Should I attend this Protestant wedding? 2nd marriage for groom

[that_name]

But that is not what you said. You said the invitation was a Scandal. I can only assume then you are suggesting that if your marriage is outside the Church, do not invite any Catholics, as this would be Scandalous? Wedding planners the would over are trembling at the thought!

Heaven forbid someone make a typo error. I retract any thing that could possibally ever be misconscrued as stating that to issue an invitation to a Catholic is scandal.

Happy?

 

[Garyjohn2]

I don’t think that attending a wedding would be showing that you “approve” of all the decisions they have made in the past or present. Jesus ate with sinners and the authorities of the time interpretted this as Him “approving” of their lifestyle…but this was not the case as we all know.

By attending the wedding you would be showing them that you value their friendship, and support the love they have for each other…even if you think they are doing it wrong. If you have the opportunity to tell them about the right way to do things some day, that would be a plus.

If your friend smokes crack, you don’t get him the drugs, but you can still be his friend. Show up to his kid’s birthday party. Be a positive influence.

If your friend is a bank robber, don’t be the gettaway driver, but still visit him in prison. Give him hope.

If your friend is a baptist who has gotten divorced and now remarried, don’t be the wedding coordinator, but don’t forsake the friendship. If you keep these people close to your heart, you can help them more in the future. Be a light. The closer the light is, the more it can illuminate.

The only reason I say this is because not showing up to a friend’s wedding can sometimes cause hard feelings and actually end the friendship. I don’t think this is cause for risking that, but you know the relationship with your friend better than anyone on this board.

I say focus on the commonality you have in Christ, and look forward to engaging discussions about faith and the true nature of Catholicism in the years that come. As previous posters have said, it is important to share the truth. Keeping and showing that you value this friendship can keep the way open to do that down the road in a more meaningful way than simply not showing up!

But only you can decide.

 

[Jesus_123]

If I love someone, I cannot participate in their sin.

I won’t drive my friend while he robs a bank.

I won’t take my brother down to get a hit of crack.

I won’t celebrate an invalid marriage.

**And returning to the original poster’s (OP’s) topic . . . **the four points for consideration above are very sound and in harmony with Catholic teaching . . . as Christians and Catholics we are always supposed to thoughtfully discern the difference between right and wrong . . . good and evil . . . and as people of good will and well formed consciences we are to conduct our lives in cooperation with that which is right . . . and are always to try refrain from any type of “cooperation” with that which is wrong . . .

There are only two of the Seven (7) Sacraments in the Holy Roman Catholic Church which are recognized by the Church as not requiring a Catholic priest . . . the Sacrament of Baptism and the Sacrament of Marriage . . . and applying this reality to a marriage of two protestant children beloved of God . . . if this particular wedding were to be between two individuals who had never been married before . . . I cannot see where there would be a problem attending a protestant wedding . . . however . . . and this is a . . . BIG HOWEVER . . . the OP mentioned this is the 2nd marriage for the groom . . . and that does constitute a problem for a Catholic of a well formed good conscience . . . as they walk in the holy pathways of God with their Lord . . . blessed by the greater light of the Catholic Church’s clear teachings . . .

Surprising as it may sound . . . contrary to an earlier grossly exagerated comment on this thread . . . even some Baptist ministers and some Lutheran ministers . . . as a matter of well formed Christian conscience in relation to Christian doctrine re the marriage vows . . . will not remarry a divorced individual . . . (there are conservative orthodox protestant Christians who uphold the sanctity of marriage even as the Catholic Church does) . . . and . . . ***sad to say ***. . . the actual reality of divorce statistics in this day and age is that both Catholics and Protestants here in the United States have approximately the same percentage of civil divorces sought and granted . . .

When a remarriage is considered in the greater light and blessing of a well formed Catholic conscience . . . kindly and graciously declining to attend such a wedding under the circumstances described in the original post is fine . . . for as Catholics we know that Christian marriage is . . . NOT . . . just a matter of “two” people . . . a bride and a groom . . . but is in reality a “three” person relationship involving our Wonderful Holy God as the bride’s and groom’s Lord and Saviour . . . entering into a covenant relationship . . . in and with Christ Jesus . . .

. . . all for Jesus+​

 

[OraLabora]

Ouch! Thats a new one. So, you are saying that inviting Catholic Family/Loved Ones to a wedding is a scandal!?!?! Ba Zing!

Having a Papist in a Baptist church may be seen as a scandal by the Baptists I bet

At least with some Baptists.

Seriously though, we can’t expect everyone’s belief to match ours. If they are acting sincerely according to their beliefs, ISTM that the OP should be supportive of her friend and attend. Religious freedom is an important concept endorsed at the highest levels of our Church. It cuts both ways.

For the most part we should be more concerned with our own Christian walk than that of others. Leading by example is the best way to evangelize. You don’t evangelize by insulting someone and not going to their wedding because they aren’t Catholic.

 

[JSSebastianoP]

I would definitely not go.

 

[beckycmarie]

This should help everyone.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=167154

StrawberryJam, thank you for finding this thread. I did a search but missed this answer.
Michelle Arnold:

As for general rules:

• The Church does not explicitly forbid Catholics from attending presumptively-invalid marriages. Catholics must use their own prudential judgment in making the decision, keeping in mind the need to uphold the Catholic understanding of the sanctity of marriage. One rule of thumb that may be helpful in making such decisions might be to ask yourself if you believe the couple is doing the best that they can to act honorably and according to the truth that they have. So, for example, you might decide to attend the presumptively-invalid wedding of a couple who is expecting a child; but decline to attend the presumptively-invalid wedding of a couple who have engaged in adultery and destroyed previous marriages and families.

Looks like I’ll be attending. Thanks for your help with this question!

 

[StrawberryJam]

StrawberryJam, thank you for finding this thread. I did a search but missed this answer.

Looks like I’ll be attending. Thanks for your help with this question!

You are very welcome! I wish all of you the very best.

 

[Jesus_123]

+Re attending a protestant wedding where the gravely serious reality is one of the partners has already been married and taken marriage vows to someone else:

• The beloved cousin and forefunner of our Lord . . John the Baptist . . . was beheaded because he spoke out against a remarriage of a divorced person.
• The entire huge body of Catholic Christian children of God in England were stolen/kidnapped from our Holy Mother Church . . . the Apostolic Holy Roman Catholic Church . . . because King Henry the XIII wanted to cast off his living spouse and marry another . . . and the Vicar of Christ . . . the Pope . . . faithfully in all holiness would neither sanction nor allow him to do so. St. Thomas Moore and St. John Fisher, among many, were murdered because they upheld their Catholic Faith’s clear moral teachings.

In the Catholic Church there are valid marriages and marriages which are considered invalid . . . and the criteria for judging is a rather complex one . . . and while Christians outside the Catholic Church are not bound under our Holy Mother Church’s Canon Law . . . they are still bound under Biblical Christian moral principles . . .

. . . :coffeeread: . . .
Moral Principles

Everything we do must encourage and provide for our salvation and the salvation of others. We must be in the world, but not of the world (cf. John 17:15-19). By our participation in the lives of others, we must be salt of the earth and witness to the truths of Christ and His Church (Matthew 5:13). When we provide for our salvation and the salvation of others, we fulfill the two great commandments: to love **God **with our whole heart, mind and soul, and to love our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God (cf. Matthew 22:37-40). We must take care, however, not to become **“flat salt.” **As our Lord says:

:bible1: “You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trodden under foot by men. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven (Matthew 5:13-16).”​

The example given by Christ is noteworthy. He did not hesitate to associate **Himself **with sinners (Phil. 2:4-8). Though God, He took our human nature upon Himself, becoming like us in all ways except sin. **He **brought us truth in a way that we can easily understand. In this same way, we must not hesitate to associate ourselves with fellow sinners. However, we must take care to avoid sin and scandal.

If we allow or participate in the sin of another, we share that sin and its consequences.

As the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) teaches,

1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:

—by participating directly and voluntarily in them;

—by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;

—by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;

—by protecting evil-doers (no. 1868, original emphasis).​

2284 Scandal is an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil. The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter. He damages virtue and integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense.

2287 Anyone who uses the power at his disposal in such a way that it leads others to do wrong becomes guilty of scandal and responsible for the evil that he has directly or indirectly encouraged. ‘Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come!’ (Lk. 17:1)
Fornication and adultery are mortal sins. Those who persist in these sins endanger their salvation. They violate the :bible1: Sixth Commandment (CCC, nos. 2331-2400). Living together before marriage is fornication (CCC, no. 2353). Subsequent marriage of the couple does not blot out the sins they already committed, nor does the wedding itself necessarily change their attitudes or habits toward chastity and purity. Divorce and remarriage is an act of adultery, regardless of whether the “spouses” are Catholic or not (cf. Mark 10:10-12; CCC, no. 2384). For a Catholic who marries outside the Church, the Church does not recognize the marriage, and the union is considered adulterous (Code of Canon Law, canon 1108). [1] No one should promote fornication or adultery.

***- Faith Facts

cuf.org/faithfacts/details_view.asp?ffID=137***​

. . . all for Jesus+​

 

[Garyjohn2]

Jesus_123, looks like that was your 1,000th post!!!

…and it was a good one. Congrats.

 

[Jesus_123]

+Wow! . . . I hadn’t noticed . . . to God be the glory . . . thanks!

*In dedication to the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart . . . *

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Dear Lord+
. . . thank you Blessed St. Francis and Blessed St. Benedict+
. . . thank you blessed Holy Mother Church+​

 

[Laura_Ic]

If you value your friendship, I would go. I ask myself on occasion, what would Jesus do? He would go. Not attending could cause some hard feelings. Pray about it. Good luck.

 

[that_name]

If you value your friendship, I would go. I ask myself on occasion, what would Jesus do? He would go. Not attending could cause some hard feelings. Pray about it. Good luck.

Please, show one time when Jesus encouraged someone to sin and keep sinnin some more.

 

[StrawberryJam]

Please, show one time when Jesus encouraged someone to sin and keep sinnin some more.

You have yet to establish there is any sin being committed in this case. Unless, you are typing for your God, you can’t say that. Not only that, you have ignored what the apologist here at caf has posted in Ask the Apologist. Perhaps you should take it up with her.

 

[Garyjohn2]

We all know adultery is a sin.
We all know that encouraging sin is wrong.

The question is: is attending the wedding encouraging the sin?

I don’t think it is, but it depends on why the person is attending. If its to maintain a friendship that she can witness to later, it is good. If its to encourage the sin, it is bad.

 

[that_name]

You have yet to establish there is any sin being committed in this case. Unless, you are typing for your God, you can’t say that. Not only that, you have ignored what the apologist here at caf has posted in Ask the Apologist. Perhaps you should take it up with her.

Perhaps if you were a Christian you would understand how people of Faith do not agree that Jesus encouraged sin.

The apologist never said that Jesus would attend an invalid wedding nor that such a wedding is not sin. The apologist said that a person may attend if they feel a strong need to. BIG difference.

 

[StrawberryJam]

Perhaps if you were a Christian you would understand how people of Faith do not agree that Jesus encouraged sin.

The apologist never said that Jesus would attend an invalid wedding nor that such a wedding is not sin. The apologist said that a person may attend if they feel a strong need to. BIG difference.

So, you are saying the apologist is suggesting that people can do things Jesus would not like if they feel a strong need to?

Can you see how this is not helping you at all? As I said before, you should take it up with her.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

The apologist said that a person may attend if they feel a strong need to.

Actually, what I said was:
Michelle Arnold:

One rule of thumb that may be helpful in making such decisions might be to ask yourself if you believe the couple is doing the best that they can to act honorably and according to the truth that they have.

I didn’t say that someone may go to a presumptively-invalid wedding “if they feel a strong need to” because that would suggest that one could attend any invalid wedding (including a same-sex wedding) so long as a subjective need was felt. The point I was trying to make was that if a Catholic believes that the couple is doing their best to do the right thing based on the truth that the couple has, the Catholic may choose to attend for that reason.

And so, in this case, the Baptist couple may be objectively mistaken about the moral status of divorce and how it affects their marriage plans, but they may also sincerely believe they are doing the right thing and are not intentionally flouting God’s law on the matter. If there was sufficient reason to attend this wedding (e.g., closeness to the couple, family duty), then it would not be sinful for a Catholic to attend.

 

[that_name]

So, you are saying the apologist is suggesting that people can do things Jesus would not like if they feel a strong need to?

Can you see how this is not helping you at all? As I said before, you should take it up with her.

It is not about helping ME, it is about helping the person who is planning an invalid marriage.

And, yes, we can to do things that Jesus would never do, Jesus would never sin, we do it all the time.

 

[StrawberryJam]

It is not about helping ME, it is about helping the person who is planning an invalid marriage.

And, yes, we can to do things that Jesus would never do, Jesus would never sin, we do it all the time.

Your personal interpretation of sin noted.

 

[Jesus_123]

**. . . :coffeeread: . . . **********Conclusion

Anyone invited to the wedding of a couple** whose marriage does not promote the truth** should prayerfully consider his actions. Using the teachings explained in the Catechism, we should ask ourselves, * :coffeeread: How can I avoid participating in their sin, yet encourage their salvation?

• :coffeeread: How can I avoid scandal, yet encourage the salvation of others?"

Anyone in this situation should discuss the matter with a spiritual director or in the confessional before making the decision.

Whatever one’s decision may be, a Catholic should strive to give a clear and charitable witness to the faith. The Catholic Church does not teach whether we must or must not attend. Christ does say we must witness to the truth in a charitable manner. If loved ones or friends go through with the wedding, a Catholic should look for opportunities to maintain contact and witness to the truth. Above all, our decisions and actions must promote the salvation of souls. In fostering the salvation of souls, the Two Great Commandments are fulfilled.

- Faith Facts​

:compcoff: Link: cuf.org/faithfacts/details_view.asp?ffID=137

*Thank you Michelle for the above link . . .

May God bless the original poster with clear holy guidance . . . *

Peace . . .

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Dear Lord+
. . . thank you Blessed Holy Mother Mary+
. . . thank you blessed Holy Mother Church+


PRAYER TO
ST. MICHAEL
THE ARCHANGEL

O glorious prince St. Michael,
chief and commander of the heavenly hosts,
guardian of souls,
vanquisher of rebel spirits,
servant in the house of the **Divine King **
and our admirable conductor,
you who shine with excellence
and superhuman
virtue
deliver us from all evil,
who turn to you with confidence
and enable us by your gracious protection
to serve
God
more and more faithfully every day.
. . . in Jesus’ Dear and Holy Name we pray+
​