Should I avoid the beach/swimming pools?

[reed987]

Yesterday a friend invited me to go swimming. When we arrived there was a good number of very scantily clad, attractive young ladies. I’m not trying to pass judgment on anyone, believe me, but as the church talks so much about modesty and how its important I’m wondering if going to a place full of nearly nude women is not the best of decisions for a young man.

This is a question that’s really hard to word, I hope I said that right!

 

[Nechasin]

There is a difference between seeing someone as attractive and lusting over someone. If you cannot resist the temptation to the sin of Lust, then you should do what is necessary to avoid that temptation. If you can appreciate the female form with out lust, then there isn’t a problem. Ideally as a man you should strive to be able to resist the temptation and still do things you enjoy. For me this because easier with maturity (and the fact that I have three daughters).

 

[Liraco]

I agree with Nechasin, if it’s going to give you temptation to sin then avoid it.

If you do go and know that you can control yourself then there’s not really any problem with going to a beach or pool (a nude beach would be another matter ). If it helps, just focus on doing anything else BUT the barely-dressed women. Don’t stare, don’t keep looking back at a woman if it’s going to begin putting lustful thoughts in your head. If you happen to be talking to one of these pretty ladies, eye contact or eyes UP.

Remember that worrying too much about sin is also not going to help as it’s going to put it at the front of your mind and only make things worse.

There’s plenty to do on a beach or pool so just enjoy that.

 

[reed987]

thanks for these great answers guys

another question, so is it not right to be scantily clad/barely dressed at a beach?

 

[Justin1224]

What do you expect to see a the beach/pool?

 

[Liraco]

thanks for these great answers guys

another question, so is it not right to be scantily clad/barely dressed at a beach?

This article might help but I’ll try to condense it (keep in mind it’s written to address a girl’s question on why she should be dressing modestly) catholic.com/chastity/Q4.asp

to restore a sense of respect,* modesty is your number one weapon**…
many young women are aware that they have the power to seduce a man, but few girls are aware that their femininity also has the power to educate a guy. The way a girl dresses (not to mention the way she talks, dances, and so forth), has an extraordinary ability to help shape a man into a gentleman or into a beast.*

So what is modesty? It is not about looking as ugly as possible. It’s about taking the natural beauty of womanhood, and adorning it in a way that adequately reflects her true identity. …Dressing immodestly also harms a girl’s chances of being loved. The type of guys who will be drawn to her will not be the type of guys who will treat her as a daughter of God

it’s all too easy for guys and girls alike to shrug off the responsibility we have to help one another maintain purity. We need to adopt the attitude of St. Paul, and live in a way that does not cause our brother to stumble (Rom. 14:21).

There’s no problem with looking attractive. Problems arise, however, when clothing (or the lack thereof) is worn in a way that is immodest, or when a person falls into vanity and excessive concern about looking perfect. Your body is precious in the sight of God, and you don’t need to look like a Cosmo model to deserve love.

 

[srlucado]

Yesterday a friend invited me to go swimming. When we arrived there was a good number of very scantily clad, attractive young ladies.

Where exactly did you say this swimming pool was?

…Oh, sorry.

Anyway, given the general level of indecency these days, you may have your work cut out for you if you want to find a swimming pool that doesn’t show a lot of skin. Maybe your local active-adult community (and I’m not joking).

 

[Justin1224]

Where exactly did you say this swimming pool was?

…Oh, sorry.

Anyway, given the general level of indecency these days, you may have your work cut out for you if you want to find a swimming pool that doesn’t show a lot of skin. Maybe your local active-adult community (and I’m not joking).

You might need the help of Bill and Ted.

 

[Nechasin]

thanks for these great answers guys

another question, so is it not right to be scantily clad/barely dressed at a beach?

You can only control what you do. It would be nice if women would help us, but we can’t control that. We control only control our own thoughts and actions. Some of the young women are clueless and some know exactly what they are doing. The clueless ones, aren’t doing anything wrong, they just need some help in education. The ones that know what they are doing and doing it on purpose need our prayers. Unfortunately, our society today places far too much emphasis on seduction and sexuailty and not enough on self respect and confidence.

 

[GraceDK]

thanks for these great answers guys

another question, so is it not right to be scantily clad/barely dressed at a beach?

On the beach its normal for women and men to wear swimming clothes… is that scanty wear? It depends on the intention and on the eyes of the beholder. The eyes are yours so thats your department.
I went to the swimming hall some weeks ago and I saw a guy there. He had a naked upper body and he was HOT-HOT to look at. Did I not know that guys go shirtless (dress scantily(?) at the pools? of course. So did he do something wrong? Of course not. But he still looked so HOT that I had to tell my self not to stare because its NONE of my business to look at the body of a man who does not belong to me in marriage.
You can’t handle the beach? Don’t go there. But don’t create a problem in your mind just because some fanatic Catholic men yell “The wolf is coming”. Its not pious to judge others’ modesty or lack thereof. You cannot know if they are or not, actually. So what you need to do is watch out for your own clothes and your own eyes. Its that simple… the rest you can’t change anyway.

 

[GraceDK]

You can only control what you do. It would be nice if women would help us, but we can’t control that. We control only control our own thoughts and actions. Some of the young women are clueless and some know exactly what they are doing. The clueless ones, aren’t doing anything wrong, they just need some help in education. The ones that know what they are doing and doing it on purpose need our prayers. Unfortunately, our society today places far too much emphasis on seduction and sexuailty and not enough on self respect and confidence.

And the same could be said about men of course. In a way you could say, if no men objectified women, then no women would be tempted to try to get male attention through her body only. But women have to take responsiblity of their own actions, just like men should take responsibility of theirs.
As for educating women who do not know about the “visual-wire” of men … how would you start doing that without ruining the purity and innocense of girls and without destroying the respect they have for men?

 

[Nechasin]

On the beach its normal for women and men to wear swimming clothes… is that scanty wear?

For men and everyday swimwear there is a difference between board shorts and a speedo. A speedo has a purpose if you are training for competition but it doesn’t have a purpose for everyday swimming.

For women there is a difference between the swimsuits posted at foxnews “Voth’s Barely Legal Bikinis” and something that covers a little bit more. There are two piece swimsuits that are acceptable. I dont’ think we should go back to the Victorian-era swimsuits.

and the same could be said about men of course. In a way you could say, if no men objectified women, then no women would be tempted to try to get male attention through her body only. But women have to take responsiblity of their own actions, just like men should take responsibility of theirs.
As for educating women who do not know about the “visual-wire” of men … how would you start doing that without ruining the purity and innocense of girls and without destroying the respect they have for men?

I think that society as a whole needs to be changed to for both sexes to respect each other with our actions, words, and thoughts. Parents to need emphasize self-respect and confindence growing up. I think it goes back to having a solid family unit. Women will find out about the visual wire of men one way or another. I would rather my daughters find out in a good way where they can maintain there innoncence and respect of men versus a bad way in which that innoncence and respect is destroyed. My son will be taught to respect women for the beautify creations that they are and how to properly show that respect.

 

[GraceDK]

For men and everyday swimwear there is a difference between board shorts and a speedo. A speedo has a purpose if you are training for competition but it doesn’t have a purpose for everyday swimming.

For women there is a difference between the swimsuits posted at foxnews “Voth’s Barely Legal Bikinis” and something that covers a little bit more. There are two piece swimsuits that are acceptable. I dont’ think we should go back to the Victorian-era swimsuits.

I think that society as a whole needs to be changed to for both sexes to respect each other with our actions, words, and thoughts. Parents to need emphasize self-respect and confindence growing up. I think it goes back to having a solid family unit. Women will find out about the visual wire of men one way or another. I would rather my daughters find out in a good way where they can maintain there innoncence and respect of men versus a bad way in which that innoncence and respect is destroyed. My son will be taught to respect women for the beautify creations that they are and how to properly show that respect.

But who says what is acceptable? Me? You? Who… thats the question always. I might think that what 90 percent of the males wear at the beach is not modest enough. But I do know I am not the definer of this. I think it would be most modest for men to cover their upper bodies but this is an estimation based on my own sense of modesty, not that of the majority. I will not make my own ideals into a moral-absolute for others to follow, because my ideas are just that, mine: my taste, my culture, my background etc have made these ideas ripen into their current shape and content…
I have been in so many of these debates… they always start out by some indignation against the immodest women. Its posted here in a Catholic forum which is another mystery to me… anyway… Some women were so angry in the end, feeling judged, that they went out and bought a bikini or were in some other way moved out of their peace and into rebellion by what they felt to be male atteempts to dominate. Some men were so provoked by the perceived lack of understanding that they started to magnify muslim wear… which in turn made many want to puke because the intention behind burkhinis etc has no true respect for human sexuality at all but has become demonic.

By the way. Women are not “beautifying creations”. They are much more. they are human beings, persons, with a personality, soul, mind, feelings, intellect and heart… teach your son that. Then he will know the lines.

Peace

 

[Nechasin]

God created humans…therefore we are creations of God. I am a creation of God. It is not derogatory to be a creation God.