Should I attend my mother's wedding?

[Demetra2]

Please attend your mother’s wedding and give a very brief toast that other’s here have recommended. I say this because it will be the easiest thing for you to do. Keep your opinions of their marriage to yourself because that too will be the best approach for you. I know that you have sincere reservations about this marriage but at this point you have very little clout and your mother is not asking for your opinion however wise it might be.

 

[Irishmom2]

Please attend your mother’s wedding and give a very brief toast that other’s here have recommended. I say this because it will be the easiest thing for you to do. Keep your opinions of their marriage to yourself because that too will be the best approach for you. I know that you have sincere reservations about this marriage but at this point you have very little clout and your mother is not asking for your opinion however wise it might be.

I agree with this and want to add this thought. What good would come out of your NOT going? It would only cause more drama. If not for your mother, go for the sake of her future husband that you seem to like.

Same for the “speech.” Give one as Isca suggested. Since she is not going to hear it beforehand, it’s not as if she has anything to say about it. Be nice, smile and wish them “all the best,” because after all, that is the truth.

 

[smswife]

shainski:

I agree with Isca.

Go to the wedding so you don’t have to deal with the consequences of not going. Concentrate on their future relationship - not your past relationship with your mother.

Try doing an internet search on “wedding toasts” or even “Wedding toasts when you don’t like…”. Read through others speeches for ideas. Keep it relatively short.

If you can pick out a time in your life when you and your mother got along - even for one event, then try to incorporate that into it. Something like this:

"Mom, do you remember the time you took us to a baseball game? We couldn’t have been more than six or seven. We kept yelling at our team to score a touchdown - and you kept trying to tell us that they don’t do that in baseball.

Well, sis and I may not know a lot about baseball, but we know a good guy when we see one. Mom, you found good one!".

and then do the wish for a happy life together.

You haven’t dwelt on anything bad. You haven’t been untruthful. You’ve been gracious, and, you’ve satisfied what your mother expected of you.

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