Should I be looking for something in confession?

[Donmar35]

In going to confession, I seem to run across 2 basic “styles” among priests. It seems rather more common among older priests that they don’t seem to be paying much attention to what you’re saying.They just give you absolution and tell you to say 5 Hail Mary’s.
There are also priests that seem to turn it into a therapy session. I’m not really comfortable with either end. I want the priest to understand what I’m going through, but I also don’t want my sins( very many) turned into a psychotherapy session.

Does anyone have an answer to what I’m looking for or should I just ignore it all and put it all in God’s hands.

I realise that absolution is absolution no matter what. I guess I’d like some short advice, since my major sins ( masturbation) are addictive and on-going.

Any mails, in the forum or private would be appreciated.

Thanks much and Christ’s peace!

 

[chimakuni]

The priest cannot make you stop sinning - no matter what your sins are. They can and will absolve you of the sins that you repent of, that you know.

As far as your major sin…you need to have the desire to stop. So, instead of saying the part in the act of contrition which specifically says, “to avoid the near occasion of sin and sin no more.” I guess you would have to leave that part out. THAT might clue your priest in…that you are serious - you want help.

My priest; when I confessed some marital problems and when I confessed depression told me that I should avail myself to counseling, more to the point, he was very adamant that I avail myself to counseling if the depression did not go away and if the marriage continued to be difficult.

Have you thought about going to counseling…there are many good Christians counselors that may be able to help you.

Perhaps you can see the priest outside of the confessional to ask for further help…

Just my two cents worth. God Bless -

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Donmar35:

In going to confession, I seem to run across 2 basic “styles” among priests. It seems rather more common among older priests that they don’t seem to be paying much attention to what you’re saying.They just give you absolution and tell you to say 5 Hail Mary’s.
There are also priests that seem to turn it into a therapy session. I’m not really comfortable with either end. I want the priest to understand what I’m going through, but I also don’t want my sins( very many) turned into a psychotherapy session.

Does anyone have an answer to what I’m looking for or should I just ignore it all and put it all in God’s hands.

I realise that absolution is absolution no matter what. I guess I’d like some short advice, since my major sins ( masturbation) are addictive and on-going.

Any mails, in the forum or private would be appreciated.

Thanks much and Christ’s peace!

If you have a monastery near, you might ask about Confession there.

 

[Princess_Abby]

This is very interesting. When I lived in the midwest, I would agree that is a very good assessment of what happens in confession.

However…living in Philadelphia now…I have been surprised these last 2-3 years by some of the priests I’ve encountered. Many of them have made some very harsh comments pertaining to a variety of sins. It’s to the point now where I semi-fear going to routine confession. I don’t have a regular confessor, but I switch between a couple parishes. (One of them has a particularly kind priest; the rest are rather cranky.)

I told Father last week that I feel like I struggle with the same sins over and over again…his response was to ask why I was “here” then. “If I absolved you of this last week, where was your intention to make amends and sin no more?”

It was very disconcerting. I think MANY of us have habitual sin…but it made me feel like a total freak!

 

[Br.Dan_OCD]

Dear Donmar35,

I think it is well within your rights (and duties) as a Catholic to have a confessor who really helps you. I suggest you keep looking.

To Princess_Abby: we all have habitual failings/sins. Some people have more obvious ones than others and are more aware of them…as you seem to be. You’re not a freak! Keep trying and keep begging God for help.

 

[Charlemagne]

Princess_Abby:

This is very interesting. When I lived in the midwest, I would agree that is a very good assessment of what happens in confession.

However…living in Philadelphia now…I have been surprised these last 2-3 years by some of the priests I’ve encountered. Many of them have made some very harsh comments pertaining to a variety of sins. It’s to the point now where I semi-fear going to routine confession.!

It was the very frim (I would say it bordered on harsh, but wasn’t quite there) words of a semi-regular confessor (one retired Bishop, two Priests at my Parish - you never know who you’re going to get until you arrive at the Church) that helped me to break the cycle of a habitual sin recently. Some of us need a good swift kick in the backside to shake us up. I think this Priest realized that. He finished by giving me a lengthy Penance and some advice on what to do when I’m tempted. So far - so good!

 

[asquared]

what should you be looking for in confession? absolution. everything else is gravy

 

[otm]

Princess_Abbey, I think that Br. Dan was right; what you got was a kick in the behind. It is a legitimate question: if you are in habitual sin, it may be that your moral culpability is less; but what are you doing about it? It ain’t easy (or, perhaps, it is so easy…), but confronting the pattern that leads you right back where you were is the first step in breaking the habit. And if he hadn’t asked you, who would?

You’re not a freak. Just a sinner like all the rest of us…

God bless.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

Br. Rich SFO:

If you have a monastery near, you might ask about Confession there.

Yes. While I think “shopping” has its own downside when it comes to priests, if the extremes you describe are not building an affection for the sacrament within you, keep looking. Look for a confessor that is serious about his own personal holiness… in your eyes. Obviously, it is not for you to judge how another person’s soul might appear to God. I mean only that it should be someone whose counsel and desire for sanctity you respect.