Should I baptize my son Catholic?

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LaSainte

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Hi. As many here know, I am having a really hard time with NFP. I have trouble believing that the Church’s teaching on contraception actually comes from God and I do not trust NFP to work. I just had my 2nd child at 35 and it has been very difficult on me. I definitely do not want another one, ever-although I love the two that I have very much. We just got a 4000 dollar hospital bill that we can’t pay and will have to put it on credit and we have 40000 dollars in debt.

I need to go to confession but I can’t because I am not firmly resolved not to “sin” again, as I am seriously considering using contraception…in fact, I probably will. So because of this, I cannot receive the sacraments and may never be able to do so again.

I need to baptize my son in December. Should I baptize him in the Catholic Church or go somewhere else?
 
You can certainly baptize your son in the Catholic Church even while you struggle with your own questions about contraception. Have you discussed with your priest?
 
Alan55 said:
You can certainly baptize your son in the Catholic Church even while you struggle with your own questions about contraception. Have you discussed with your priest?
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No, I’m at a real spiritual low point right now because of all this. I haven’t even been to Church in awhile-although my son is only 6 weeks old so it’s not like I don’t have a reason/excuse. I’m even finding prayer really difficult right now. I just don’t want to commit a sacrilege by standing up and swearing to raise my son Catholic when I don’t even know if I can ever receive communion again.
 
There are those who raise their children Catholic…who are not even Catholic themselves at all…(spouses of Catholics)…

I do though invite you to follow the teachings of Church…even on difficult subjects.
In Christ and thus in his Church is* true life*.

If one has the needed reasons (I am not the judge if one does or does not) one can use NFP to avoid …

And I would suggest the creighton model (contact paul VI institute) --for it is likely the best out there…and takes into consideration even odd cycles etc etc.

Jesus, as well as the Church loves you… Grace is there to help you live the truth of the meaning of marriage etc…as is the Church. Pray and seek the helps needed to live it.

with prayer

BC
 
LaSainte said:
Hi. As many here know, I am having a really hard time with NFP. I have trouble believing that the Church’s teaching on contraception actually comes from God and I do not trust NFP to work. I just had my 2nd child at 35 and it has been very difficult on me. I definitely do not want another one, ever-although I love the two that I have very much. We just got a 4000 dollar hospital bill that we can’t pay and will have to put it on credit and we have 40000 dollars in debt.

I need to go to confession but I can’t because I am not firmly resolved not to “sin” again, as I am seriously considering using contraception…in fact, I probably will. So because of this, I cannot receive the sacraments and may never be able to do so again.

I need to baptize my son in December. Should I baptize him in the Catholic Church or go somewhere else?
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In the Catholic Church, definitely.
As for the other circumstances, it is hard to give an opinion on little info.
 
Baptize him in the one, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church founded by Jesus Christ.

God bless :byzsoc:

David
 
This is a sensitive time in your life.
It seems the devil works extra hard on new parents.

The Church does recognize responsible parenthood. You and your husband together should attend an NFP class. Give it a try.
NFP is much more accurate and not like it used to be years ago.

This is from the CCC -
" 2370 Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality.
These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil:
Thus the innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other.
This leads not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality. . . .
The difference, both anthropological and moral, between contraception and recourse to the rhythm of the cycle . . . involves in the final analysis two irreconcilable concepts of the human person and of human sexuality."

Study NFP and pray to do God’s will (as stated in the Lord’s Prayer).
After one week of fertility, plan a special night for you and your husband. 👍
Get a babysitter if necessary.

Don’t do anything that will cause you to have to give up receiving Jesus in the Holy Eucharist - only the Catholic Church has this.

Yes, baptize your baby in the Catholic Church. None of us know how much time we have on earth.

God bless you and your family.
 
Right now you are responsible for your child so I would baptize him as soon as you can.

Your child is not having a “spiritual” difficult time like you, so you should not take away fron him this sacrament.

From difficult time comes the most solid spiritual fondation.
Sex relantionship can be more or less important depending our way of being. But regardless remember what St. John the apostol wrote: if your heart condem you, God is greater then our heart and He knows everything.

Sometimes in sin we find humility. We relize how much we are away from the Lord teachings and we have a boost to became better.

Peter denied Jesus three times because he was afraid. Because Peter was just a human being like you are.

I think it is just when you are in sin that you need more the help of the sacrements.
I guess is part of the devil to make us feel worthed or unworthed.
So sinning make you more distant from the Lord and then since when you sin you don’t feel worthed you keep yourself even farther from the Lord.

When you sin you are not less worthed then when you don’t sin.
When you sin you are just more worthed of something: of Lord forgiveness.
If you know that you are going to commit this sin again pray the Lord to help you becoming different, to help you not to do a sin that is stronger then you, to make you stronger.

God bless you and your family
 
LaSainte said:
Hi. As many here know, I am having a really hard time with NFP. I have trouble believing that the Church’s teaching on contraception actually comes from God and I do not trust NFP to work. I just had my 2nd child at 35 and it has been very difficult on me. I definitely do not want another one, ever-although I love the two that I have very much. We just got a 4000 dollar hospital bill that we can’t pay and will have to put it on credit and we have 40000 dollars in debt.

I need to go to confession but I can’t because I am not firmly resolved not to “sin” again, as I am seriously considering using contraception…in fact, I probably will. So because of this, I cannot receive the sacraments and may never be able to do so again.

I need to baptize my son in December. Should I baptize him in the Catholic Church or go somewhere else?
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I’m not sure what kind of response you are expecting to have on a Catholic forum other than the ones you have already had - “do NFP anyway, it does work!” and “yes, of course baptise him!” not saying that this isn’t good advice, but just be aware that you are unlikely to receive a no, and even less likely to be told that using contraception is ever ok.
 
I find that God often loves to put people in seemingly hopeless situations just so he can prove that his grace is sufficient to get them through whatever troubles them.

Rather than turn to something that clearly goes against God’s Law, why not pray about it and tell God you will follow his way, but you need guidance and help? What good is it to live this kind of life? You are trading a small, surmountable problem for an eternally rotten one. That makes no sense.

My experience with the Couple to Couple League’s Symptothermal Method has been wonderful. It is not as subjective as some methods, and it provides cross-references that help my wife and I be more at ease with the charting.

Do this for your son, if nothing else. He deserves Baptism, and he deserves a mother that is trying to live a holy life.

Think of Joseph and Mary in the desert, fleeing to Egypt with nothing. They were taking a HUGE leap of faith, but God rewarded their trust. Look at Abraham’s whole life. It was one series of tests after another. Why? To see if he REALLY trusted God.

My point is this: while it may seem dark right now, you have to believe that there is hope. You have to believe that God will give you what you need - your daily bread.

You have to believe that there is a choice that does not involve losing your soul.
 
LaSainte said:
Hi. As many here know, I am having a really hard time with NFP. I have trouble believing that the Church’s teaching on contraception actually comes from God and I do not trust NFP to work. I just had my 2nd child at 35 and it has been very difficult on me. I definitely do not want another one, ever-although I love the two that I have very much. We just got a 4000 dollar hospital bill that we can’t pay and will have to put it on credit and we have 40000 dollars in debt.

I need to go to confession but I can’t because I am not firmly resolved not to “sin” again, as I am seriously considering using contraception…in fact, I probably will. So because of this, I cannot receive the sacraments and may never be able to do so again.

I need to baptize my son in December. Should I baptize him in the Catholic Church or go somewhere else?
Click to expand...
Do you have somewhere else to go? A place that is more of a home to you?

Just because you’re having a hard time with one or more teachings of the Church doesn’t mean you have to have your son Baptised elsewhere. You can still raise your son Catholic without following every rule (that you’re having trouble with) to the letter. Just because you’re having a hard time with some teachings now, doesn’t mean you wont’ be following them later. Our spiritual journey doesn’t end with one decision, or one stumbling block, but continues through the course of life.
 
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses. To be more clear, I have every intention of having my son baptized. My faith in Christ is strong. It is my faith in the Church that is wavering, which is why I was wondering if I should have him baptized in another church. I don’t want to be sacrilegious by promising before God to raise my son Catholic when I don’t know for sure if I can really do that.

Also, it is not a matter of choosing to go against the will of God. It is a matter of not believing that this rule on contraception comes from God at all. I have prayed often about it for clarity and understanding and have gotten neither. I am not going to ruin my life over a rule that I do not believe even comes from God. Believe me, if I thought for a second that this rule came from Christ, this would not even be an issue for me. I know all the arguments and not one of them seems logical or even rational to me or to my husband. This has caused me to doubt the infallibility of the Church as well for obvious reasons.

Wouldn’t it be a sin to stand up and promise something before God that I do not know if I am prepared to fulfill?
 
Dear LaSainte,

I think, in your heart, you’re looking for a hard and fast rule declared by Christ against artificial contraception. If you believe that Christ gave authority to His Church, then I see no reason for one not to assent.
 
LaSainte,

My issues make your’s look like child’s play.😃

I was divorced…cheating wife left me…and I civilly remarried to another Catholic, and neither one of us had an annulment. The children were baptized, and one received Communion, well before we did the convalidation. There are plenty of issues related to this that I won’t get into. Then there is a plethora of other things that I disagree with the Church on. However, I do not let my issues and burdens becomes the issues and burdens of someone else.

I raise my children as Roman Catholics, and I suggest you do the same.
 
Please Please Please talk to a priest. Swallow your pride and talk to a priest. Pope John Paul II gave us such beautiful words in The Theology of the Body. Give the Church (through a priest) a chance to help you see the beauty of your marriage. A priest will not judge you, but give clarity to the situation. Please know, that there is such beauty in the Church’s teaching on no contraception. It is not something that we are “punished” with. Find a good holy priest, be honest, and learn about the Church’s teaching.
 
LaSainte said:
**Also, it is not a matter of choosing to go against the will of God. **It is a matter of not believing that this rule on contraception comes from God at all. I have prayed often about it for clarity and understanding and have gotten neither. I am not going to ruin my life over a rule that I do not believe even comes from God. Believe me, if I thought for a second that this rule came from Christ, this would not even be an issue for me. I know all the arguments and not one of them seems logical or even rational to me or to my husband. This has caused me to doubt the infallibility of the Church as well for obvious reasons.

Wouldn’t it be a sin to stand up and promise something before God that I do not know if I am prepared to fulfill?
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Actually, it is, indeed, a matter of choosing to go against the will of God. Remember that Jesus told the Apostles “whatever you bind on earth is bound in Heaven” and also “he who hears you hears me”. So, Jesus has given the Pope and the bishops the authority to make the rules. And those rules are from Him, since He would never have made those statements unless He was guaranteeing that the Holy Spirit would ensure that any such binding rules were in accordance with His wishes.

If you reject a Doctrine or Dogma of the Church you are going against the will of God.

You need to recognize that your refusal to accept that artificial contraception is against the will of God is because you, in the weakness of your humanity, still do not trust God or His Church. We all have thoughts like this at some time in our lives. It is because of original sin. We all need to reject such thoughts, since they will lead us to sin.
 
LaSainte said:
Hi. As many here know, I am having a really hard time with NFP. I have trouble believing that the Church’s teaching on contraception actually comes from God and I do not trust NFP to work. I just had my 2nd child at 35 and it has been very difficult on me. I definitely do not want another one, ever-although I love the two that I have very much. We just got a 4000 dollar hospital bill that we can’t pay and will have to put it on credit and we have 40000 dollars in debt.

I need to go to confession but I can’t because I am not firmly resolved not to “sin” again, as I am seriously considering using contraception…in fact, I probably will. So because of this, I cannot receive the sacraments and may never be able to do so again.

I need to baptize my son in December. Should I baptize him in the Catholic Church or go somewhere else?
Click to expand...
Baptize him in the Catholic Church.

We all go through struggles. Everything is new and shiny for me right now, but it doesn’t mean I did not go through struggles as a Protestant Christian.

I was raised Evangelical Baptist and Pentecostal in good, solid Bible-teaching churches with great youth ministries. I went through my struggles as a mother and eventually ended up in a liberal church.

Looking at two of my kids’ lukewarm attitudes towards God, I sincerely regret my decision to not raise them Evangelical, no matter what I felt personally. They missed out on the support system that I had growing up. They missed out on the love and fear of the Lord which the church helped to cultivate.

Now that I’ve done a flip on them and mom is not liberal anymore, they are confused.

What I’m saying is have your son baptized Catholic and raise him in your faith, while God works on you. 🙂
 
LaSainte said:
Also, it is not a matter of choosing to go against the will of God. It is a matter of not believing that this rule on contraception comes from God at all.
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With all respect and brotherly love, I’d point out that all Christians from apostolic times (yes, there was contraception back then), through St. Augustine, the Protestant leaders (Calvin, Zwingli, Knox, and Luther), and even all protestants up until 1930 held that this was a teaching of the natural law that comes from God and is binding.

You think about all that divided Christianity in the midst of the Protestant revolt…yet they ALL were unanimous with the Catholics that artificial birth control was contrary, not to truth revealed by Christ (of which we are incapable of knowing apart from divine revelation), but rather it’s contrary to natural law (like murder, thievery, adultery, lying, and the like).

The role of conscience is not to create moral value, it is to apply it. If your private understanding with limited study and theological formation (let’s face it, were not moral theologians) goes contrary to centuries of unanimous Christian morality as taught by the infallible Catholic Church and even Protestant churches from the earliest times of the Reformation, it is only reasonable to assume that your private conscience is misinformed.
 
LaSainte said:
I am not going to ruin my life over a rule that I do not believe even comes from God. Believe me, if I thought for a second that this rule came from Christ, this would not even be an issue for me. I know all the arguments and not one of them seems logical or even rational to me or to my husband.
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Imagine your child, when told of the “rules” of the house set by you and your husband, responds with “I know all the arguments and not one of them seems logical or even rational to me.”

The point is that we are free to choose what we will and will not do, but don’t expect that there might not be a price to pay in the end. It is arrogance and presumption to think that we, our own selfish selves, can decide that we are right and the Church is wrong. The reasons and the answers are before you, yet you refuse to accept them because it is not what you want. If you think bringing children into the world to raise and love, and give them the possibility to be united with Jesus in heaven forever is an occasion that may “ruin” your life, then your focus and priorities are misaligned.
 
If I might offer my opinion, it seems rather foolish to throw out the religion of the lifetime because you can’t understand the reasoning behind a teaching. You’d throw out the Pope, the Real Presence (most likely), the place of Mary, the Communion of Saints and things too numerous to name here.

Now, if you do decide to leave, as a result of your not understanding at all the reasons for the Church’s prohibition on birth control, it would follow logically that you shouldn’t baptize your son Catholic. If however, you stay with the Faith, then by all means you should baptize him, even if you’re doubting. Every Saint has doubted, some more than others, and whatever you do, don’t give up. Knowing you have a son to raise can only help you in your struggles.

Whatever you do, don’t give up, and don’t despair. Mother Teresa went 50 years with no contact with God. You can make it through confusion over birth control, can you not?
 
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