L
Leapenstein
Guest
I am facing a terribly difficult dilemma. My 21 year old niece (and Goddaughter, who I love to bits), a cradle Catholic, is marrying an evangelical Protestant in his church in two months. Seven months ago, just before they announced their engagement, it was brought to my attention that she had been “re-baptized” in his church. Apparently she was told it was more like just a simple initiation into his church & no big deal. She is a very sweet girl, but unfortunately not very solid in her understanding of her Catholic faith and unaware of the gravity of having done such a thing. Even though she has recently assured me that she intends to remain “Catholic”, I know she rarely attends Mass any more, and I see her drifting and gradually being pulled away… and choosing to be married outside the Church isn’t helping in that regard.
I managed to finally tell her two weeks ago that she needs to have a Catholic priest present at her marriage to validate it so as not to cut herself off from the Church and being able to receive Holy Communion. She was seemingly grateful to be told this, and asked me to look into securing a priest for her since she wasn’t sure what to do. To date I have not had any success… part of the problem is that she is not attending regularly (ie: not showing much commitment to her Faith), and marriage prep classes are required beforehand, which is not a possibility as the wedding is so close at hand. I believe another requirement is that the couple needs to agree to raise their children Catholic… I am pretty sure this is not going to happen since she is marrying an Evangelical who is most likely not interested in having Catholicism predominant in his home.
My terrible dilemma is this: do I still attend the wedding, even though it won’t be valid in the eyes of the Church? And even more significantly, that my niece, even though not directly choosing to consciously “leave” the Church, IS, nonetheless…? My own parish priest (a very holy & faithful priest) went so far as to tell my husband and I that he wouldn’t attend his own nephew’s wedding because he could not in good conscience support his nephew choosing “ex-communication” by marrying outside the church. Harsh words I know, but my understanding is that this is essentially the case.
Much of my extended family is feeling torn, but no one wants to hurt my niece and her parents. I am the only one who has quietly suggested the possibility of not going, but it’s killing me… how does one choose between holding fast to the Church’s standards, or, rather, keeping the peace in one’s family? We are a very close extended family, but any way I cut it, hard feelings would arise if my husband & I chose not to go… even if I was to explain it in a loving, sensitive manner.
Help! What’s a person to do???
I managed to finally tell her two weeks ago that she needs to have a Catholic priest present at her marriage to validate it so as not to cut herself off from the Church and being able to receive Holy Communion. She was seemingly grateful to be told this, and asked me to look into securing a priest for her since she wasn’t sure what to do. To date I have not had any success… part of the problem is that she is not attending regularly (ie: not showing much commitment to her Faith), and marriage prep classes are required beforehand, which is not a possibility as the wedding is so close at hand. I believe another requirement is that the couple needs to agree to raise their children Catholic… I am pretty sure this is not going to happen since she is marrying an Evangelical who is most likely not interested in having Catholicism predominant in his home.
My terrible dilemma is this: do I still attend the wedding, even though it won’t be valid in the eyes of the Church? And even more significantly, that my niece, even though not directly choosing to consciously “leave” the Church, IS, nonetheless…? My own parish priest (a very holy & faithful priest) went so far as to tell my husband and I that he wouldn’t attend his own nephew’s wedding because he could not in good conscience support his nephew choosing “ex-communication” by marrying outside the church. Harsh words I know, but my understanding is that this is essentially the case.
Much of my extended family is feeling torn, but no one wants to hurt my niece and her parents. I am the only one who has quietly suggested the possibility of not going, but it’s killing me… how does one choose between holding fast to the Church’s standards, or, rather, keeping the peace in one’s family? We are a very close extended family, but any way I cut it, hard feelings would arise if my husband & I chose not to go… even if I was to explain it in a loving, sensitive manner.
Help! What’s a person to do???