Should I be concerned for this person

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rebeccajohns

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Do you think a person who always comments on how life has never been fair to them, or makes comments like, "thank you for being here for me and helping me get through life, or like if I died today, it would be a good thing because life has not been so good to me so it doesn’t really matter. Or comments like if it wasn’t because my parents would suffer, I would have no problem ending my life. Do you think this person although he acts like he has it all together is suffering and has no appreciation for his life? He has a lot of money and thinks being cheap and saving all his money is very important, but I wonder if he is hiding something that makes him very unhappy and this is why he sounds so negative towards life. I personally get the feeling that he may be gay and does not want to come out of the closet because his parents would disagree and this may be the reason why he is so unhappy and makes periodic comments like this. He was raised Catholic, his two brothers are openly gay and supposedly he is the only one straight, but he can never hold a relationship because he is too darn picky and not willing to give it all. Holding on to money is very important to him and he has anal things about him. I just wonder if this is the reason why he makes comments like this. Just wondering. I don’t think he will take his life but I do believe he is lonely and not being himself openly.
 
rebeccajohns said:
Do you think a person who always comments on how life has never been fair to them, or makes comments like, "thank you for being here for me and helping me get through life, or like if I died today, it would be a good thing because life has not been so good to me so it doesn’t really matter. Or comments like if it wasn’t because my parents would suffer, I would have no problem ending my life. Do you think this person although he acts like he has it all together is suffering and has no appreciation for his life? He has a lot of money and thinks being cheap and saving all his money is very important, but I wonder if he is hiding something that makes him very unhappy and this is why he sounds so negative towards life. I personally get the feeling that he may be gay and does not want to come out of the closet because his parents would disagree and this may be the reason why he is so unhappy and makes periodic comments like this. He was raised Catholic, his two brothers are openly gay and supposedly he is the only one straight, but he can never hold a relationship because he is too darn picky and not willing to give it all. Holding on to money is very important to him and he has anal things about him. I just wonder if this is the reason why he makes comments like this. Just wondering. I don’t think he will take his life but I do believe he is lonely and not being himself openly.
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The best thing you can do for this person is praying for him. Recommend him to pray about it. But if he refuses or is not interested, you can pray for him. Prayer makes difference.

I suggest the Rosary.
 
rebeccajohns said:
Do you think a person who always comments on how life has never been fair to them, or makes comments like, "thank you for being here for me and helping me get through life, or like if I died today, it would be a good thing because life has not been so good to me so it doesn’t really matter. Or comments like if it wasn’t because my parents would suffer, I would have no problem ending my life. Do you think this person although he acts like he has it all together is suffering and has no appreciation for his life? He has a lot of money and thinks being cheap and saving all his money is very important, but I wonder if he is hiding something that makes him very unhappy and this is why he sounds so negative towards life. I personally get the feeling that he may be gay and does not want to come out of the closet because his parents would disagree and this may be the reason why he is so unhappy and makes periodic comments like this. He was raised Catholic, his two brothers are openly gay and supposedly he is the only one straight, but he can never hold a relationship because he is too darn picky and not willing to give it all. Holding on to money is very important to him and he has anal things about him. I just wonder if this is the reason why he makes comments like this. Just wondering. I don’t think he will take his life but I do believe he is lonely and not being himself openly.
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Yes be concerned,

your posting is rather all over the place but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing,

If this person is making comments or has literally made a serious comment, even if it appears off the cuff : if my life ended today , it would be a good thing because …

That is a major red flag, it indicates possible depression, and an indication that the door to suicide is close by, it may not be opened and the person may not have even touched the door knob, but it is still too close to this persons life. Stomp it out quick.

research more signs and symptoms of depression and suicide, and then consider if this person fits any of it and how you can find this person professional help.

this persons concerns in regards to money how cheap he may appear, is too vague to really comment on … let us say things swing quick for him and pick up for the best he finds himself married to a woman and now has children, well being tight now has a nest for a family, and possibly an inheritance waiting for children or grandchildren.

money shouldnt be a primary focus…

whether or not your friend is struggling with being homosexual who knows, chances are he has asked himself numerous times I wonder if I am because my brothers are, and being single wont help him any cause now questions like well females dont flirt with me, or i dont know how to flirt with them, i am probably a homosexual too. But that doesnt mean it is true and there are ways to figure it out …

Maybe some reassurances are in order, for this person. Do not assume he is gay and just needs to face the fact that he is… plenty of emotional men out that are heterosexual, but wear their heart on their sleeve and it comes off as homosexual.

and if he turns out to be gay, so what, it isn’t like it is the end of the world, he isn’t the only one on the planet, it is a sin, and Christ offers him the opprotunity for forgiveness and all one can do is acknowledge to that truth and to do so in an open and caring way.

Keep researching the signs of depression and suicide, keep a close eye on your friend, prayer for him is just as important so keep that in your heart as well. And don’t be afraid to tell your friend you are concerned and are praying for him.
 
OK, rebeccajohns, this person is in trouble. He is having what is called “suicidal ideation”. Whenever someone talks about ending his life, even if he has not made preparations for suicide i.e. getting a gun, buying some pills, etc., there is always cause for concern. It is not a matter of “appreciation” for his life. It is not about being “picky” or “cheap”. Does he have a family history of depression or something similar? Maybe it *is * about feeling that he has to hide his sexual preferences. We just don’t know. But the wise move here would be to **exercise extreme caution ** and point him in the direction of a doctor. And, no, I’m not a shrink, but I am bi-polar and have seen psychiatrists for years, years and more years. I take beaucoup du meds and had my share of hospital stays, and ECT, too. That doesn’t make me an expert, but it does make me concerned. Pray to St. Dymphna for him:

Lord Jesus Christ, You have willed that St. Dymphna should be invoked by thousands of clients as the patroness of nervous and mental disease and have brought it about that her interest in these patients should be an inspiration to and an ideal of charity throughout the world. Grant that, through the prayers of this youthful martyr of purity, those who suffer from nervous and mental illness everywhere on earth may be helped and consoled. I recommend to You in particular those for whom we now pray.

Be pleased to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna and of Your Blessed Mother. Give those whom I recommend the patience to bear with their affliction and resignation to do Your divine will. Give them the consolation they need and especially the cure they so much desire, if it be Your will. Through Christ, Our Lord.

Amen.
 
Two things are apparent in your original post:
  1. This guy is a perfectionist;
  2. He is, almost literally, crying out for help…
To help him, first, I’d forget about the possibility of his being gay. Many men with similar backgrounds (religious upbringing, gays in the family) who also think their lives are worthless if anything is going wrong often admit it only after years in intensive therapy. That is, if they were gay to begin with. So, pray about it, but keep it between yourself and God…unless the man himself opens up to you.

His perfectionism is apparent in his inability to sustain a relationship, his over-attentiveness to his finances, and, in what is also the loudest cry for help that I heard in your post-his unhappiness with life, and the fact that he’s discussing it with you.

So, after going through my explanation,I’d say…pray for him, and with him, if/when possible. He’s asking for attention, so give it to him-in a caring but healthy way.

I’ll pray for him, too, and, as others see this thread, and join in, maybe you’ll be seeing improvement soon.

One more thing-do you think he’d be willing to see a therapist for his depression and suicidal feelings? If he tries to use money as an excuse, he may have inexpensive options, expecially if he’s still in school. Even if not, try to tell him that you can see that he’s unhappy, and that it might just be ‘money well spent’.

So, I begin my part in this:

Our Father,
Who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
On earth, as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory,
Now and Forever.

Amen
 
Lord, please heal Rebecca’s friend and help him to be a joyful Catholic. May he find peace, healing and strength in prayer and the sacraments. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer.
 
For your friend

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Yes, it’s ok to be concerned, please say a rosary and divine mercy chaplet for him, I will.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Lord Jesus Christ, You have willed that St. Dymphna should be invoked by thousands of clients as the patroness of nervous and mental disease and have brought it about that her interest in these patients should be an inspiration to and an ideal of charity throughout the world. Grant that, through the prayers of this youthful martyr of purity, those who suffer from nervous and mental illness everywhere on earth may be helped and consoled. I recommend to You in particular those for whom we now pray.

Be pleased to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna and of Your Blessed Mother. Give those whom I recommend the patience to bear with their affliction and resignation to do Your divine will. Give them the consolation they need and especially the cure they so much desire, if it be Your will. Through Christ, Our Lord.

Amen
 
Thank you all for your support. Yes, I have been a true friend and will continue to be there for him always. I appreciate your prayers. Regardless of what he is going through, who he is or not, I will always support him and be a true friend to him. Thank you and continue your prayers. 🙂
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Lord Jesus Christ, You have willed that St. Dymphna should be invoked by thousands of clients as the patroness of nervous and mental disease and have brought it about that her interest in these patients should be an inspiration to and an ideal of charity throughout the world. Grant that, through the prayers of this youthful martyr of purity, those who suffer from nervous and mental illness everywhere on earth may be helped and consoled. I recommend to You in particular those for whom we now pray.

Be pleased to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna and of Your Blessed Mother. Give those whom I recommend the patience to bear with their affliction and resignation to do Your divine will. Give them the consolation they need and especially the cure they so much desire, if it be Your will. Through Christ, Our Lord.

Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Lord Jesus Christ, You have willed that St. Dymphna should be invoked by thousands of clients as the patroness of nervous and mental disease and have brought it about that her interest in these patients should be an inspiration to and an ideal of charity throughout the world. Grant that, through the prayers of this youthful martyr of purity, those who suffer from nervous and mental illness everywhere on earth may be helped and consoled. I recommend to You in particular those for whom we now pray.

Be pleased to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna and of Your Blessed Mother. Give those whom I recommend the patience to bear with their affliction and resignation to do Your divine will. Give them the consolation they need and especially the cure they so much desire, if it be Your will. Through Christ, Our Lord.

Amen.

:crossrc:
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Lord Jesus Christ, You have willed that St. Dymphna should be invoked by thousands of clients as the patroness of nervous and mental disease and have brought it about that her interest in these patients should be an inspiration to and an ideal of charity throughout the world. Grant that, through the prayers of this youthful martyr of purity, those who suffer from nervous and mental illness everywhere on earth may be helped and consoled. I recommend to You in particular those for whom we now pray.

Be pleased to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna and of Your Blessed Mother. Give those whom I recommend the patience to bear with their affliction and resignation to do Your divine will. Give them the consolation they need and especially the cure they so much desire, if it be Your will. Through Christ, Our Lord.

Amen.
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
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