down and talk about it with my parents without them overreacting. But I will ask them about the crucifix and if they being to question me about why I want it I’ll explain. And if they mention Catholicism, then I’ll explain why I believe it’s true. Keep me in your prayers, please! God bless.
 
komeeks18 said:
Okay, I was raised Baptist, my entire family is Baptist, but I no longer consider myself Baptist. Since I am still a teen and living under their roof, I cannot convert to Catholicism. But I want to. And I definitely plan on it once I move out. Anyway, I’m a teen so I’m always being selfish and I was thinking about how I should put a crucifix in my room to remind of Christ’s sacrifice and how I need to be grateful and humble at all times. And also just a reminder that I need to try to live like Jesus. Now obviously I think I should ask my parents if I can, but I’m afraid they’ll get really judgmental or think it’s stupid to put a crucifix on the wall. (They know I’m interested in Catholicism–they don’t like it–but I don’t think they understand I’m serious about, and they think it’s just me trying to do the opposite of what they’ve taught me.) Anyway, I know I should ask them, but I don’t really want to. It’s not like my parents are opposed to having a crucifix in the house, we have one in a curio cabinet in our living room, but it’s on the bottom shelf where you can barely see. But I don’t want to move that one into my room. It’s quite large and I have no place to put it–plus I really want a crucifix on the wall. So, do you think I should ask my parents or just buy one online and hang it up, and let them see it by themselves? How should I tell them why I want one in the first place? Would it be weird for a “Baptist household” to have a crucifix hanging on the wall in a teenage girl’s bedroom? Do you think my parents will understand? Anyway, sorry this was so long, and I would really appreciate anyone’s advice! God bless! :gopray:
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If they don’t consent to having one in your room perhaps you could wear one? I almost never take mine off and I personally think having it with you all the time is a better reminder of Christ (my 2 cents, everyone is different).
 
Will pray for you.
Basically, as I see it, protestants have crosses on the wall, without the body of Christ, because they know that He is risen, no longer on the cross, and they focus on His resurrection. Which is fine.
Catholics have crucifixes because we focus on His sacrifice, that paid the price for sin, that redeemed us, and is a reminder of the path of the cross that we all must be ready to follow.
If your parents don’t like the idea of a crucifix on your wall, perhaps you could get a cross instead. It could be a reminder as well, though not quite as potent a one.
It’s good to be obedient to your parents, since they doubtless have your best interests at heart. God can work through them for you, to bring you closer to Him.
 
I think it depends. Would you ask them before you hung up a picture, or a poster, or something someone gave you lik a wall plaque? Probably not.

Hang your crucifix, don’t make a big deal out of it, and if they ask you to take it down then comply. Same as anything else you might hang on your wall.
 
1ke said:
I think it depends. Would you ask them before you hung up a picture, or a poster, or something someone gave you lik a wall plaque? Probably not.

Hang your crucifix, don’t make a big deal out of it, and if they ask you to take it down then comply. Same as anything else you might hang on your wall.
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I disagree here. The commandment is to “Honor your father and your mother.”

There is nothing morally wrong with NOT having a crucifix in your room, but there is something wrong with the mentality of “I’m going to hang it and to hell with what my parents think!”

Ask them, and if they tell you no then respect their wishes and find another symbol (maybe a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, or something else acceptable to all involved).

Another troubling thing is that you are interested in Catholicism, and yet you don’t feel like you have an avenue to the church. Moreso than the crucifix, you NEED to ask your parents about that one, not necessarily to become catholic, but if you are discerning the church, then you SHOULD be in RCIA. Perhaps you can ask them to take you to RCIA classes if you enroll (and maybe they’d be interested in attending from time to time as well just so that they can see that the path you’re following is NOT scary or evil). In then end, getting their support to grow and learn about the faith (and possibly to join the church) will have a FAR greater impact on your spiritual life than just hanging a crucifix…
 
Actaeon said:
but there is something wrong with the mentality of “I’m going to hang it and to hell with what my parents think!”
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Hmmm, that is not what I said, implied, or advocated. Quite an overly dramatic and inaccurate representation of my advice.

I simply advised to treat the crucifix like any other item that this teen might hang in her room. I indicated that f she asks permission before haning up a picture, poster, or nick-nack, then by all means ask permission first to hang the crucifix. If she generally adorns the walls with whatever she pleases without a prior approval, then I think it is appropriate to hange the crucifix in her room.

Most teens have so much stuff hanging on their walls you cannot even see the walls, and few parents monitor or require permission for what goes on the wall.

If her parents object, please note I suggested to comply with their request to take it down.
 
1ke said:
Hmmm, that is not what I said, implied, or advocated. Quite an overly dramatic and inaccurate representation of my advice.

I simply advised to treat the crucifix like any other item that this teen might hang in her room. I indicated that f she asks permission before haning up a picture, poster, or nick-nack, then by all means ask permission first to hang the crucifix. If she generally adorns the walls with whatever she pleases without a prior approval, then I think it is appropriate to hange the crucifix in her room.

Most teens have so much stuff hanging on their walls you cannot even see the walls, and few parents monitor or require permission for what goes on the wall.

If her parents object, please note I suggested to comply with their request to take it down.
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Sorry, I should have made a better distinction than two carriage returns to note that the only part of my post that pertained to yours was the line with “I disagree”. The rest was expounding on my position on the OP.

With a picture or a poster, a crucifix isn’t necessarily “just like any other item.” It may SEEM that way to a catholic, who doesn’t see the harm in a crucifix, but having been brought up mostly in a staunch non-denominational, anti-catholic home, I can tell you that in SOME cases their view of catholicism and crucifixes is NOT favorable.

If my child wanted to hang a picture of Barney (purple dinosaur), that’s a far cry from hanging a picture depicting a violent video game (or worse, actually advocating violence against women, etc). Not that I’m relating a crucifix to a violent poster, but there is a distinction between objects that are ojectionable to certain people… a cross in a baptist home is something that would be viewed as harmless, but the child in this case is right: a crucifix is an object that is LIKELY to cause an issue with his/her parents… and therefore it would be a good idea to ask first.

In fact, if the OP takes the time to ask their parents about it WHILE explaining that they’re clearly following the commandment to honor their parents and that they will not put it up if the parents don’t allow it (while explaining why they want it!) then that would probably go a LONG way towards actually getting it on the wall and keeping it there…
 
fif1189 said:
If they don’t consent to having one in your room perhaps you could wear one? I almost never take mine off and I personally think having it with you all the time is a better reminder of Christ (my 2 cents, everyone is different).
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That is a great idea! I may get a crucifix necklace, too! Thank you!
Viki63 said:
Will pray for you.
Basically, as I see it, protestants have crosses on the wall, without the body of Christ, because they know that He is risen, no longer on the cross, and they focus on His resurrection. Which is fine.
Catholics have crucifixes because we focus on His sacrifice, that paid the price for sin, that redeemed us, and is a reminder of the path of the cross that we all must be ready to follow.
If your parents don’t like the idea of a crucifix on your wall, perhaps you could get a cross instead. It could be a reminder as well, though not quite as potent a one.
It’s good to be obedient to your parents, since they doubtless have your best interests at heart. God can work through them for you, to bring you closer to Him.
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Thank you for your prayers. I really appreciate it. It’s such a tough situation. We don’t ever really go to church anymore, but my parents still hold onto their Baptist beliefs. But if they don’t let me have a crucifix on the wall, then I’ll see if they’ll let me just put up an empty cross on the wall. Thank you for your advice!
 
1ke said:
I think it depends. Would you ask them before you hung up a picture, or a poster, or something someone gave you lik a wall plaque? Probably not.

Hang your crucifix, don’t make a big deal out of it, and if they ask you to take it down then comply. Same as anything else you might hang on your wall.
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I never really ask them when I want to hang a poster or put pictures on the wall, but with the crucifix I found online that I really like, I would probably make some sort of hole or something in the wall. Either way, I’m still going to ask them, but I’m just nervous about it.
Actaeon said:
I disagree here. The commandment is to “Honor your father and your mother.”

There is nothing morally wrong with NOT having a crucifix in your room, but there is something wrong with the mentality of “I’m going to hang it and to hell with what my parents think!”

Ask them, and if they tell you no then respect their wishes and find another symbol (maybe a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, or something else acceptable to all involved).

Another troubling thing is that you are interested in Catholicism, and yet you don’t feel like you have an avenue to the church. Moreso than the crucifix, you NEED to ask your parents about that one, not necessarily to become catholic, but if you are discerning the church, then you SHOULD be in RCIA. Perhaps you can ask them to take you to RCIA classes if you enroll (and maybe they’d be interested in attending from time to time as well just so that they can see that the path you’re following is NOT scary or evil). In then end, getting their support to grow and learn about the faith (and possibly to join the church) will have a FAR greater impact on your spiritual life than just hanging a crucifix…
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I’m going to ask my parents! I’m just not sure how they’re going to react. I don’t want them to think the only reason I want a crucifix in my room is because I want to become Catholic, because that isn’t the main reason. But I’m sure my parents will think that’s why I want one. I just don’t like talking to them about Catholicism because 1) my mom gets very defensive & attacking 2) she doesn’t really listen to what I have to say 3) she isn’t really open-minded and just tells me I’m wrong and basically makes me feel stupid. I don’t want to embarrass myself if she says something, and I can’t explain why Catholics do or believe that. I want to talk to them, but I want to maybe after I’m out of the house and completely solid in what I believe. But I know they would not let me attend RCIA. I’m very sure they would completely disagree with it. I feel like maybe years from now and once I’m older and they realize how serious I am about it, they would accept it, but I don’t feel like they would ever really support it. I think my sister would, though. I don’t think she would mind. Her mindset is basically as long as you believe in God, you’re good. She’s been “saved” though, so I don’t know how she reached that conclusion. Anyway, once I’m in college (3 more years until I’m out of high school) I definitely want to attend Mass (I watch it online) and enroll in RCIA. I wish they would be more open-minded. Thank you for your advice and help.
 
I’m going to ask them soon. I’ll post about how it goes afterwards. I’m afraid my mom will have a problem with it, but honestly I don’t think there is a good reason for me not to have one in my room. We already have on in the living room, so why would it really matter? But she’ll probably not want to lead me in a “Catholic direction” Ugh, I want to ask them tonight. We’ll see. :confused:
 
I think, if you tell them WHY you want one (to remind you to be grateful and humble etc), you they may be more accepting of it, rather than going “I want one because it’s catholic,” or allowing them to make that interference.
 
Okay, my mother said that I could probably hang one up, but it probably wouldn’t be soon because we will be moving within the next month or two and that I should wait until later. We will be renting a house, and some owners don’t let you hang stuff up or put any time of indention in the wall, so we’ll see. But if I can’t hang one up, I’ll find somewhere to put the standing one we have in my room. I’m still going to look for a crucifix necklace too! Thank you every one for your help, advice, and prayers. I really appreciate it! God bless! Xoxo.
 
I’m glad it went pretty well.
Meanwhile, you might consider looking into the Catholic Catechism; there are a couple of teen versions you can order online, here and here. One of those might answer some of the questions you might have about the Church.
God bless.
 
Viki63 said:
I’m glad it went pretty well.
Meanwhile, you might consider looking into the Catholic Catechism; there are a couple of teen versions you can order online, here and here. One of those might answer some of the questions you might have about the Church.
God bless.
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Thank you! And God bless you, too! 😉
 
So I just took out the crucifix in our cabinet in the living room and put it on the vanity in my room. It’s kind of odd where it’s at, but I like it being in my room, so until I can get a hanging one, I’ll use the standing one. It looks like this!
 
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