Should I attend my son's wedding?

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lizaanne said:
Ok - I’m not even a mom, but I’m going to put on a mom hat right now…

Will you all stop this bickering already??!!! Just stop it!

Everyone has made their points. Can we PLEASE let this discussion stay open till the OP comes back? How sad it would be for her to come back and see it turned into a flinging dirt fest and closed down before she even had a chance to respond. I think that would be a horrible thing for her. She asked for opinions - by golly, she got them. Now let’s just sit back and breathe and wait till she comes back. Sheesh.

:mad:

~Liza
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I think that’s a good idea.
 
adrift said:
She did drive him from her table.
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This caused his mother great anguish, and when he returned to Tagaste, she disapproved so strongly both of his loose living and of his espousal of the popular heresy of Manichaeism that she refused at first to allow him to live at home. She relented only after having seen a vision. One day as she was weeping over his behavior, a figure appeared and asked her the cause of her grief. She answered, and a voice issued from the mysterious figure, telling her to dry her tears; then she heard the words, “Your son is with you.”
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(My emphasis.)

Perhaps love and prayer will bring such a vision to us.

Just as an aside, why is it that recommending love and prayer as a solution to problems like this arouses such animosity?
 
vern_humphrey said:
(My emphasis.)

Perhaps love and prayer will bring such a vision to us.

Just as an aside, why is it that recommending love and prayer as a solution to problems like this arouses such animosity?
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I don’t think it was your message as much as it was your delivery.
 
iamrefreshed said:
I don’t think it was your message as much as it was your delivery.
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Here is my orginal post:
You cannot abandon a child. As a mother or father, you have a life-long committment and you cannot walk away from it.
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Always be there for your children, no matter what. Who knows what the future will bring, how their hearts may change? You want to be there when that happens.
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What is it about this post that spurred such anger adn vituperation?
 
vern_humphrey said:
Then why so many and such personal attacks – to the point of someone accusing those who counseled love and prayer of supporting abortion?
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After your last post, I reread the thread.

No one accused you of supporting abortion. This is what was said.
f your daughter were planning an abortion and needed a ride there would you drive her? If she were short of cash would you pay?
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I can only assume you all would. After all, you’re not condoning the abortion, just supplying the cash or ride.
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Why did you get so upset?
This is a strawman argument and a violation of the rules. You owe us an apology
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I don’t think it was a violation of the rules and it is you who owe an apology.
You have accused other of personnel attacks. I saw none from others but I did see this from you
For a person who is casting no stones, you seem awfully judgemetal.
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You believe that it would be harmful for her not to go but you did so in such away as to criticize others who disagree with you.
I saw no one advocating abandonment. Not going to the wedding would not be such.

Prayers are a good thing why don’t you pray for everyone on this thread before posting again. And I urge everyone else to do the same thing. Shouva needs that more than anything else.
 
vern_humphrey said:
Then why so many and such personal attacks – to the point of someone accusing those who counseled love and prayer of supporting abortion?
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No one accused you of supporting abortion.
No one but you have made personnel attacks.
You are not very charitable.:mad:
 
adrift said:
No one accused you of supporting abortion.
No one but you have made personnel attacks.
You are not very charitable.:mad:
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Thanks for that. I was only trying to make an analogy.

I’ve had very little luck expressing to this poster how his posts come across as hurtful.
 
MaryD7 said:
Nobody did.
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Here is the post in question:
Originally Posted by iamrefreshed
I’ve got a few questions for those who support her going to the wedding.
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Realize first that this woman is responsible for her OWN soul. Her son is responsible for HIS.
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If your daughter were planning an abortion and needed a ride there would you drive her? If she were short of cash would you pay?
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I can only assume you all would. After all, you’re not condoning the abortion, just supplying the cash or ride.
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Note the words I have put in bold, “I can only assume you all would.”

That is a direct accusation that those who do not agree with iamrefreshed’s position support and would materially assist in an abortion.
 
adrift said:
No one accused you of supporting abortion.
No one but you have made personnel attacks.
You are not very charitable.:mad:
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Putting aside everyone’s differences, I think our efforts would be best spent answering the OP’s original question?!?!

I again recommend NOT attending this “wedding”. Further, I recommend that you chastise your son as is your OBLIGATION as a parent. Again I will include the CCC for those who need clarification. These are not my opinions but the CCC…

**2230 **When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse. **This necessary restraint does not prevent them - quite the contrary from giving their children judicious advice, particularly when they are planning to start a family.
**
(Emphasis mine)

**2228 **Parents’ respect and affection are expressed by the care and attention they devote to bringing up their young children and providing for their physical and spiritual needs. **As the children grow up, the same respect and devotion lead parents to educate them in the right use of their reason and freedom.
**
(Again Emphasis mine)

I have included what I think is valid justification for my recommendation.
 
With all due respect, what are we trying to accomplish?

A complete rupture, breaking up this family for good and all? Or a reconciliation, perhaps leading to the son seeing the error of his ways and correcting them.

If it is the former, by all means, shun him!

But if it is the latter, think long and hard about not going and the impact it will have on the relationships within the family. Ask yourself, “Have I completely exhausted love and prayer?”
 
iamrefreshed said:
Thanks for that. I was only trying to make an analogy.

I’ve had very little luck expressing to this poster how his posts come across as hurtful.
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I tried in a private post only to be rebuffed. I have put him on the ignore list. He is a very angry person. Your analogy was dead on perhaps that is why it was received with such rancor.
 
See what he said!!!

I told you, I was right!! He said that!

See…see…I was right! I was right! I told you!

Did you know what was meant?

Now do you see how childish this is?
 
adrift said:
I tried in a private post only to be rebuffed. I have put him on the ignore list. He is a very angry person. Your analogy was dead on perhaps that is why it was received with such rancor.
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For the first time ever on CA I had to use the ignore myself.
 
iamrefreshed said:
For the first time ever on CA I had to use the ignore myself.
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Don’t do it! You can’t ignore yourself. 😉

Seriously, the “ignore” feature doesn’t work for me, because I can’t help but open up the post and read it anyway. If it made them completely invisible, that would be different.
 
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